Out of circulation

Always the cynic Vkmaster lol. An interesting thread you started Chuck. What could be on your mind? There does seem to be a few of these threads lately. Stacy thanks for your refreshing honest answer. I think I heard it happens from time to time lol. How could it not, it's all part of the human condition............catnipdip per good to see you post,the devil is in the details isn't . Originally Posted by growler

Well, I guess nothing is on my mind now. I got the answer to my question. I would defer to SOTF's sage advice, she is spot on.

Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all....with a long set of asterisks.

If I didn't already have a family, I'd have easily fallen head over heels for Ari. I bet I'm not alone on that one!

i fall in love for a hour every time and have a secret friend forever 9untill she falls off the radar) .

i pay them to go away and not call and bug me when im with my wife......

pay as you go and you never owe

or just to be my hourly girlfriend/wife/mistress/etc.....

If I didn't already have a family, I'd have easily fallen head over heels for Ari. I bet I'm not alone on that one! Originally Posted by Johngalt0316

(blushing)....I fall in love all of the time, out of respect I keep my boundaries. My hope is that if you have ever experienced my heart...you know this about me.

VK said it right.

I cherish the friendships I've made in this hobby. Fellow provider and hobbyist alike. I've cried on the shoulder of more than a few friends - who also happened to be clients. It is possible to care about the people we interact with, and still keep it within the defined boundaries of a p4p relationship. In fact, I wouldn't have it any other way.

It is also true that a few lucky souls have found honest to God real love in this hobby. Almost as many as have successfully captured a Crumple Horned Snorcack without blowing themselves up. But it does happen.

However, if after receiving all of this sage advice you still hope to find love in the hobby, remember a few rules:

1. Keep the big head engaged. At all times.
2. Put a padlock on your wallet. Bring only the donation, leave only the donation.
3. Its real when and only when she tells you to stop bringing an envelope. Originally Posted by SinsOfTheFlesh

It does happen. We are human after all and have feelings. This profession is often compared to other professions when subjects like professionalism and rates are discussed. In spite of the fact that this is a business, it is still a business unlike any other. The services provided are far more personal and intimate than your hairdresser or your accountant. Well, at least I hope they are.

Given the intimate nature of this occupation, it is inevitable that emotions get involved from time to time. How the two people involved handle their feelings is what matters most. Dating in the hobby has a tendency go sideways, and when it goes sideways, it usually goes REALLY sideways. On the other hand, there are very rare success stories of relationships that began as client/provider and blossomed into serious lasing relationships.

In the time that I've been doing this, there have been two occasions where a client became more than a client. In the first situation, there was never any expectation that a serious relationship would develop, but we had a fling that stretched out over several years and I still miss the hell out of him sometimes. The second situation, I gave serious consideration to retiring. Fortunately, I decided we needed to date longer before I made any drastic changes. Thank goodness or I'd have been on the list of the "I"m retiring, surprise I'm not" girls, because in the end it didn't work out. LOL

But here is the point I can't stress enough - don't go looking for it. If you are asking questions about romance, I hope that is not an indication that you already have your next ex-girlfriend in mind. Our job is to create the fantasy that you are the king of the world, to pamper you and make you feel as though you are the only guy on the planet - well, for an hour. If we are good at what we do, then it can be easy to mistake doing our job for our emotions.

Here is the litmus test. You will know she is genuinely interested in you outside the hobby when she stops taking your money. Real girlfriends don't hand their boyfriends a bill. In the two situations I mentioned above, once we progressed beyond provider/client, I never took another penny from either of them. Not for gas money, nor to top off a phone card, or anything else. The hobby is a need based relationship, hence money is involved. Relationships are and should be emotion based. Be careful not to confuse the two. Originally Posted by SinsOfTheFlesh

Very well explained SinsOfTheFlesh. Yes, relationships can happen between a provider and a client, but be very careful not to confuse love and caring with selfishness and greed by either party involved. As SinsOfTheFlesh states "it's only real when she tells you to stop brining an envelope." Both provider(s) and client(s) have been deceived in the hobby. Here are some examples. A provider tells a client that she loves, cares and wants to be with him, but she is always asking for money for all kinds of "emergencies and urgent needs" along with asking for money for food, utilities, rent, car payment, magical water to water her invisible Chia Pet, etc., etc., etc. The provider then says that if you really love and care for her, then you will give her the money, otherwise she will have to keep seeing other clients for money and feels guilty because she feels it's cheating on you.

Then there will be one guilt trip followed by another. The provider will say she loves you, needs money and if you don't give it to her, then she says that she doesn't know if she can go on living anymore. Another one is after you give the provider the agreed upon amount, the provider will say she loves you, you are the only one she is seeing and wants to "borrow" additional money from you and promises to pay it back. Unless you are willing to just give the provider the money, then don't do it. It's nice to think that you are the white knight and are saving the princess from the evils of the world. However, there are lots of man-eaters out there who will prey upon a person's kindness and take advantage of it.

This goes the same for the clients. They have been known to take advantage of mainly newbie providers by first giving them money, saying they love them and promise them the earth, moon, planets and stars if they can "be exclusive" and the provider not see anyone else along with not giving the provider any more money. The client keeps seeing other providers and isn't helping or being exclusive with the newbie provider. It's all about getting on the merry-go-round for free.

