Lunch / Dinner / Happy Hour with Providers

I've been out for dinner, drinks and movie (with and w/o BCD) with a few of my ATFs. I've offered to compensate each time, but the majority of them declined (a couple of them even paid - much to my protest). Originally Posted by Neotek

I've done the very same thing with my ATF. Dinner, lunch and movies. Heck one Sunday I was out grocery shopping and she called to see if I wanted to go a movie and lunch. I paid of course and had a great time. She is a real sweetheart.

I've done dinner, drinks, dessert and just had hang time with providers as long as I've been in the hobby. All of those encounters have required a significant investment on my part.

With ladies I've not seen before, or seen only a couple of times, the investment has been largely or purely financial. I've paid for dinner and compensated them for their time at a reduced rate. Frequently these have been meals before or after a session for which I paid their quoted rate.

Ladies with whom I've had an established history have spent this time with me totally off the clock and with little or no direct financial compensation for that time. In those cases I've already established myself as a very regular client who generally brings a bottle of wine to our meetings and more often than not tips.

Sometimes the ladies even chipped in on the drinks. In fact last December I had lunch and spent most of the afternoon having drinks with two very hot ladies one of whom I had just seen for a mind blowing session. When it was all said and done I only paid for about half of the bill. But note, I had previously invested years of time and money into building my relationship with these ladies.

The "hobby" for the guys is and will remain a business for the girls. Its how they support themselves and their families. In that sense its no different than any other business. Many of us in business routinely take established clients to lunch or other social outings......because they are established clients.

And, to save time, don't equate the practice of socializing with prospective clients in this world and the square business world. This world has never worked that way and never will. If ladies did that every early morning, lunch hour and cocktail hour would be filled with tire kickers, or whatever the hobby equivalent might be.

And, to save time, don't equate the practice of socializing with prospective clients in this world and the square business world. This world has never worked that way and never will. If ladies did that every early morning, lunch hour and cocktail hour would be filled with tire kickers, or whatever the hobby equivalent might be. Originally Posted by lagniappe

Well stated! However, there are always those ISO "something for nothing" in this biz, and unfortunately, there are are also always those willing to oblige.

Earned time is okay in my book, but there are not many men in the hobby who would qualify due to their need for "strange" and the limited time they have available.

I went to Chaucers the other evening with a gentleman who has been trying to see me for months.

Since I travel often, we could never meet up in his hometown but made it happen in Dallas.

We had a session and then went to dinner off the clock.

Hell LilSmurf and I are going to have a wing eating contest at Hooters soon.

I think I owe Boltfan Starbucks when I get back on that side of town where I use to live.

El Diablo introduced me to Hibachi in Addison and OMG I love that place now!

I am in town a few times a week and often will wait til I get back home in Central Texas to eat. You guys PM your numbers and I will be more than happy to have coffee or lunch/dinner when I come in to the DFW area.

Well said, and great poise berkleigh. Some of us really enjoy the company of a beautiful woman, for socializing, dinner, or for a few cocktails. Really no different than a " Happy Hour Social" but on a much more personal level.

Honestly, believe it or not...it's not just all about BCD for all guys. As with any business relationship there is a level of comfort involved, that requires nuturing of that relationship. I guarantee that having a few and selective individuals as clients can be much more financially rewarding, not to mention providing on a much lower volume, and just concentrate on the top level of quality.

It seems to me that selective providers can either be a "Walmart" or a "Neiman Marcus" it's all about presentation. But that's my opinion
-Zorro

Honestly, believe it or not...it's not just all about BCD for all guys. As with any business relationship there is a level of comfort involved, that requires nuturing of that relationship. I guarantee that having a few and selective individuals as clients can be much more financially rewarding, not to mention providing on a much lower volume, and just concentrate on the top level of quality. Originally Posted by Zorro

This is so very true, and it's unfortunate that not many people realize this. I love going out to eat, and it's much more fun to dine with someone you get along really well with, than to dine alone.

As far as non-compensated social time I think it depends on the lady and what your relationship is with her. For someone I was meeting for the first time, I wouldn't expect her to spend social time with me off-the-clock, nor would I even ask. If I've seen her a few times already and we seem to click really well, then I might bring up the subject. However, there have been exceptions. The very first HDH I ever saw called me up a few hours before our meeting time. I had only booked 2 hours so she asked if I would be interested in having dinner beforehand off-the-clock. In my 5 years of hobbying up to that point, I had never had dinner with a provider before and never had anyone ask either. Well, I accepted, and we had a blast. And what happened after that? I saw her once a month BCD like clockwork and still do.

As I've gotten older I have found the companionship/social aspect of this business to be almost as rewarding as the BCD activities. Although I have booked 4 hour dates before, I don't do them very often. The majority of my sessions involve 2 hours of paid BCD time coupled with a non-compensated dinner either before or afterwards; but these are all with women I have seen at least a few times already.

Some ladies will charge for their time no matter what, and there's nothing wrong with that. Others are more flexible. In my experience, the providers that are more open to off-the-clock social time are ones that

1) have more free time on their hands (i.e. no SO, kids or family to take care of)
2) don't do this full time (i.e. they have a day job and only provide to earn extra spending money)