Challenges for Escorts

I wasn't trying to come across as angry. I get stressed out. I was just being honest. You are entitled to your opinion. Being "incognito" I can truely say what I feel. The truth is, I do this solely for the cash. If I won millions of dollars I would immediately quit doing this. If you won the lottery and circumstances changed, wouldn't you?? (You don't have to answer that). This is NOT an easy job, I'm sorry but it isn't. Yes, there are many nice, respectable clients. But there are real jerks out there also.
We, as escorts are targets for alot of things. Yes, sex is fun. Annonymous sex can be fun also. But if it's that much fun, and if your in it for the fun, then why charge? Of course, we all have bills to pay. But why not charge $50 instead of hundreds? Because, were all in it for the money. Anyway, I'm sorry for ruining your illusions. I feel like a traitor for saying all this. I should be helping you, not making the men see us for what we are. But thats what the boards are here for. You see, I stuggle with the all too common "burn out." I think the reason for this is because this life is a secret/double life. So I've recently joined this board to communicate, discuss, listen and offer as well as recieve opinions. I think it's good to get things off our (sexy) chests. I'm hoping that by having people to talk to, even strangers on this board, it will relieve my stress and limit the burnouts I get all the time. As for quitting, I wish I could, but like all you ladies, I have bills to pay and right now I cannot. I was just saying that I do this for money, I do not think it's fun. Thank you for listening to me. Be well and stay safe.

I'll never understand why people assume that others are lying because the specified others do not share their opinions. The sentence "I don't believe ___ because my experience is ___," already sounds ignorant to me without even having to analyze the content.

At the risk of being rude to a newbie on the board, please girl! Your logic and wisdom are not very sound, IMO. You do come across as jaded and disillusioned. Try changing your approach and tactics and maybe your experiences will be more in keeping with an actual professional escort. I can't speak for the others, but you didn't offend me. However, I do feel a bit "uncomfortable" for you.

Uh... I love my "fucking" job!

Now, Naomi....You can't fool us. We know ya hate feeling adored, sexy, and beautiful while getting paid to do so! Don't even try to make us think otherwise, cause I ain't fallin' for it!

LOL

The truth is, I do this solely for the cash. If I won millions of dollars I would immediately quit doing this. If you won the lottery and circumstances changed, wouldn't you?? (You don't have to answer that). This is NOT an easy job, I'm sorry but it isn't. . . .

But if it's that much fun, and if your in it for the fun, then why charge? Of course, we all have bills to pay. But why not charge $50 instead of hundreds? Because, were all in it for the money. Originally Posted by incognito isis

Of course, the same could be said of many jobs. If I won $20 million in the lottery tomorrow (unlikely, since I don't play the lottery), I'd quit my job too. Like many people, I enjoy my job, and prefer it to other alternatives. But it has disadvantages as well. Some days are good, some days are bad.

Here's what I perceive as the middle range of American workers: certainly wouldn't do it for free, it's not always fun and there are drawbacks, but it's OK as a way to make a living, or maybe even (occasionally) something you enjoy doing (even though it's not something you'd do for fun or recreation). Hopefully you're somewhere in that range or (ideally) a little bit above it, where "it's about the money" but still enjoyable.

If you're neutral or even slightly positive about your job, that's normal. If you absolutely dread going to work in the morning but feel as though you have no better options . . . then I hope you find something better. I'd say that whether you're an escort or a mechanic or a lawyer or a doctor or a salesperson, etc., etc.

Thanks for posting, and good luck.

CD--I generally agree with your observations.

5) Doctors and lawyers aren't routinely forced to hear/read that they are not worthwhile individuals because of what they do. I strongly disagree with this. Lawyers are the butt of probably 1000x (or more) of the jokes that escorts or doctors are. And lawyers aren't respected as people. Even though escorts may be judged, they are not nearly as universally despised as lawyers.

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Vastly overstated, I think. Sure, there are lots of lawyer jokes, but lawyers are also respected by a lot of people, even non-clients. And negative attitudes are generally reserved for a relatively small groups of lawyers who engage in egregious behavior, or a particular side of litigation (either the plaintiffs' bar or the defense bar, depending on your circumstances). But lawyers in big corporation versus big corporation lawsuits? Or lawyers who don't work in litigation at all, say, transactional lawyers or estate planning or the like? They're usually disliked, if at all, not for their actions but for how much it costs for their services -- one aspect with which escorts can sympathize. And they're looked down on, when they are, for a perceived moral failing of greed - quite different from the perceived (IMO inaccurately) moral failings associated with escorts in the public's mind. I can tell people what I do for a living without their recoiling in disgust; my mother and family aren't ashamed of my job. And few people complain that a lawyer just moved in next door. Although there are some negative portrayals of lawyers in movies and TV, they're typically balanced by positive portrayals of other lawyers in opposition. In the aggregate, lawyers are portrayed positively, which is not the case for escorts.

