Even 'John's' have car trouble... but not like you think..

I was out junk yarding for junkers and found this.

What a find!!!! It should bring an hour with a cut rate provider after turning it into scrap metal. It turns out that the carbon fiber gauge overlay has no salvage value but the wheels were stolen off the car within minutes of getting to the yard. Probably on some pimp's BMW 3 series by now.

Come out this weekend to Randi B's Autowurld of Fine Cars for our best Halloween for Hoogars Festival~



Don't wait to check out our amazing specials! No credit? NO PROBLEM! No Trade in NO PROBLEM! No Pussy? (((now that could be a problem)))



Check out some of these pristine reconditioned Datsuns that are on my lot right now! Why drive a nice new dependable car when I can put you behind the wheel of a Classic Datsun?



That's right at Randi B's House of Fine Rice Burners, we can put you behind the wheel of a nifty Datsun truck like this one for 37.5 easy payments of a one hour session per payment!



Be the envy of all of your neighbor Hoogars by driving a classic!


What are you waiting for??? Come on down to Randi B's where if you got a snatch you can make a catch!

Come down this weekend as we celebrate Rare Italian Cars weekend. Dago fast, Dago far, and when Dago Flat, Dago Wop, Wop, Wop...

Check out the colored rotors on this amazing piece of Japanese craftsmanship...



So come out this weekend to Randi B's! Located under the bridge down by the river next to TS-SL's love van. Meet my son & experience what so many others have with the Randi & Son reach-around! See you this weekend!!

Come out this weekend to Randi B's Autowurld of Fine Cars for our best Halloween for Hoogars Festival~



Don't wait to check out our amazing specials! No credit? NO PROBLEM! No Trade in NO PROBLEM! No Pussy? (((now that could be a problem)))



Check out some of these pristine reconditioned Datsuns that are on my lot right now! Why drive a nice new dependable car when I can put you behind the wheel of a Classic Datsun?

Grow some balls and get y



That's right at Randi B's House of Fine Rice Burners, we can put you behind the wheel of a nifty Datsun truck like this one for 37.5 easy payments of a one hour session per payment!


Be the envy of all of your neighbor Hoogars by driving a classic!


What are you waiting for??? Come on down to Randi B's where if you got a snatch you can make a catch!

Come down this weekend as we celebrate Rare Italian Cars weekend. Dago fast, Dago far, and when Dago Flat, Dago Wop, Wop, Wop...

Check out the colored rotors on this amazing piece of Japanese craftsmanship...



So come out this weekend to Randi B's! Located under the bridge down by the river next to TS-SL's love van. Meet my son & experience what so many others have with the Randi & Son reach-around! See you this weekend!!

Originally Posted by Toyz

selling cars can be fun
work experiances...


Fun with the ladies at 90


still flying Lears at 90..



yeah selling cars just sucks

did I mention the $300 million?

enjoy this while I am down at Jorge's drinking beer and fixing tires

Randi this has been fun! I of course didn't realize you were a bazillionaire car czar!

Best wishes in your automotive future, but this joke has played itself out. I'm moving on to other fun things!

Long live Datsun! Truly the King of cars....

I just got the drive/ drag, or push trade in deal for your Gremlin and will put it toward the donation for a suitable Hoogar for Ralphey boy.

Someone who shares the the same condition as the Gremlin: Diminished Gluteal Syndrome, or DGS

What do a AMC Gremlin,
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Hank Hill,


and Miley Cyrus and a Chicken


have in common?

wait for it...

Here you go...


they're all missing their ass!

Do we have any providers here that fit this bill?

ToyZ it's been fun, not real fun, but fun.

I'm sorry it's over but I did get enough for the Gremlin from some retro college student to get Ralphey Boy a Fleshlight and a tube of lube. Sorry I wasn't there in the 70's when you bought the Gremlin to give you a tube of lube too but then again you probably didn't need it.

Guys, I just wanted to say "Thanks!" for not dragging my beloved 1970 Pinto into this conversation. (Hey, at least it wasn't susceptible to rear end explosions!)

The back end of the Gremlin sure tasted like ass!!!!!!!!! who says I couldn't catch the wheelchair speed of a gremlin and have it for lunch.

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I want you to know my Gremlin had a rated zero to sixty speed of "never gonna happen"...

I want you to know my Gremlin had a rated zero to sixty speed of "never gonna happen"... Originally Posted by Toyz

I was working on one of my junkers (see below) when a guy came by with a donkey pulling a half a car and wanted to know if he could give me $100 to take it off his hands. I told him that I wouldn't know what to do with the ass if he left it.
No, he said i don't want to get rid of the ass< He wanted to get rid of the car, nobody points and laughs at the ass.

I told he he had to deliver it to TOYZ in Austin TX and that he didn't have to pay either of us anything anything. I was thinking that ToyZ might offer him money so I told him to get what he could. He agreed then opened his pack and gave me a bottle of Pappy's Family Reserve and 2 glasses. He told me to drink that the remaining Pappy's and the other glass was for the guy in Austin as he was going to be ridiculed far and wide. I told him that that would be unfair, giving an imbecile a rust bucket that he sees as a rare Gremlin then spoiling the celebration with a 23 YO bottle of Pappy's that he might consider swill just didn't seam right.

so here is your new car and your empty bottle of Pappy's I tossed it in just before he left drunk with your car in tow.
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did you notice the 2 tone interior even that guys white Mercedes R172 didn't have such sporty seats!!!

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Good luck, I know it's an upgrade from your 74 as this is an original 1970 car. Enjoy the fumes from the bottle as it's the most valuable gift I am sending you. Good luck polishing this turd but I am sure with an overlaid carbon fiber dash and a set of color coded cross drilled and slotted rotors it will fill your needs and desire just fine. Don't mention those low dollar skank hoogars you're so famous for scouting out.

And here is one of my newest pieces of junk (as you call them) which I salvaged from the junk pile and breathed new life into that should be ready to cruise next week. I painted it HOOGER RED just for you! you can see i am wet sanding and polishing before putting the bling back on.

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LOL. You're really working too hard to extend the joke my friend...it's run its course. For the record I was just fucking with you on the rebuild junkers thing. It actually sounds fun. I draw the line with changing the oil on my motorcycle...

Happy Hollowweenie!

I just stumbled upon the car sitting outside one of the shops that does paint work for me thought i would share lol

I going out for halloweenie as someone who gives a shit!!!!

Which one of you drives this sweet ride?

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Close-up of the bumper sticker.

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the sticker gives it away it's tranny SLz ride, he bought it from Toyz, you can see the drilled and slotted color coded brake rotors in the picture and I bet the gauges have carbon fiber decals on them too!!!!!!!! it used to have a Mercedes star painted on the hood but it peeled off like the graphics!!!

Hey it beats the Gremlin!!!

I'm having the same issues, but I'm a provider.. man, car maintainence can be a bitch! Originally Posted by WestCoastWendii

On my first attempt to see Carrina, I had to cancel the night before because my car was hit from behind, and I couldn't get a rental in time. She was gracious as I called about 14 hrs before appt. Made the second attempt a couple days later.