Cut a fart in front of her - and I mean one hellava stinky fart - and see how she reacts. Best done in a crowded elevator, so make it a loud one. Originally Posted by Sir Hardin Thickenothing says classless quite like rating your farts. No matter how rancid it is say "That's about a five". That will make sure she doesn't stick around for a 10!
- discretionaryincome
- 05-12-2010, 08:24 PM
- Ghosting
- 05-13-2010, 07:40 AM
there's an Adam Ant song in here somewhere (yes I'm carbon dating myself)
- Baloney Pony
- 05-13-2010, 09:38 AM
Howdy, Folks!
Ask her if she has a job and if so, if she makes enough to support both of you along with supporting your frequent trips to Vegas and the investments you'll be making there.
If she says, "Yes," sorry - it will be near impossible to annoy this woman.
As a last resort, I recommend marriage - I understand that's guaranteed to work.
Ask her if she has a job and if so, if she makes enough to support both of you along with supporting your frequent trips to Vegas and the investments you'll be making there.
If she says, "Yes," sorry - it will be near impossible to annoy this woman.
As a last resort, I recommend marriage - I understand that's guaranteed to work.
- rekcaSxT
- 05-13-2010, 09:39 AM
Howdy, Folks!Very nice...
Ask her if she has a job and if so, if she makes enough to support both of you along with supporting your frequent trips to Vegas and the investments you'll be making there.
If she says, "Yes," sorry - it will be near impossible to annoy this woman.
As a last resort, I recommend marriage - I understand that's guaranteed to work. Originally Posted by Baloney Pony
- whatsupagain
- 05-13-2010, 12:29 PM
Err... you could tell her that you are just not that into her? Call me crazy, but that seems to work most of the time. : )
- Miss Sophie Bella
- 05-13-2010, 01:13 PM
Invite her to have a doubles session with us.
- Sexy Roxanne
- 05-13-2010, 06:03 PM
Or if she's not a provider...in the morning when you wake up to leave early, leave some cash on the night stand and tell thanks for last night!
- ztonk
- 05-14-2010, 08:15 AM
Thanks for making me laugh this morning. You guys and gals are hilarious!
- 78704
- 05-14-2010, 06:56 PM
I was thinking about a couple of horrible experiences, dates losing their tempers standing and screaming in a restaurant, but, realistically, at your very worst you can't possibly aspire to being as insufferable as me.
There was the vegetarian at the Japanese restaurant anecdote... made her cry so hard the waitress got protective of her and we had to leave.
There was the vegetarian at the Japanese restaurant anecdote... made her cry so hard the waitress got protective of her and we had to leave.
- Guest120311-2
- 05-14-2010, 07:35 PM
I was thinking about a couple of horrible experiences, dates losing their tempers standing and screaming in a restaurant, but, realistically, at your very worst you can't possibly aspire to being as insufferable as me.Your either a really bad date (joke) or need to date more stable women !
There was the vegetarian at the Japanese restaurant anecdote... made her cry so hard the waitress got protective of her and we had to leave. Originally Posted by 78704
Ztonk, you've got a keeper there! Y'all have fun!
Tess
- 78704
- 05-14-2010, 08:29 PM
Double date at a Japanese restaurant, male friend refers offhand to a culinary practice. I shush him. My date asks me what we're referring her, I tell her she doesn't want to know. She insists, I tell her. Her eyes well up, tears stream down her face, she chokes out through her sobs, "How do you even know about this? Who could ever do such a thing?" and so on. Fortunately we are bright enough to stop answering questions, but it was a memorable scene. Great office anecdote, too; female colleague consensus was that it was All My Fault.
- Guest060211-3
- 05-14-2010, 11:06 PM
Watch out for ignoring her, Z. It may backfire.
Tess has a good idea.
which reminds me
two buddies were out fishing one sunday afternoon, after a while one said to the other. you know i think i am going to divorce my wife, she has not spoken to me in about two months. after a pause the guy told his buddy, be careful good woman like that is hard to find.
peace
atx
Tess has a good idea.
which reminds me
two buddies were out fishing one sunday afternoon, after a while one said to the other. you know i think i am going to divorce my wife, she has not spoken to me in about two months. after a pause the guy told his buddy, be careful good woman like that is hard to find.
peace
atx
- SofaKingFun
- 05-15-2010, 04:13 AM
Hmm... interesting predicament you've managed to get yourself into ztonk.
I'd suggest, preferably mid-sentence, that you drop to the carpet, lift your feet, and start dragging your ass around by your hands. When she asks what's wrong; which she probably will; tell her that you've developed an uncontrollable ass-itch and that you thinck you've got worms.
Hope this helps.
Regards,
SKF
______________________________ _
I'd suggest, preferably mid-sentence, that you drop to the carpet, lift your feet, and start dragging your ass around by your hands. When she asks what's wrong; which she probably will; tell her that you've developed an uncontrollable ass-itch and that you thinck you've got worms.
Hope this helps.
Regards,
SKF
______________________________ _
- Spacemtn
- 05-15-2010, 09:36 AM
Hmm... interesting predicament you've managed to get yourself into ztonk.
I'd suggest, preferably mid-sentence, that you drop to the carpet, lift your feet, and start dragging your ass around by your hands. When she asks what's wrong; which she probably will; tell her that you've developed an uncontrollable ass-itch and that you thinck you've got worms.
Hope this helps.
Regards,
SKF
______________________________ _
I would pay to watch that take place!!!!
- ThrillBill88
- 05-15-2010, 10:50 PM
File for divorce.