At the risk of some people branding me, I'll play Devil's Advocate. One of the big reasons this topic is not discussed rationally here is this - this is the 'final frontier', the last taboo. So much so that we have providers who request that someone who engages in this activity never contact her for services, hobbyists that declare to the world at large that they will never see a BBFS provider, not to mention those that will avoid BBFS participants quietly. So there is a tangible reason to fear coming out as BBFS proponent.
Even if you are not a practitioner of BBFS, but would like to play devil's advocate, please provide a rationale, beyond "it feels good," for why this activity should be embraced with open arms by our community.
Originally Posted by ANONONE
It's unfair to categorically deny "it feels good" as a reason for doing BB. After all, why do you hobby in the first place? Why do so many men shun CBJ providers? Also, I don't think anyone is asking it to be embraced with open arms like CFS. There are many in the hobby who enjoy Greek, prostate massage, DATO, strap-on play, along with other activities that the rest consider 'fringe' or 'fetish'.
::Wince::
. . .at first glance these seem like valid perspectives, but the last one sort of ties it to a type of moral pluralism that I am uncomfortable with.
I try to be tolerant of the sexuality of others, but at some point there is a disconnect when it comes to safety.
Should we intrude into the BCD activities of others?
This is a tough question and I think anyone that proffers the easy answer here of "we should support all lifestyles, even if we don't practice them," might be a bit misguided.
For those of you willing to be more tolerant of the kinks of others. . .would you feel the same way about a chronic masturbator? He has a right to jack-off to his heart's content, but do you want him handling your food without washing his hands? What if his sexuality involves a desire to bareback the hamburger he is making for you before he put's it on your plate?
Originally Posted by ANONONE
You asked the question, "Should we intrude into the BCD activities of others?" Then posed scenarios that would be abhorrent to a great majority of people. Your examples do not translate directly to the situation we're discussing. I could make the point that if I am a consenting adult who knows and consents to eating said burger that someone went BB with, then it should be fine. If the chronic masturbator washes his hands and puts his food handling gloves on before preparing your food, are you OK with that? Even if he masturbated himself BB?
There are many gray lines, despite your view that BBFS is the absolute line to never cross.
Many in mainstream society would consider even participating in the hobby to be tremendously risky behavior - having (even protected) sex with partners that regularly have multiple partners monthly, weekly, daily is riskier than having an SO or being abstinent. Transition to slightly darker gray from there. Let's look at things from the POV of a CBJ provider. The level of risk going from CBJ to BBBJ is debatable, but it is a fact. So to those that only do CBJ, those of us who participate in BBBJ present a higher risk pool because of engagement in higher risk behavior. Again, slightly darker area - those who shave. While almost expected these days, having a freshly shaven presentation means close to daily shaving, presenting a greater risk of nicks and cuts that would facilitate transmission of diseases.
You can see that pretty much everything we do presents some degree of increased or reduced amount of risk. We all draw our lines based on our own comfort levels. Some base it on what may be the accepted norm in this subculture.
I am not merely championing a ladies' cause, I am championing mine. I am not pretending anything--I know it happens, and when it does I want it exposed and I want experienced hobbyists and providers to explain why this is bad for everyone--not just the participants.
Your argument makes no sense. Child pornography and teenage prostitution happens too, and if it it was being discussed as an okay thing to do, I would be just as outspoken. How about you?
This is not just about tastes and fetishes--this is about safety.
Sure, I can come to grips with the fact that somebody has gone where I am going and cover-up accordingly, but that does not mean I have to like it or be quiet about it.
I don't want to perform DATY on some lady that got manipulated by some scumbag into doing BBFS, because folks like you want this to go away or slip into tolerated behavior by requesting that we quiet our protest just because it annoys you. If the topic of the thread is too trite for you, don't read it and move on.
If sloppy seconds don't bother you, or if they turn you on, so be it--don't tell the rest of us to shut up because you disagree with the stance of abhorrence to this despicable activity.
It is called contributing to the board. Personally, if you are a long-time hobbyist or provider with experience, aren't you being just a little bit irresponsible if you say nothing, or just become cavalier about it?
Originally Posted by ANONONE
If we were less inclined to tell smokers who bad smoking is for them, I mean tell BBFS people how they are engaging in risky behavior, they might be a little more inclined to talk about engaging in the act. "I want it exposed and I want experienced hobbyists and providers to explain why this is bad for everyone." Do you think none of them understand the risks? To me, this is much like a Christian wanting to pass laws to make it illegal to have premarital sex and mandatory to pray in schools because it's for your own good. At some point, we have to accept that adults will make decisions based on priorities that are important to them, and your priorities mean nothing to them.
The issues you bring up about your safety presents us with harder questions. At the same time, consider your own objections and knee-jerk reaction to BBFS. BBBJ is a generally accepted act while BBFS is not, yet while you make objections to performing DATY on some lady that just did BBFS with someone else, you don't seem to have the same problem with kissing a lady that may have done BBBJ or even CIM with someone else just before you. Are you being objective about this issue?
Comparing BBFS to anything sexual involving children is not valid. No party involved in BBFS lacks mental capacity to make decisions, including you.
What is comes down to is that we are all already engaged in behavior that involve some amount of risk. Each act or precaution we take increase or decrease the amount of risk we are exposed to. As we see sexual preferences differ wildly even in this small community, we will see risk aversion vary.
That said, if you cover up, what do you think are the differences in risk when you are engaging a non-BBFS lady vs. BBFS lady? A condom is not an impenetrable armor, there are STDs you can catch from non genital contact, oral contact, and through condoms. Let's try to discuss this without the knee-jerk reaction.
