Random Thoughts

Things I don't understand:

Get a text (or DM, PM, whatever)

person: hi
me: hey!
person: <crickets>

Well, I guess they just wanted to say hello, then. Originally Posted by SpankyJ

My life on dating websites:

Them: Hi
Me: Hey, how are you doing today? or some variant of it usually much longer and more detailed if I am interested
Them: <crickets>

The internet dating sites have created the FOMO effect for women that are mostly seeking validation that they are still attractive after being dumped by their former male counterparts. It's all fucking ego boosting and shit gets old fast.

Why I have basically given up regular dating and attempting to get laid the old fashioned way. It just takes too damn much time and effort for the horrible payoff of sex with lady my age.

I can spend about near the same amount of cash, less headache, less small talk and get laid anytime I want by much prettier, sexier, young ladies. at this age who in their right mind wants to get into another relationship...Fuck that noise!

I hate knowing I've offended someone but not knowing how or why.

I should really get in bed immediately after taking my nightly sleep aide. Apparently last night the last webpage I pulled up on my phone was "how to become a volunteer fire fighter." I've never had any desire to be a firefighter, although I do like the big stripper poles they have in fire stations.

Did you know that "?!" has a name?

I now feel like a next level grammar and punctuation Nazi.

Did you know that "?!" has a name?

I now feel like a next level grammar and punctuation Nazi. Originally Posted by Ginger Doll

Lol! I like it. Wonder if it plays in Scrabble / Words With Friends.

I do like the big stripper poles they have in fire stations. Originally Posted by Vannah

Ha ha, classic!

When the new roundabout confuses you, just stop and ask for directions!

No delicious scone, I'm not going to eat you. Stop tempting me.

No delicious scone, I'm not going to eat you. Stop tempting me. Originally Posted by SpankyJ

I had this conversation with my ice cream last night... but the ice cream won.

I had this conversation with my ice cream last night... but the ice cream won. Originally Posted by Ginger Doll

I often lose the ice cream conversations too, but they go more like this:

Ice Cream: Eat me!
Brain: You know you're lactose intolerant. Don't do it.
Mouth: lol
Stomach: I've made a huge mistake

With ice cream I often make the mistake of saying I'm only going to have one spoonful out of the container so there is no need to get a bowl out. We all know what happens from there.

Why do cats spy on you when you're in the bathroom?

Why do cats spy on you when you're in the bathroom? Originally Posted by Ginger Doll

They're wondering why they poop in a box and you poop on that thing.

Hot tubs are nice till random people I don't know come in

I LOVE chicken in a biskit crackers!!