kinksters!

I found this in another thread "Human Sex Map"... Wow, some freaky shit out there...

http://www.humansexmap.com/ Originally Posted by Elephant

Love it.

Fine. I'll bite.

"Kinksters" is an awfully broad category. For those out there who are scared and/or put off by non-vanilla play, don't be. No one is going to Domme-rape you. More than half of my clientele see me exclusively for domination services. Sometimes our play centers around pain, bondage and humiliation, but there's also tons of toys, role play, power exchange and sensory play you may have never even dreamed existed (or maybe you have and you're just embarrassed to admit it ). It's not that vanilla sex isn't fun. Vanilla happens to be one of my favorite flavors. But to me, enjoying only one set of sexual activities is like enjoying only a single genre of music or wanting the same thing for dinner every single night or never taking a trip outside the town where you were raised. Exploration and diversity rule my erotic universe.

D/s is, for me, all about what's happening in the mind. There's something deeply exciting about surprising and thrilling your sub through many means of torture, teasing, toying and manipulating them. Many, many people love to have a sensual tyrant in the bedroom and to give up all their control and decision making to another. Domination doesn't have to mean at all either. It often turns out to be very intimate and sweet. I do find that the level of planning and the energy put into those sessions is much more than that of a GFE session, especially if extensive equipment or costumes are involved.

There are two things that make a good Dom/me. The first is responsibility: for your safety and theirs, for the scene, for setting boundaries ahead of time, for asking questions, for being in control of the situation, the sub and their self. The second is empathy. Understanding the psychological and physical experience of the submissive and staying connected to that is imperative. Empathy is also what enables the Dominant to aid their sub in fulfilling fantasies that are far outside the bounds of what most consider 'normal'. It's irrelevant whether you're turned on by dressing up in feminine lingerie or heteronormative intercourse in the missionary position or bondage and an enema or a BBBJ, so long as you're playing with other consenting adults in a safe fashion.

The map of human sexuality is amazing. Thanks for posting it!

Domination, therefor submission, is not about specific acts, humiliation, or sadism. It's more about giving yourself over into the complete care of the other. As such, putting on a dress, being led around by a collar, those are things designed to put one in a vulnerable position and test limits of trust and care.

I am naturally dominant, even during GFE session, one person does tend to take initiative. Even when you're being passive, you can be dominant. It's not physical. I have, as part of empathy 'training', have submitted to GFs, and while very sensual, it was a bit of a strain to remain in that role for me. There is freedom in submitting to another and allowing yourself to just feel the sensations given or inflicted.
Being a Dom in a session is part caretaker and part artist who plays an instrument. You play your sub’s body as an instrument, blurring lines of pain and pleasure to pure sensations. To do this, your primary tool is their mind. Never let the mind rest, never let it get complacent, always stimulate and push.

All of the above can be seen as extension of normal sex or love-making, just with limits residing in different categories like GFE, PSE, etc..

So to answer the original question, it doesn’t creep me out.

Those were my thoughts exactly. No one is going to domme rape you, unless you want them to! I just wish more people were open to trying new things. It's not all about the licking of boots. A session can have certain elements of domination, bondage, etc. That doesn't mean it has to be about pain or humiliation. It can be as simple as a girl telling you where to sit. Telling you to take your clothes off. Telling you how to kiss her. Guiding you gently, using you as her play thing. Who wouldn't want to be the object of a pretty girls affection? That's just one tiny example in an ocean of possibilities. I think, after a while, some people just require more to achieve the same effect. Also, they say sex is mostly mental so why not open your mind. Sex is also one of the highest forms of creativity. Alternative play allows me to be free, use my imagination, and escape. So many of us take things so seriously and have so many demands that we forget what its like to just be careless and act, in a way, free like kids get to. Sophie, that was a great analogy about the music btw.

I also do not think that being a pro dom/me makes you have disdain sp? Sorry using my phone. Anyway, I don't think that is true, because without a sub you would not get to be a dom/me and visa versa. If anything, I think if a lady doesn't establish boundries for herself she may end up hating men. Having said that, there are a lot of pro dommes out there who seem to have a sick ego. I don't really date, because I got tired of the way civilian men tried to treat me. Until a man does come along that is worthy of me I will do what I do and enjoy it. That may sound snotty to some, but I don't mean it that way. Why not? No games, no heartache, great sex, fun and adventure all with the added perk of being financially stable! I'm getting way off topic now, sorry.

FYI if a chick is blowing you and someone zaps her red headed ass with a cattle prod, you don't get shocked. Originally Posted by Big Jake

Yeah but you probably get bit!

Hear about the John Wayne Bobbit condom sale?


Half off!

It's not for me...just enjoy a "normal" time together.

