Contemplating Pregnancy

Okay, it's a bad idea. A really bad idea. She's tried to walk it back. I don't suppose you all would now consider getting up off this dogpile and leaving her be?

I didn't think so ... Originally Posted by James1588

Yes, and she didn't go off on anyone either even though they were being rude and disrespectful to her. It seems like her reason for being here and for wanting a child is she just wants love and want to be loved. Children are the best and purest form of love that you can have, but you have to be mentally stable enough in order to love them back the way that they need you to love them back. That's the kicker. Misty I hope that you really think about your decision, decide whether or not you're going to be able to care for a child regardless of any situation regardless of what happens, put the child first before your own selfish needs. You will regret it for the rest of your life if you don't.

There are always folks who feel a need to bully others or respond in mean spirited ways. Its a sport for them. But pay no mind to them. I think you asked and got lots of answers with a consistent theme of "heck no" and "think about this carefully". That's one of the things that makes this place interesting...there are folks who will give you genuine and thoughtful responses.

First of all in past life... This bring up a lot issues and mixed feelings... Your talking about a child a being that would need a stable home and environment.... And just by posting such an ad on this site makes me have some questions on several levels. And another thing is you being curious about this? This isn't contemplating a one night stand or buying a car... And "no offense men" but really? They just want to have fun and go home... Do you have any idea what it is to love a child, protect a child and care for one? It's a life commitment an obligation one that a man doesn't just knock you up or whatever term you want to use on here... At one point they'll want to know their dad... What are you going to tell them? Could you emagin being the child... Could you imagine one day your mom saying it was an idea and telling the story like this ones going to you? It would be heart breaking... This isn't a game.. So you really need to evaluate this situation!!! Things haunt and effect children.. And I agree get a puppy... The one guy wanting to be involved if he did is a good man.. But get to know a man and have a family and not just raise a child single its a lot hard work and struggle and you being single should know life's not easy.. Please consider all aspects.. I'm sorry for highly offending you but in this subject I could write a book on from several different points... Don't just get an idea and role with it because children do suffer from the sins of the parent... Whether they did drugs etc.. Everything goes around full circle and you just getting preg. By some dude he could make life look so colorful but 9 months from now your the one living with the choices you made. Behind every action there's a reaction!!!

So you all think she is crazy for bringing this up AND that it never happens?

Misty
I think you have asked an interesting question and received many well thought out answers. They all trend the same, so I would take the advice you were seeking and use it, mull it over, and wait a bit, sometimes in life timing needs to be right, for the best things to happen. Until then enjoy pleasing men and building a great reputation.

Yeah. Find a man (father for the child) that will stick around.

Only a fool would bite on this offer. Originally Posted by bc7274

Good advice.

nothing could go wrong, don draper had a provider mama and look where he ended up. children don't need a two parent, stable family and can practically raise themselves into well adjusted, productive human beings.

Legal issues? Uhm, no. None of that. I prefer to not be bound by any legal issues at all. I dont even see why that would be put into the equation. Originally Posted by Misti Ryder

Um....if you don't then perhaps a child isn't for you at the moment

Best of luck to you!

In life, there are always legal issues.

With that being said, I had noticed this topic a few months ago but everyone was being (well, somewhat) civil and I'm just getting caught back up.

This is my two cents ... and take it for what it's worth.

When I was in my 20's, the urge to procreate was strong. Not sure why. I certainly wasn't that maternal when I was younger, but there you have it.

I dated a lot. Lived with a few guys. And I would always think about how it would be to become a parent.

Then, I had a heart to heart talk with my godmother, who I admired very much. And I'll share with you what she told me. She said that having a child with a committed partner was difficult enough. But the odds of the child growing up, and remaining sane (alright ... this talk was over 30 years ago and so bear with me!) and healthy, was just better in a 2 parent household.

With that being said, I was also thinking (in my turbulent 20's) of having a child much like you are. Imagining what I would do. How I would dress him/her. Rules that I may or may not have. Ways I would educate this child. And other ways that I could make things work, financially. Activities ... the whole thing that most females consider when having a child. I cannot list them all.

And that was just that. Fantasy.

Fast forward 25 (+/-) years. I had a child as a single parent. I was older. Not that much wiser. And I've done the best that I can.

However, I can share with you that being a single parent isn't that easy, even as an older mom. Also, even though the father hasn't been in the picture, it was always in the back of my head that he could return and cause havoc.

