Married Man Guilt. Does it exist as a Hobbyist?

My wife suffered a spinal injury during our fourth year of marriage, the nerve damage caused atrophy of her reproductive organs. Our marriage became celibate at that time. We have been together for 36 years.

Since my wife can not perform sex, I so no reason for 'guilt'. Though I do prefer to be discrete, as I think it would be rude and un-gentlemanly to do otherwise. Originally Posted by RetiredSubmariner

Does she approve of you seeking hookers?

Of Course Not.
Everyone deserves to have Fun in Life though

If she had not gotten so damn particular about when, where and how often we didn’t ‘need to’ because we already did it once this week, I’d never have found the hobby and she would not now be living in a lonely one bedroom apartment at her age.
That is on her, not me.
If I don’t find it in your arms babe, I’ll find it where I can.
Ats jus me!

As dr. Lauren says—it’s a normal male thing to want a bj—the best place to find that is from a hooker—-he won’t fall in love that way.

Define guilt..... running home and telling what you did...... please....tried that in college with a girlfriend..spent next year chasing her back.

Root of the hobby maybe different for all but similar in outcome. We like the company we seek and if we had it at home.....well then it wouldn't be a hobby. Let's face it. We are sexual beings peeking at different levels and time tables. A woman may be into daily sex until she gets married....then what....leave her... no.....just don't get caught.

He maybe best provider....worse at sex.....leave him......no...find a BBC that can satisfy you while he paying bills.

We are all guilty of test driving even though we don't need.....does that mean we don't like, want, or have...?

I have been a great provider for my wife and family but my wife of 20 years has been a text book case of one who disavows this man's need for intimacy, sex, closeness and companionship. If it weren't for still raising a number of kids I'd have ended this a long time ago. I tired of begging for needs to be met and for feeling guilt for even having needs. I resent that she has taken the best years of my life and that it came to this. Still yes, I've had guilt since the first time I ventured out. Often its so bad it affects my ability to perform. I have come to accept that being here for my kids requires me to give up the relationship intimacy I so much want, and to settle for what else I can get an hour at a time. Thanks for asking the question.

Yowser. I see most of it is about her not wanting to and family responsibilities.

Im more on the "hey we don't have a connection and you oddest want it" So I am still going to live my live and fulfill most responsibilities because I want every one to be taken care of and good. But I am also going to have something for my self.

Just my thoughts.

Christ Jesus told his disciples that merely looking at a woman lustfully is committing adultery, because you have committed the act in your mind, and she is not your wife.

Therefore, there is not a single heterosexual man who has not committed adultery. Even as a virgin, you still commit adultery by watching porn, or looking at a nice ass while walking to your destination, or having a wet dream. The only solution is to castrate yourself, but as Christ said, not everyone can accept this. Indeed. The LORD advises celibacy over marriage, but is there a man who is strong enough? I certainly am not.

The first time there was some guilt. But like others have said a man has needs...just happens a good provider is worth her weight in gold.

If there's no bcd, there's no marriage.

I am in the "I love my wife but not getting what i need from home" i hobbied before i was married and when times got tough i went back to it.
i have been lucky to have found some GREAT providers that have kept me from going over the edge. with a couple being my sole providers for release for years on end, it made those sessions more than sex. we truly liked each other, but i loved my wife In the past i have traveled a lot for work and used that to keep the edge off. I am picky on who i see and spend time picking the right ones. I truly love my wife and when she found my hobby phone it almost killed both of us. i went a couple years without the hobby world and thus no sex or intimacy. i have now started back and with lessons learned i will be smarter.

i feel guilty everytime, not that i will get caught, but that i am selfish to need to fulfill my needs in a way that would hurt her.

its been over 12 years since we had relations, just after our son passed away it changed everything, except my love for her.

i disagree that without BCD its not a marriage. to me marriage is wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone regardless of how things have changed that your life would not be the same.... sex to me is not marriage.

I started by chance. It just happened one visit to an amp. I felt guilty but alive. The guilt part made me confess. We hadn't had sex in the last 15 years of out a 40 year marriage due to medical reasons. To my surprise she told me to continue but with rules. So now I hobby, with rules, and no more guilt. I don't tell and she doesn't ask. She just wants me to come home safe, love only her, and be with her forever. Now I'm able to have sex and really enjoy it even after the visit to the provider.

Barry has a pass from the wife while treedagain has not received a pass from the wife ... that is a monumental difference.

There's only one thing better than pussy, strange pussy!

I could not be in a marriage where each partner did not make an effort to quench the needs of the other. Sounds like a break down in communication and just plain effortless existence between two people that may have loved each other at one time. Hand to you guys for sticking it out in a bad situation and doing what you think is the most valuable even if it is wrong.