But maybe I lead a sheltered life or am looking at the world through rose-colored glasses.

Most of the ladies ive talked to got into providing because they love meeting people and enjoy the sex and really dont consider it a JOB per say and i guess thats why we call it the hobby instead of the job.
some have real life jobs and families and the hard part of this HOBBY is leading 2 lives and trying to keep it seperate and not feeling for a client the way you do for a SO and of course there is the money aspect because there is no other place for a wman to make 300 hr and up unless she is and exec at a large company and lets face it..its still pretty much a mans world and maybe 25% of the working women have a chance to make that kind of money in the real world.
Ive met some of the smartest women in the hobby that run their provider business like you would run a company and most will tell you that they enjoy their work .
The big problem with being a provider I will never know because i cant be one and if i could id be the biggest slut on the block..lol but i can only imagine how hard it is to see a man who is old ,out of shape, or even a young guy who wants multiple pops with an attitude and to do this would be like going on a blind date each time and having to put out to each one of them.
Being a provider is not easy ..but some of you ladies make it look easy and always come out with a big smile and a wonderful attitude God bless all of you and THANK YOU for treating all of us the way you do!!

I just love when some speak for others as if it's fact.... Pretty much everyone has already stated the way I feel regarding this topic already but I will say this, you are the textbook provider that should find something different to do. Is the money you claim that is so easy to make in this really worth how you have described how it makes you feel (you don't have to answer that)?

I'm sorry if I offend some, but it makes me laugh when an escort sais she likes her job! No, you like to make easy money. Nothing wrong with that. Before I started escorting I had a very high sex drive as well. I went online and searched adult NSA sites. If you truely love what you do, then why charge? You can go online and have NSA fun with plenty of guys. Don't tell me you do it for fun. That is a bunch of bologne! I'll admit right out, I do it for the easy money. Of course I'm under ingocnito but if I was not, I would lie and say: I do it because it's fun!! I understand the NEED to make the fellows feel you WANT to be with them. But please, honestly, I want to puke when I think about being with the clients. They are old, boring, nerdy, fat, geeky, smelly, awkward. To me, that is NOT fun.
But I do it because I like the easy money. It's all an illusion. Say what you want to keep the business coming. Make the guys think you like them. So to me one of the biggest challenges is clingy clients. Yes, it happens. Clients get clingy. But I've used my wisdom to take advantage of the crush. Before I would coddle the crush, I would handle the client with care. I guess because I wasn't jaded. But then I learned. If your too nice the clients will just take advantage of you. So now I take advantage when a client has a crush. For example, I will limit all contact with the clingy client. That way, he will want you more. No "hello" emails or cute, fun texts. Nothing. I make it clear, if you like me, then make an appointment. I feel sorry for their wives. Originally Posted by incognito isis

Why don't you dip your toes in the pool instead of gathering Intel for some paper or novel you are writing?

Live a month in the life you are so intrigued by, then come back and tell us what you've discovered. Originally Posted by ~Ze~

I tend to agree with these two posts. Threads started by surfergirl are:
http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=173518
http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=160656
http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=160658

All are "inquiries" about what it's like. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Good observation!

I don't mind if someone hits the boards to gather research, although I would prefer if the researcher would peruse ladies' websites and blogs and decide who s/he would like to interview directly. All it takes is an email requesting an interview along with a listing of her/his credentials i.e. student at XYZ University, sexologist, whatever.

However, even then one must be very careful and truly research said researcher...remember "Alexa" and her Real Princess Diaries blog? She had a whole section where she interviewed numerous of escorts about their experiences as escorts. She had reviews on review sites yet a number of us as real students and activists doubted her legitimacy.

Sure enough, she was a he...if you haven't already heard about it, Google it for the gory details.

Ok if you LOVE your job, point taken. And to those who say I'm "unprofessional" or I've had bad experiences, well your quite wrong. I just had an amazing experience with a regular client just last night. The thing that made me ponder why I feel I don't like my job is this: prior to any appointment, I get a horrible dreadful feeling. Depression washes over me. I feel exhausted, emotionally and physicly. I get angry and nauseous. I panick. I have a heavy feeling on my shoulders. My body starts to feel sore. (panic attack maybe??) I use a vaginal lubricating thing that you insert inside you because I know there is no way I'm getting wet when I see the client, but he will think I"m all excited when he touches me. I've had plenty of client touch me and say: WOW your really excited to see me!" If only they knew how close to being sick I was while getting ready, just thinking about the appointment. I'M NOT SAYING THIS HAPPENS TO ALL OF YOU!

