Nice-Guy-Itis?

I have been known to coach a few.... Originally Posted by Tiffany Cums

Thanks for the offer Tiffany! I may have to take you up on it sometime!

If we had a term other than "Nice Guy" for these kinds of people, it wouldn't be as confusing. I suspect she uses it because many of the unassertive, hyper-insecure guys describe themselves as "Nice Guys" when they talk about the problem. But, again, it isn't courtesy and respect that makes someone a "Nice Guy" in the way she means. Originally Posted by Chevalier

I like to use the term wuss or wussy. It carries a negative connotation so the distinction is not so confusing. A wuss is a doormat. He will bend over backwards and do just about anything a woman tells him to do. He is needy, insecure, clingy, too available and will call you 3 times a day. He is constantly seeking approval from women and will buy flowers and go to expensive restaurants on first dates. Now, how many of you ladies would actually want to be with a man like this? These traits are such a turnoff that I wouldn't even want to be with a woman like this. Just like men want a challenge, women want the same thing.

It's not that women actually want to be with a jerk. They are simply attracted to the qualities and personality traits they possess -- the confidence, the ability to lead and take charge, the indifference. Like others have said, you don't have to be a jerk or an asshole to attract women. You need to take all the traits women find desirable in the jerks and combine them with your Nice Guy (not wussy) personality traits (polite, courteous, respectful, well-mannered). Add in humor and you have the perfect man (at least for most women).

Let's take the following scenario:

There is a stunningly beautiful woman sitting alone at the bar, a 10 by most standards. 5 men make a pass at her. Physically, they are identical (i.e. there is nothing appearance-wise that puts one man ahead of another). 4 of them tell her how beautiful she is or give her some kind of compliment and buy her a drink. The other man tells her all the mirrors in her house must be broken because her shoes don't quite match the dress she's wearing, and flashes a smile or a wink to let her know he's just teasing her. He then tells her to buy him a drink.

Which of these 5 men is she more inclined to be interested in? My guess is the guy that made fun of her shoes because:

A) he was different
B) he probably said something that no man has ever said to her before
and
C) the other 4 guys basically cut their balls off and handed them her

Okay, sorry for going on a tangent like that. It's just frustrating when I see people say that only abusive jerks can have success with women. Nice guys can attract women too. You just need to mold your personality a bit more to include the traits that are desirable to women. Now, if you told me wussies never have any success with women, I would agree with you 100%.

Of course, all of this is my opinion only. They are bits and pieces from what I have read and learned as well as experienced in my life as a bachelor.

The problem I've seen is that when they see the nice guy on the outside, they won't give him a chance to see the bad boy BCD. Catch 22? Originally Posted by DFW5Traveler

Depending on the woman it can be worse than just that. If you do act like a bad boy then they don't think of you as the long term material and they lock you into this stupid mind set that you are only short term material. Great if that is all you want.

Sometimes I have to wonder if women actually know what they want. Because, I like trying things out a lot just to see the reaction I get.

Example: I bought a set of beard clippers to make it easier on me shaving because I can destroy a razor in a heart beat. If I don't shave after it leaves me with the 1 day or late evening shadow look. I get far better response in that appearance than I ever do if I shave. All that mess about wanting a guy who is clean shaven - bunk.

If I act like I can live with out the woman and she means nothing or she is nothing special she will call me. If I act like I like her she will hardly be interested.

Even women who are more dominant tend to like the bad boy take charge maybe its the challenge of breaking them or seeing what happens. My ex fairly dominant but she climaxed the most when I tied her ass up and had my way with her in the bed room. But not all women are the same but it does seem to hold true for most.

I've placed personals on different sites and change them up in nature to see what type of response I get. Yea, bad boy wins hands down. Even on the LTR areas.