The right to choose ?

sounds like a pre-emptive rebuttal of a bad review
butt_her's Avatar
I have always wondered how providers can see so many guys and not have some sort of preference.
At least us guys have some idea what we are getting before we go in, but the ladies may not.
I don’t hobby all that much, but I learned early on that some amount of chemistry is important. It can come from their photos, reviews, and their responses to discussion topics. After all, this is a ‘unique’ service they offer.
One provider I saw who offered the special services I enjoy and had decent photos and was reasonably priced and was close by, just giggled too much during the session. This was a major turnoff and she was off my list, regardless of what special she was running. I didn’t review her, I just chalked it up to a lesson learned.
It’s good to see the ladies posing these types of questions instead of the guys, who may appear to be bitching and moaning to some. LOL

Hobby rule #1: BUYER BEWARE!
I like Alea"s idea.. Very smart lady.. No bad review coming. I was just wondering. Because I have had this happen not often but it does. Its not that the guy was ugly or smelled in fact some where hot and very clean cut. I could just feel something. Maybe being single I could also feel more of an attraction then I should feel. Do you want a fatal attraction on your hands? lol just kidding : )

I know this isn't a dating site its not my first rodeo. I know this is "work" but I would also like to think of it as a lifestyle with added benefits for both of us.

I just wonder if this constitutes a bad review? Its not like I open the door and say HELL NO.. We sit talk for awhile and feel it out. Heck you might not like me after we talk and I always offer you" if you don't like me your free to leave" concept ..
rcinokc's Avatar
Hobbyist would quit making appointments with providers because they would never know if they would be turned away when they show up at a provider's incall. Originally Posted by Sneaky Winky
And some providers are willing to take that risk. I think if it didn't happen often, and some sort of justification could be seen, the damage to their business would be minimal.
Heck you might not like me after we talk and I always offer you" if you don't like me your free to leave" concept ..
Originally Posted by Rebeccaofdallas
Rebecca, do you think that this is a standard arrangement among most providers? In other words, if a guy scheduled an appointment with a provider, had her come to his place, invited her in, chatted with her for a while, maybe shared a drink or two, and then asked her to leave without any payment because he felt the chemistry wasn't right, how do you think most providers would react to that? Any chance she'd write a negative report about him?

It's your business and your body. I absolutely believe you're under no obligation to see anyone for any reason--good, bad, or indifferent. But, if you're going to turn away at the door guys who are clean and courteous because you don't feel the chemistry, then you should expect the guy to share that information because that is not the norm in this industry.
travelling_man's Avatar
I like Alea"s idea.. Very smart lady..
I know this isn't a dating site its not my first rodeo. I know this is "work" but I would also like to think of it as a lifestyle with added benefits for both of us.

Originally Posted by Rebeccaofdallas
Rebecca,

I think you have hit upon a great idea. If you want to meet all of your new clients for an off the clock interview that would be fine with me. As long as the clients know and are willing to take the risk that the two of you won't be compatible I don't see a problem at all. You might lose some guys that have to drive from far away and can't take a risk of being turned down, but the guys you do end up seeing probably will be good clients in the long run because you feel a mutual attraction.

Just be clear in your intentions and see how it goes. I will volunteer for that first meeting in fact. Let's talk more about it offline.
LazurusLong's Avatar
Rebecca,

Seriously.
Heck you might not like me after we talk and I always offer you" if you don't like me your free to leave" concept .. Originally Posted by Rebeccaofdallas
When did you start doing that?

Without looking back over the last 10 years, I have to wonder if this isn't just another way of letting folks know that all the times you took money for your "birthday" and then had to leave to go party or for an emergency can now be blamed on "no connection"?

Standing by a window looking at the guy as he gets out of his car and walking to the door and knocking has never happened with you correct?

Or how about your meeting a guy at a social, talking to him (must have been chemistry since you drove that out of town guy home to your incall) then once at the incall, you simply leave without saying a word while heading out to party?

The concept of this thread is a good one for discussion but given your bad habits over the years, it might have been better for another provider to ask.

I honestly hope that you have changed but at the same time, if you or any other provider did proper screening, you should be able to find out enough about the guy to know if he is physically unattractive or not, if he has issues you don't want to deal with or not and should make that choice during screening NOT when he is at your door unless YOU agree to meet someplace on your own time for free to chat.

The moment a single cent moves from the client's pocket to yours, having to bail out and send him packing because YOU chose to not see him means he leaves with a full wallet.

IF your photos are accurate and HE leaves for something he COULD have known prior to the appointment, he needs to pay something, a token amount for wasting your time when he could and should have done research.
  • npita
  • 04-15-2010, 11:19 AM
I am just curious . If you as hobbyist have the right to choose your providers do we as providers have a choice to choose our hobbyist?
A hobbyist has the right to contact you (by virtue of the fact that you've made your contact information accessible). He doesn't have the right to see you unless both of you decide to see each other. (meaning that both of you only have the right to veto a meeting. Neither of you have a right to insist on one.)