I understand I've ruffled some feathers. My intention is not to upset anyone, even tho it looks like some of you are. I'm sorry for expressing the truth, how SOME but certainly not ALL feel. I am expressing the difficulties I face. So last night while getting dressed as usual, I have all those emotions....when I get into my car and drive I blast the radio and try to visualize myself someplace else. When I get to the appointment, I'm all good to go. I've disassociated myself to Disney Land. I'm not there emotionally. So I'm able to go thru with it. When I knock on the door I'm confident, smiling, and friendly. I'm ready and prepared. I've wondered why I don't take last minute appointments. And the truth is it usually takes me several hours to prepare myself emaotionally. I know others are different and would grab at the opportunity to see client no matter WHEN they called.
I understand why people would be pissed off at me for saying all this. This game is an illusion and I'm sorry for cracking the code. Many of you say you just LOVE your job. Ok cool, I understand that. But honestly, do you really love being with older, out of shape men?? How can you? But ok, keep on keeping on.
I'd much rather do this then get used by some jerky boyfriend also. Unfortunitely, the clients have treated me better then my boyfriends. Yes, that is a sad fact. So in that aspect, I can see why you ladies enjoy doing this. I haven't had any bad experiences other then the clingy client issue. So for those who say I'm unprofessional and if I change my attitude, I will feel better, well you don't know what your talking about. The clients treat me wonderful. And I still have to muster up the courage and energy to do this. I bet many of you do it also, but it doesn't look good to say all that I'm saying. I'm incognito. I can say the truth.

And just last night I met with a regular client. He was so nice and respectful to me, as usual. He gave me a big tip (as usual) plus a giftcard. He always does that, gives a tip and a giftcard. But yet, I still had my panicky, sickly feeling while getting dressed for the appointment. Even tho I knew he is a nice guy and a regular. I will admit tho, when I leave the appointment, all said and done, safely, and with a chunk of cash in my purse (for doing something I used to do for free) that is the greatest feeling in the world. It's addicting and thats why I keep doing what I do. The cash. The benjamins.

Oh boy...that's not good. I mean I have had days where I would just rather not deal with this, but NEVER to the extent of what you described. That sounds horrid and scary to put yourself through that. Is the money REALLY worth it? If I had to go through that, I would have slit my wrist by now for sure. I get appalled at guys who have the personality of a carrot, those who can't wash their own azz, and those who use you as a cum dumpster, but that's about it lol.

I truly feel for you if that is what you have to deal with before every appt. yet are professional enough to not let them know. That is a gift if I ever heard of one!

Isis,

I know unsolicited advice is the worst kind of advice, so I'll apologize in advance.

If you have some great or amazing experiences and few poor experiences, but still have the extremely severe reactions you describe, it sounds as though your issue is with the mere idea of P4P. I can understand a lady feeling exploited, degraded, or otherwise just plain bad about being in this profession and I am sure I've encountered ladies like that (although I am also confident that's not the case with all escorts). If that's the case, you're right, you can't just tell yourself to feel differently about it. For that matter, who are we to say your feeling about it is "wrong"? But does putting yourself through all of that just for the addiction of the benjamins, while "the greatest feeling in the world," offset the pain you experience?

I know it would be very difficult but I hope you're able to find your way out to something that won't cause that pain.

P.S. You're not upsetting me or ruffling my feathers. If you feel this way about it, it's more important for you to be able to express that than it is for us to avoid having to hear it.

I'm sorry for expressing the truth, how SOME but certainly not ALL feel. Originally Posted by incognito isis

I'm sorry if I offend some, but it makes me laugh when an escort sais she likes her job! No, you like to make easy money. Originally Posted by incognito isis

Hmm.

Isis,

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us. The last thing I will do is attack you. I have a few friends that feel the same way you do. Incognito, I love my job. I love the money that comes with it of course but I don't hate men. My clients are very good to me. I treat them with respect and they treat me with respect. I'd be lying if I said it's always been this way because it hasn't. In fact, when I first started I worked with an agency and the agency didn't screen well. There were a few times I saw those nasty, smelly men but that is not the case now. As an independent, It's all about marketing and how you present yourself. It's great feeling knowing that I can make money being me/not pretending to be someone else and seeing men that I want to see even though sometimes I can be a biaaatch they still love me lmao!

If we were all in it just for the money we wouldn't have such requirements for screening. I know a few ladies here that won't see black guys, some like myself won't see guys under 35.. now don't you think if we were all in it JUST for the money we would accept anyone and everyone?

I always tell my friends: If spending time with strange men is a problem for you, don't get into escorting. Those "old, fat" men you speak of? My friends would tell you that I prefer them as clients. I have a friend in Canada right now that is thinking about getting into the business. I know how she is. For months, I've sent her money to help with bills, rent, anything I can help with so she stays the hell away from this business and not do something that she DOES NOT enjoy doing but she's going to go it anyway.

So I know you pain and I feel you on the money being great but we're not all cold-hearted and bitter. I'm not upset btw. I think your posts are interesting.

Naomi