Question for the guys about manipulation?

Aw, well there goes THAT fantasy!

Couldn't you have led me on (or manipulated me) just a LITTLE?!

AIG exec...THAT is funny!

LonesomeDove and vnurse,

I call that the Billy Jack syndrome. For those of you who haven't been around long enough, Billy Jack was a movie character back in the early '70's. Billy Jack was 'slow to anger', but once you pushed him far enough, watch out 'cause he'd kick your ass. Originally Posted by warlock

Yep, I remember Billy Jack and I had not thought about it like you wrote warlock but you are right. I am not one that angers quickly but when I do... Attachment 2876

LD, Sag's and Capricorns actually have very similar traits in MY opinion. We may be very much alike!
... Originally Posted by vnurse

I unfortunately don't know all that much about the different astrological signs. I know what I think is enough but I don't know what Sag's and Cap's have in common or not. I am sure there is something we would find interesting...

I realized some time in college that 80-90% of the girls I'd dated, been interested in, or spent time with in a non-friend capacity were just using me for one thing or another: a car, help with something, a workhorse to move things, or just someone to keep her occupied on the weekends when she didn't have a real date. Sometimes it was still fun and worthwhile afterward, most of the time it wasn't. I think I've gotten much better at avoiding that type of manipulation and don't put up with it when I spot it.

I don't mind being used so long as I've got a good idea of the "terms" as it were and can tell up front what I'm getting myself into. That's one thing about the hobby: sure I'm being used, but I'm using you ladies in turn and we're clear on what, how much, and even why, so there's no sense of manipulation (most of the time at least). If she starts to cross that line, I can just move my business on without all the messy interaction there would be if she was a part of "real life".

It can be kinda funny watching it happen to somebody else on a small scale though. Was out at a pub/restaurant place with some friends the other night, and this one attractive chick kept coming by, flirting with my buddy, and getting him to buy her drinks. Apparently she'd been doing this the last time or two he'd been there too, and he was a bit smitten. Eventually spotted her pulling the same hustle on a new batch of guys after he seemed tapped out for the night. I ribbed him most of the rest of the night about it (How many drinks have you bought her tonight? "4 or 5" $20 says you don't even have her number. "No..." And now she's with those dudes at the bar? "...yeah..." $100 says she'll never sleep with you. "...dammit") and hopefully saved him a lot of future cash and heartache in the process.

warlock, yes, I remember Billy Jack very well and that is a correct description.

LonesomeDove, I am sure we would find interesting thing we have IN COMMON too!

I'm not asking about massage here either.

Many years ago I worked with some young girls who had various clients that showered them with lavish gifts, bought them cars, boob jobs, etc, etc. If there were something (ANYTHING) that they needed or wanted, they would sweet talk these guys into providing said items for them (no pun intended).

My question is this, have you gentlemen ever been in a position where you either FELT like you were being manipulated or that you KNEW you were being manipulated? Either way, do you stay in the "relationship" or do you move on down the road? How would you handle it? Originally Posted by vnurse

Vnurse...
NPI to the guys but come on be-for-real. These guys have manipulated some many sweethearts. That the poor girls(me included) found another avenue like Marring for money to curve their appetite for men. I have had unknown clients follow me, find me @ car washes, bars ect. (giving cars from day 1, galleria shopping spree ect.) to only be just the next client that I would find online. Like they had me pin-pointed.

I'm just in to playing the mind game because they told me massage therapy is the same thing manipulation.

These boards have open doors that should have never been open.
Your bedroom (hotel room, studio) doors are private. So if you ask me the manipulators are the guys who use the board as leverage. (Either way bad or good.)

Hey but who am I

All of us have "manipulated" someone at some point in our lives (parents, b/f's, g/f's, husbands, wives, etc...) and it doesn't matter why we did it. It was manipulation. I don't mind being manipulated so long as what I'm getting out of it is, in my mind, worth it. I've had girlfriends who "manipulated" (their impression) me for one reason or another. Usually my "worth it" is a sex-oriented relationship where I can get sucked or fuck her little butt in exchange for whatever she needs (once it was use of a car for about half-a-year, another time it was a place to live while she got back on her feet (figuratively speaking since I liked that g/f flat on her back!) but neither of them felt like giving up some pussy or getting a load shot in your mouth was a big deal.

Is asking me to pay a woman $250 in order for her to have the privilege of having sex with me manipulation? Me thinks yes - cuz I can never refuse a deal like that!

Vnurse...
NPI to the guys but come on be-for-real. These guys have manipulated some many sweethearts. That the poor girls(me included) found another avenue like Marring for money to curve their appetite for men. I have had unknown clients follow me, find me @ car washes, bars ect. (giving cars from day 1, galleria shopping spree ect.) to only be just the next client that I would find online. Like they had me pin-pointed.

I'm just in to playing the mind game because they told me massage therapy is the same thing manipulation.

These boards have open doors that should have never been open.
Your bedroom (hotel room, studio) doors are private. So if you ask me the manipulators are the guys who use the board as leverage. (Either way bad or good.)

