Kissing?

This has been a challenge for me--anyone else had trouble? Any advice? Originally Posted by 3daygetaway

What is your challenge again? Trouble with what? Tribbles?

Sorry I drifted off fucking Mila Kunis and was wondering if she'd be a screamer, moaner, or just fake her way through it ...

mmm....Mila!

The challenge is talking about what you like during sex, especially with your SO.

The challenge is talking about what you like during sex, especially with your SO. Originally Posted by 3daygetaway

I answered that before somewhere. Same answer: YES,
I would like to have sex with my SO, can't think past that,
one giant step at a time...

Oh 3day, you're fixin' to get me chatty. I think I'd be better at shutting up if I wasn't such a fast typist, but whatever. And either I'm completely losing it or you've edited down your initial confessional so I sound more crazy for being so chatty. I don't care, but just wanted to throw that possible detail out there to the eye-rollers. So, three things!

Vocal Partners
I should probably clarify my previous statements about vocal partners. I completely empathize with your shyness to talk dirty during the deed. Sometimes it flows naturally, sometimes the gin does the talking and I make even myself blush, but usually it's takes some effort and I understand why it's uncomfortable. I asked a bone buddy of mine once "how does that big hard cunt feel?" And it was awkward when there wasn't any laughter and it made me self conscious, which is a terrible thing to feel while you're rolling in the sheets. It's fun to talk dirty in bed, but it's not something that I do most of the time.

So! Vocal partners. I think "communicative partners" would have been a better way of saying what I said. So communicative partners are guys who change their breathing, moan a bit, use their hands to encourage good behavior, make eye contact, and even talk to you a bit. Damn a mumbled "shit, baby" and an open mouth sharp inhale with eye contact when I plunge deep gets me every time. Guh. Lots of men just sort of lay there, though and I'm tempted to bite a bit just to see if they're even awake. Quite simply, it's hard to know how to please someone when they aren't showing signs of pleasure. I've had my jaw hit the floor when some guys have rebooked with me simply because I didn't realize that they enjoyed any of the BCD time due to their being uncommunicative. But...turns out they did...I guess?

On pleasing your SO
I am much better at blowjobs than boyfriends so I don't have much input on this one. I simply wanted to say that it's nice to see that you're thinking of ways to improve your sex life at home and looking to spice up your marriage to make it a warmer place for the two of you. Or something.

On dirty talk
The most fulfilling sexual relationships I've been in have included lots and lots of conversation about sex. Not exclusively dirty talk, but candid conversations about kinks, sexual histories, and open dialogue about past and future romps...and a filthy email or text when either of us feels especially horny or prolific. Beyond discovering what makes your partner tick by reading her input and seeing what she responds to, it's a useful tool in discovering what makes you tick as well. You'll start noticing themes in what gets you off when you take the time and energy to dissect it for someone else. A j/o journal might actually be something I should start pushing for my prude friends.

I'm sure you can start out safely with a text or email after a particularly good romp with the SO. Something simple along the lines of "I can still taste you on my lips and it's awfully distracting" would be pretty easy, no? Or even a simpler "I can barely smell your perfume on me but it's been keeping me on edge all afternoon"...or even a "this may seem silly, but I've been replaying the image of you on your knees from last night in my head all day." I think you'd be best off if you concentrated on stroking her ego. Make her feel wanted and desired and she'll want you back (assuming that her drive isn't low for some non-sexual reason). And it'd be a good way to test her tolerance for flirting/talking dirty in a non face-to-face way where you can be a little more honest and a lot less shy.

Or couples read something dirty -- think 50 Shades of Gray, although not that because it's dumb. Maybe it'll get y'all hot and then you can sort of talk about which details specifically get your motor running. Once again, through email isn't a bad idea. Tell her you heard the idea from wherever and wanted to know if she'd be into it.

Ummm....then if you want to try dirty talk in person, I'd say try vanilla sweet talk during making out or throughout the day and see how comfortable it is. Once again, telling her she smells great while you go in for a kiss on the neck is nice. Grabbing her ass while y'all are cooking dinner and telling her it looks great today, blah blah. I think that's probably another good starter to both stroke her ego and to make you more comfortable with sharing what gets you hot. Then in 6 months you'll hopefully have no trouble sneaking behind her and whispering how exactly you'd like to get her off some evening before bed. Push her hair aside and throw in a few light neck/shoulder kisses. If this works a few times, try telling her how you want her to get you off...

I'll shutup now.

Thanks for the advice; I'm gonna try texting her today!

I would like to have sex with my SO, can't think past that,
one giant step at a time... Originally Posted by fun2come

I'm in the same boat F2C! I suppose if that was happening with any regularity (and I could say something tacky about being turned on by her looks as well...or NOT but I will refrain from adding that) I probably wouldn't be here right now... Ah the good old days... about 24 years ago! Damn I'm depressed now.

Depressed? Nothing that a double with "pick your own 2 providers" won't fix. Not into 2, well you know best who you need then :-)))))))

Damn, now I am depressed...