When you walk into your scheduled appointment have you ever said “this is not what I wanted and I can’t go through with this”?
I only cancelled one appointmet. I did it several hours in advance and I paid for the full price of the session ($600.00). I'd seen the provider twice before and her attitude the day of the visit made me decide I didn't want to see her again. I have no idea what is considered customary.
Should we as providers see everyone that comes through our door just because we are providers?
No. I really wanted to find providers who were selective enough to choose the type of client they preferred so that I could find one who expected a connection with a hobbyist who scheduled multi-hour, regular appointments. I even posted a list of expectations in my p411 profile that I hoped would discourage providers who were looking for a different type of client from accepting an appointment. However, it seems that every provider I cobtacted assured me she could meet those expectations, but apparently most of them stopped reading after the part about ``regular, multi-hour client.'' I concluded that most providers DO accept anyone who walks through the door, since no one ever said no to me and I am certain there was no connection with most.
We don’t know if there will be a connection before you come see us. And I as a provider don’t want to feel like a blow up doll..
Well, I never expected to treat a provider as a blow up doll, but with a couple of exceptions most of them seemed to expect me to treat them that way (and treat me as an ATM), since they never appeared to have read past the ``regular, multi-hour client'' part in my p411 profile.
I would think the way the economy is that you would appreciate a provider saying “this isn’t going to work and I don’t just want to go through the motions keep your wonderful gift and I am glad we got to meet” .
I would have appreciated that regardless of the economy. It just never happened.

I would love to hear what your thoughts are on this?
I solved the problem by getting out of p4p.
Maybe things could be handled differently?
I'm sure things could be handled differently. The only way that would happen would require providers to target the specific type of client they want to have as clients rather than trying to be all things to all clients. Not many providers do that.
Lazuruslong

Did these things happen to you? and if they did you contact me. Also being that my incall has always been my house I am sure I would have had to come back sooo not really sure what your saying there.. I didn't start this so I can get slammed. I am rarely on this site starting discussions. I just have had this situation come up and i wanted to handle it correctly.. I have always said if some one has an issue with me call me.. That's my 2cents


Becca
shooter6.5's Avatar
On topic my friend,

Not about Rebbecca personally.

You are doing good-let"s keep it that way!!!!!!!!!!!
GneissGuy's Avatar
Pay him a cancellation fee. He invested his time scheduling the appointment, spent money getting there, etc. If you hadn't decided to not keep your scheduled appointment, he might have been working at his job and been making money.



I'm only half joking. You also may have wasted one of his few days off work.

If you want to turn guys down for appearance, etc., state that in your ad and require that as part of your screening. "I require you to send me recent photos and will turn down the appointment if you're not to my liking. Check your height and weight on the following chart to see if you qualify for an appointment."

Or require the guy to meet you off the clock first. "All clients must meet me for a happy meal at the golden arches as part of the screening."
LazurusLong's Avatar
On topic my friend,

Not about Rebbecca personally.

You are doing good-let"s keep it that way!!!!!!!!!!! Originally Posted by shooter6.5
Rebecca asked me to contact her but has her PM's disabled.

How should I answer her or contact her since she specifically asked me to do so if this happened to me?
but at the same time, if you or any other provider did proper screening, you should be able to find out enough about the guy to know if he is physically unattractive or not, if he has issues you don't want to deal with or not and should make that choice during screening NOT when he is at your door unless YOU agree to meet someplace on your own time for free to chat. Originally Posted by LazurusLong
Are you kidding me? Just proof that you know nothing about being a provider...but why should you, you have a penis. So how about you just stop pretending that you do and leave that to the ladies?

Things that bother one lady may not bother me. Things that bother me may not bother another lady. Example: Some ladies think you are a wretched little troll and would never see you in a million years. Me on the other hand, I have never had any problems with you so you don't bother me. In fact, you have always been very nice to me and gone out of your way to help me out. Just like some men on this site think I'm beautiful and love visiting with me, others think I am a loud-mouthed fat ass cow and would not touch me even with your penis. LOL

So just goes to show you...beauty ,or things that turn one off, are in the eye of the beholder. Some things cannot be discovered in screening, only when we are face-to-face.
69er's Avatar
  • 69er
  • 04-15-2010, 08:58 PM
Rebecca asked me to contact her but has her PM's disabled.

How should I answer her or contact her since she specifically asked me to do so if this happened to me? Originally Posted by LazurusLong
Uhhhh...

If the four websites in her signature aren't a clue to where you might find contact info, then I'm not sure how you've survived this long finding escorts on the internet.

I met Rebecca recently, and had a great time with her. You've remineded me that since she is back from vacation, and so am I, it's time to call her! Thanks for the indirect reminder.
Wow. Cowboyup and jfred...you guys make this board worthwhile. Good to know there are GENTLEMEN in this forum. S.W, you are just looking for attention. Say what u like about US providers. Post ur sick, childish pics and comments...it's sad that you have the time to google such nonsense, good luck and good riddance.