Hey but who am I Originally Posted by Nina A. Ross

Well manipulation is, what it is... so lets enjoy it? *shaking my head*

There was a girl who was "friends" with a hobbyist I was dating who took him for quite a chunk. She lived with him for free (she didn't work at all when she lived with him), he gave her a car, he took her out to strip clubs, and assorted other gifts. She had also done this with other guys, whom she referred to as her "bitches". Even when these guys were aware of the others and what she was doing, they continued.

By the way, when I moved in with the same guy, he charged me rent. Silly me! I guess I should have treated him like shit, too

Another hobbyist was manipulated by a girl - he gave her money, and even bailed her out of jail. For years, he continued to work on her website, saying it was "for fun".

I find it amazing how some of these girls use "magic pixie dust", when others of us work hard for what we have. There are the ones who always asking for assistance, and I'm sure they are getting it.

I feel fortunate to have realized early the need for education, so I can support myself, and do the hobby just for fun.

Hobbyiest and providers are both trying to get thru these tuff times. Work together, treat each other right and we will all get thru this in great shape.

V ..You sound like your not to keen about ladies manipulating their clients

exnykr...I don't like to see ANYONE get manipulated (or taken or used). I suppose you could call it many things.

I have known many gentlemen who did countless things for girls over and over and seemingly got nothing in return and if that is what they want to do then more power to them.

What I HATE to hear is an amazingly sweet guy who gets asked for helped then ends up being used and is out $$$s that he probably couldn't afford in the first place.

I really don't like to see people taken advantage of...ANY people!

rn sweetie makes a VERY good point! I'm glad that I got my education as well so I can do this because I WANT to not because I HAVE to!

My question is this, have you gentlemen ever been in a position where you either FELT like you were being manipulated or that you KNEW you were being manipulated? Either way, do you stay in the "relationship" or do you move on down the road? How would you handle it?

People (not just in relationships) have often tried to manipulate me, but for the most part, it has always worked out badly for the person trying to manipulate me. In general, the way I approach anything is to take what is told to me at face value and see if the person delivers. If not, I assume I'm being manipulated and decide how much I'm willing to go along with something before calling a halt to things. In the meantime, I do whatever research is necessary to get the upperhand while giving the person some additional opportunity to follow through. In other words, give a person enough rope and he/she will hang him/herself if you help tie the noose by pretending to be oblivious to the manipulation. I have a real antipathy for people who do that sort of thing, so I consider any tactic that protects my interests to be fair game.

What I HATE to hear is an amazingly sweet guy who gets asked for helped then ends up being used and is out $$$s that he probably couldn't afford in the first place.

That happened to me when I first started hobbying. However, once I figured out what was going on, as per what I said above, I got repaid in the end and I really doubt she thought the experience was worth it.

I really don't like to see people taken advantage of...ANY people!

I don't either, so I don't mind making life hell for someone who tries to take advantage of me. I want to be naive and believe people, so it really pisses me off when someone forces me to sift through a lot of bullshit to discover the truth.

I'm not sure manipulated is the right word.
How about 6 mo. worth of rent @1500.00 per mo., going out to dinner 5 to 6 nights a week, car payments, cell phone bills, movies, went to Las Vegas 2 times for three nights at a time, spent $5000.00 gamblin each time, parties all most ever weekend.

Here's the sad part sex two times a week no matter what happened,
this went on and on. we would fight ever week about this not enough sex

Then after six mouths I wised up I got tired of fighting about the sex part so I put a stop to it, the rent, parties, going to Vegas, car payments, cell phone payments, everthing don't get me wrong the sex was good but two times a week I felt was more than enough sex for her and if she felt she needed sex four are five times a week then she would need to find somebody else for the sex and to spend her money on I was just to busy playing golf, going to tittie bars, going and visiting other friends that was out of work too, I gave her good sex two days a week what else did she want?

So now I have sex two days a mouth, pay my own rent, car payment, cell phone bill, and any thing else I want, and she can Not manipulate me anymore.

I fell dirty and used after this relationship I will stay single. I will make my own money some day.

I'm not sure manipulated is the right word.
How about 6 mo. worth of rent @1500.00 per mo., going out to dinner 5 to 6 nights a week, car payments, cell phone bills, movies, went to Las Vegas 2 times for three nights at a time, spent $5000.00 gamblin each time, parties all most ever weekend.

Here's the sad part sex two times a week no matter what happened,
this went on and on. we would fight ever week about this not enough sex

Then after six mouths I wised up I got tired of fighting about the sex part so I put a stop to it, the rent, parties, going to Vegas, car payments, cell phone payments, everthing don't get me wrong the sex was good but two times a week I felt was more than enough sex for her and if she felt she needed sex four are five times a week then she would need to find somebody else for the sex and to spend her money on I was just to busy playing golf, going to tittie bars, going and visiting other friends that was out of work too, I gave her good sex two days a week what else did she want?

So now I have sex two days a mouth, pay my own rent, car payment, cell phone bill, and any thing else I want, and she can Not manipulate me anymore.

I fell dirty and used after this relationship I will stay single. I will make my own money some day. Originally Posted by Hobbyfun

Well good luck.... maybe you will in-turn do the same for a nice lady who feels manipulation is great.