This is a question for the guys, but ladies are encouraged to share their thoughts. Are you gfe guys scared or put off by ladies that are also into kink and bdsm? Particularly ladies who enjoy dominating submissive men or practicing sadism. Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

I never thought of myself as being close minded sexually until reading this. I am very strong willed and being submissive just doesnt seem like something I would enjoy......that being said I am also not dominating to women. Im seem to enjoy a nice exchange of seusual pleasure. Dont get me wrong, I know that some people find pleasure in pain, just not me.....or at least to this point I dont think I would. I normally dont see women that advertise this because I derive pleasure from giving pleasure and bdsm just doesnt seem pleasurable to me. I also avoid ladies when I see an incredible kinky (in my mind) review. I draw an assumption that if thats what shes into than it wont be fun for me because we wont connect on the same level. I know, close minded, but just throwing out an honest thought.

I just wish more people were open to trying new things. It's not all about the licking of boots. A session can have certain elements of domination, bondage, etc. That doesn't mean it has to be about pain or humiliation. It can be as simple as a girl telling you where to sit. Telling you to take your clothes off. Telling you how to kiss her. Guiding you gently, using you as her play thing. Who wouldn't want to be the object of a pretty girls affection? That's just one tiny example in an ocean of possibilities. I think, after a while, some people just require more to achieve the same effect. Also, they say sex is mostly mental so why not open your mind. Sex is also one of the highest forms of creativity. Alternative play allows me to be free, use my imagination, and escape. So many of us take things so seriously and have so many demands that we forget what its like to just be careless and act, in a way, free like kids get to. Sophie, that was a great analogy about the music btw. Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

These threads really have me thinking. I agree with a lot of what you say, but I am very much set in my ways. My mind is a very tough nut to crack in my personal life, no way someone is getting in there in the hobby. Im thinking, Im reading, and Im trying not to close my mind to things that I dont understand. I just know what I currently like and dont venture outside that box...yet

I don't really date, because I got tired of the way civilian men tried to treat me. Until a man does come along that is worthy of me I will do what I do and enjoy it. That may sound snotty to some, but I don't mean it that way. Why not? No games, no heartache, great sex, fun and adventure all with the added perk of being financially stable! I'm getting way off topic now, sorry. Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

Maybe a little off topic but I had to quote you on this one becasue we are actually eye to eye on it.....other than replacing your "man" with "woman" for me.

I never thought of myself as being close minded sexually until reading this. I am very strong willed and being submissive just doesnt seem like something I would enjoy......that being said I am also not dominating to women. Im seem to enjoy a nice exchange of seusual pleasure. Dont get me wrong, I know that some people find pleasure in pain, just not me.....or at least to this point I dont think I would. I normally dont see women that advertise this because I derive pleasure from giving pleasure and bdsm just doesnt seem pleasurable to me. I also avoid ladies when I see an incredible kinky (in my mind) review. I draw an assumption that if thats what shes into than it wont be fun for me because we wont connect on the same level. I know, close minded, but just throwing out an honest thought.

These threads really have me thinking. I agree with a lot of what you say, but I am very much set in my ways. My mind is a very tough nut to crack in my personal life, no way someone is getting in there in the hobby. Im thinking, Im reading, and Im trying not to close my mind to things that I dont understand. I just know what I currently like and dont venture outside that box...yet


Maybe a little off topic but I had to quote you on this one becasue we are actually eye to eye on it.....other than replacing your "man" with "woman" for me. Originally Posted by atxbrad

Damnit you need some kink in your life, Atxbrad! Neither person just has to be Dom/me or sub to enjoy kinky things. Especially role playing. You haven't ever played out some kinky scenario in your head? Well...If you ever change your mind...

and yes women and men play too many freaking games...not the fun kind eithier! Sooo the hobby is where I play.

I have only recently started to explore the kinkier things.

Broadening your horizons can be a good thing.

I found this in another thread "Human Sex Map"... Wow, some freaky shit out there...

http://www.humansexmap.com/ Originally Posted by Elephant

The only one I had to look up was "dacrylagnia."

Heard of all the rest.

Nothing new under the sun, I suppose...

and also kink!!! Just wanted to send some love in your direction having nothing to do with this thread!!!!

muah

Neither person just has to be Dom/me or sub to enjoy kinky things. Especially role playing. You haven't ever played out some kinky scenario in your head? Well...If you ever change your mind... Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

I don't have a problem with kink, but I don't want DFK with a woman who just did TUMA with some other guy. That is pretty gross to think about - at least to me. Sorry for being crude...

I don't have a problem with kink, but I don't want DFK with a woman who just did TUMA with some other guy. That is pretty gross to think about - at least to me. Sorry for being crude... Originally Posted by tron

I don't like tuma. That's not even kinky to me. I think its gross, but to each his/her own. This is exactly what I meant by guys being scared off by domme providers. Everyone has so many different perceptions. I don't like receiving dato eithier. Isn't it funny what we all consider to be kinky? Cum swap, greek, dato, tuma etc. Seem more appropriate for the pse category. I really like some forms of bondage, sensual domination, fetish, role play, etc. As foreplay. I guess just like anything, what I want sexually depends on the mood.