Your approach is certainly more efficient, and may be better at getting their attention. And I'm sure it's more enjoyable for you.You are assuming quite a bit there my friend. How do you know that it is enjoyable for her. Don't you think she would prefer honest discourse? That takes effort from all parties. So maybe her approach is different from yours but how boring would that be if we all thought alike?
Originally Posted by Chevalier
Do you find that it also is more effective, in terms of persuading them to change their behavior? Because that was my point. My observations over a course of many years is that "blunt" turns into "harsh" turns into "nasty" -- and the target reciprocates in kind, escalating the anger. Originally Posted by ChevalierDon't you find it a bit ironic that your approach seems not to be changing any/all minds. Is that your objective? Or are you posting for the enjoyment of it?
Let's turn this buggy around.
If the goal is to feel good and inflict pain on the target, the approach you describe may be effective. If the goal is to improve the "environment" by driving the target away permanently, it may also be effective, at a short term cost to other members who dislike drama. But it may not be effective; often, those people are just spoiling for a fight themselves. And if the goal is to improve the "environment" not by driving the target away but by persuading the target to change their behavior, the approach you describe seems very unlikely to be effective. Or, as someone else once put it:
So, what is your goal? Originally Posted by Chevalier
What is your goal?
Do you want everyone to debate like you?
If not , do you want to make people feel inferior if they do not accept your premise?
I have found through the years that people are more tolerant of folks they like than those they do not. When you get folks going at each other that do not care for each other , no amount of debating etiquette is suffice.