I've had friends who were either providers and or clients who have had this happen to them. Heck, this has even happened to me on both sides. When I was much younger, I used to work as a Manager on Duty at a hotel, primarily at night which does not pay all that great. I met quite a few providers and clients who say they want to be your girlfriend and "wanted to be exclusive." You learn (sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly) that most providers just want your money and the "love and exclusiveness stops as soon as you stop giving them money." Most clients will say and promise anything because they want your attention and affection during the time they are in town without paying for it because they are lonely and are not getting the attention they want at home and the ”love and exclusiveness" stops just as soon as they leave town.

The other thing is jealousy. Clients and providers will sometimes run into someone they have seen professionally in the past. So, it takes great patience and understanding by both parties in the relationship to be able to accept and put the past behind them without hurt feelings. Yes, a relationship can happen between a provider and a client, but both should proceed with caution. They need to make sure that they are calm, open minded, make mature and intelligent decisions along with understand all of the facets involved with this relationship and can accept each other’s past and are willing to put it behind them.

I agree with the asterisks lol, Truest post of this thread.

For me personally.... I have a client who has just ruined me (sexually) for anyone else. He is just that good and knows all the right spots. Too bad he is already taken!!

Very well explained SinsOfTheFlesh. Yes, relationships can happen between a provider and a client, but be very careful not to confuse love and caring with selfishness and greed by either party involved. As SinsOfTheFlesh states "it's only real when she tells you to stop brining an envelope." Both provider(s) and client(s) have been deceived in the hobby. Here are some examples. A provider tells a client that she loves, cares and wants to be with him, but she is always asking for money for all kinds of "emergencies and urgent needs" along with asking for money for food, utilities, rent, car payment, magical water to water her invisible Chia Pet, etc., etc., etc. The provider then says that if you really love and care for her, then you will give her the money, otherwise she will have to keep seeing other clients for money and feels guilty because she feels it's cheating on you.

Then there will be one guilt trip followed by another. The provider will say she loves you, needs money and if you don't give it to her, then she says that she doesn't know if she can go on living anymore. Another one is after you give the provider the agreed upon amount, the provider will say she loves you, you are the only one she is seeing and wants to "borrow" additional money from you and promises to pay it back. Unless you are willing to just give the provider the money, then don't do it. It's nice to think that you are the white knight and are saving the princess from the evils of the world. However, there are lots of man-eaters out there who will prey upon a person's kindness and take advantage of it.

This goes the same for the clients. They have been known to take advantage of mainly newbie providers by first giving them money, saying they love them and promise them the earth, moon, planets and stars if they can "be exclusive" and the provider not see anyone else along with not giving the provider any more money. The client keeps seeing other providers and isn't helping or being exclusive with the newbie provider. It's all about getting on the merry-go-round for free.

I've had friends who were either providers and or clients who have had this happen to them. Heck, this has even happened to me on both sides. When I was much younger, I used to work as a Manager on Duty at a hotel, primarily at night which does not pay all that great. I met quite a few providers and clients who say they want to be your girlfriend and "wanted to be exclusive." You learn (sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly) that most providers just want your money and the "love and exclusiveness stops as soon as you stop giving them money." Most clients will say and promise anything because they want your attention and affection during the time they are in town without paying for it because they are lonely and are not getting the attention they want at home and the ”love and exclusiveness" stops just as soon as they leave town.

The other thing is jealousy. Clients and providers will sometimes run into someone they have seen professionally in the past. So, it takes great patience and understanding by both parties in the relationship to be able to accept and put the past behind them without hurt feelings. Yes, a relationship can happen between a provider and a client, but both should proceed with caution. They need to make sure that they are calm, open minded, make mature and intelligent decisions along with understand all of the facets involved with this relationship and can accept each other’s past and are willing to put it behind them. Originally Posted by luvitwet692

or

Here is the really bad part. This was my first time to "pay to play." Once bitten, twice shy now. If this is what my friend of a friend considers "hot," then he has some really different preferences than I do. Originally Posted by luvitwet692

Which one is it? Lots of experiences for years or first time a month ago?

I had a SB/SD relationship with a woman recently. We were [are] both attached [NOT to each other....lol]. We met at least once a week for about 18 months, and an emotional and intellectual connection developed over time, in spite of the fact that she was 20 years my junior. We met sometimes a couple times a week, and just had drinks, or lunch.....or a trip to the Nelson. Eventually her hubby got his marching orders [tranferred to Atlanta], and she just about blew up her marriage in order to stay here......but, after talking her through the pros/cons she capitulated and decided to go ahead and move to Atlanta with him.........we still are friends, and get together when she comes back to visit, a couple times a year.....but, its moved back to the more physical type of relationship.....which is not bad cause she is a cutie-patootie......

or



Which one is it? Lots of experiences for years or first time a month ago? Originally Posted by Redwolf

Until recently, I had never paid to play. When I worked in a hotel, providers and clients would "tip" me for referrals to each other. I got to know quite a few of them and found out how things really were in the business.