Loving More Than One

Still Looking's Avatar
now SL we all know who your true soul mate is...the one you bricker with the most is the one you secretly love....just sayin.... Originally Posted by Irish Vixen
Burk???
TheDoc's Avatar
I think you can definitely love more than one person.
There are also different types of love. The way I love my kids, vs the way I love my SO, vs the way I love my friends.
I also think you can be in love with more than one person. I am guilty of falling in love with a provider. I don't think I love my SO any less because of it.
I guess love is complicated. I don't claim to understand it very well.
Still Looking's Avatar
Well I see love as a choice not something that just happens. People tend to use it as something they just can't help when doing something they shouldn't be doing and I don't mean what society says is wrong, I mean when you make a commitment to someone then turn around and break that commitment they you are doing something wrong. Not to society but to the person you made the commitment to.

Considering I believe we are the ones in control of choosing who we love and don't then I'd say yes you can love 1,2,3 or more at one time if you so choose.

I don't really consider it wrong if all involved agree to it but if they aren't or you are lying to get what you want then that is where it is wrong.

Also while it is still a choice there are differences in the type of commitment you will have from one person to the next. I don't consider love an emotion because if it was then it would change and be up and down. It isn't supposed to be that way. It's supposed to be steady and consistent. Originally Posted by Eccie Addict
WOW Really??? So we choose who we fall in love with? So I guess that also would mean we could choose to NOT love someone! I wish I new where that switch was! LOL
hhmmm....not but he is in top 5....
Burk??? Originally Posted by Still Looking
Eccie Addict's Avatar
WOW Really??? So we choose who we fall in love with? So I guess that also would mean we could choose to NOT love someone! I wish I new where that switch was! LOL Originally Posted by Still Looking
I don't believe you just "fall in love"...... I believe you can get all warm and fuzzy over someone, feel strongly attracted to someone, but that is not love IMO. IMO love is an unconditional commitment you make to someone.
burkalini's Avatar
I have had the true love of my life and now I can fall in love for hour, a day, a week however long it works. Women truly are the best and worst things in life. When they are hot and sweet it's great and when..... well you know the rest.
I most definitely think we are capable of loving more than one at a time, perhaps one is more intense than the other. We can fall in love whilst at the same time falling out of love with another.

I've found myself in a situation before where I was with someone, but was in a constant state of confusion and pain. I loved him and knew what he could have been for me, knew I could make him happy, if only he'd opened up completely. After a while he turned into the enemy, the one who hurt me the most, and by means of survival I wanted to conquer this feeling. And often asking myself how I let it go this far, but we tend to paint a pretty picture of ones we love don't we?... So I ended up meeting another guy, he was really great, and I fell for him, but unfortunately that relationship didn't work out because the entire time, and for fucked up reasons I still loved the one before him...I was torn between the two of them for quite some time.

The problem with mainstream society is that love is looked at as something that has a “cap” or can “run out”. Turns out, you can (and most do) love more than one person with all the intensity you want. In fact, the more people you practice loving, the more capacity you have to love. It’s just a matter of respecting each other’s needs and wants (and using your limited time wisely – something that DOES have a cap), and getting a fucking handle on jealousy and fear...

But then what do I know, I'm a total spastic when it comes to love...
KelseyKisses's Avatar
Might I also add on a different note..That men and women alike can have sex and separate love from it..What I cannot understand is why mainly women cannot understand men are capable of that..Just because a guy pokes it doesn't mean love..Sex is sex!
@Valerie

Nicely said!!! Finally, something we both agree on.
  • MrGiz
  • 02-20-2012, 08:46 AM
@ Valerie. . . Nicely said , indeed! * Agreed!

I think you've pretty much nailed it.... at least , as far as our mindsets work! * We could be spaz-mates!
I don't think anyone truly understands it...
I think you can definitely love more than one person.
There are also different types of love. The way I love my kids, vs the way I love my SO, vs the way I love my friends.
I also think you can be in love with more than one person. I am guilty of falling in love with a provider. I don't think I love my SO any less because of it.
I guess love is complicated. I don't claim to understand it very well. Originally Posted by TheDoc
Still Looking's Avatar
I don't believe you just "fall in love"...... I believe you can get all warm and fuzzy over someone, feel strongly attracted to someone, but that is not love IMO. IMO love is an unconditional commitment you make to someone. Originally Posted by Eccie Addict
I agree EA! But I think its a lot more than that! For me it has NEVER been a choice!
Eccie Addict's Avatar
So you love everyone?
Still Looking's Avatar
So you love everyone? Originally Posted by Eccie Addict
Nothing of the sort! I'm saying the few ladies I fell in love with were not by choice! I couldn't help myself!

When you find yourself always thinking about them, everyday even after years of being together. When you care more about them, than you do about yourself. When they stand by you, during the darkest of times. That’s not a choice.... that’s LOVE! Love happens!

Then they find somebody they like more than you, get an attorney, divorce your ass and you start hobbying! See it all works out! LOL

See money doesn't buy you LOVE, but it will get you laid!
I think its possible to be "in love" with two people.

Just depends on that person I guess and what draws them in.

Can't control the warm and fuzzies sometimes. :-( .