In a way, with hindsight being 20/20 and all, it would have been nice if he had shown up a time or two. Helped out, etc. Even if a financial obligation wasn't in the cards, the emotional support would have been nice.

As it was, I HAD/have family support. So it was better for me than for some others.

But keep daydreaming about children. It's part of our inner need (Jung and that collective consciousness thing is working, if you believe in that theory) to want to fuck and create others. But since you're on birth control, I would suggest having a few more birthdays before making such a big commitment.

If you think that finding a life partner, while doing the work that we do, is difficult in your 20's, try being in your 40's as a single parent. It's really not possible. Or rarely.

So again, this is some cheap advice. Keep thinking of your options. I consider daydreaming about children along the same lines as daydreaming about your dream wedding, if that's your thing (never was mine).

But I'm an old sex worker. I've seen a lot. Frankly, the comment of "get a puppy" is a good one, although it was meant to be snarky.

I don't believe that having animals is a good precursor, or good practice (I've read some people do), for having a child. But if you cannot keep an animal healthy, with vaccinations, or vet upkeep with registration, etc. Then, take your time having a child.

And one last bit of advice: Having a child is more expensive than you could fathom at this time. And it NEVER gets cheaper. You think after diapers, it'll be less expensive to cloth your child. It's not.

Then, you think grade school will be less expensive because you won't have daycare. It isn't. Then you have other expenses.

And don't get me started about college. I'm still working (working full time) because of college. Well, and a few other reasons.

I liked your topic. It was certainly interesting. I've had several friends who have considered what you're considering over the years, including myself on some level.

But the total commitment, of having just one baby, is something that you'll never realize until after the fact. And sometimes, being a single mom with a baby really can suck, even when it's (mostly) wonderful.

Trust me on that one.

Take care,
Elisabeth

I just read this thread. Wow. This was not a train wreck but the Exon Valdez I have done this type deal with a few people over the years. It almost never goes as planed. The office manager nurse at my doctors office asked me to give her a sample cup full 24 years ago. She was married and her husband was not getting the job done ( found out years latter he had a secret vasectomy) . I ask her if she wanted that that I would the old fashion way. She dropped her scrubs and jumped up in the studios and said hurry up. Took 4 months. The laws has fine points about how the conception happened. If it's out of a jar it's still iffy. You stick a dick in her and you bought the results. This deal keep together for 15 years Then I spent a good amount of money on lawyers. An am paying for collage and a new car. There is a great site for this it's called. coParents.com
My gay girl that I race with. The one I wrote a review about her interactions with, has ask for a frozen sample for her future. She has a pair of butt ugly skinny gay girls that are married. They want 4 kids, each 6 months apart. They are prepared to pay good money , but the paperwork is comprensives. Don't think that you can't be fount. With so many ways to prove beyond a doubt it yours beware. I will always be glade for my child. Buy. ......,

Elisabeth speaks with great wisdom and insight on this issue. I applaud her for taking the time and and making effort to do so--a very nice thing to do indeed.

...Just think about it it's not just the magical daydream in your head it's hard with 2 parents with one it's moreso your lifestyle changes even before the arrival.

The average child as a baby costs a minimum 1k a month. Not including what needs to be added to savings in case of a emergency. That's a big lifestyle change at 22 with 2 parents not to mention you have to second think every and I mean every decision you make. From diapers they wear to foods they eat. Wipes none are equal and all children are different plus if your doing this and raising a child alone everyday is a risk. 1 small slip up can make a report filed as to your negligence and endangerment to the child. Even something as small as a speeding ticket you forgot to pay could cause a night in jail which leads daycare or babysitter or family to turn up a nose and file a report. Plus you can't go out till midnight your work schedule will have to modify to for the babies needs and well being. I had mine at 19 so I missed a lot of things I'm sure your doing as we speak. Traveling shoping sprees parties nightclubs friends it's hard you will gain a whole new life you solely are responsible for it becomes the reason you get up in the morning the reason you work pay everything on time because it depends on you... Not saying you don't already know that.. But look back on yourself as a child all the needs wants expectations you yourself had to and for your parents to love support shelter protect. Daydreaming is good fantisyzing is great. But before you decide to have one of your own and in the end it's just that tense the expression " mothers baby daddies maybe"" ( it's not a DNA joke ) it means in the end solely you are the main parent dads can walk out on a feeling. But that baby came from you.. Make sure your 100% ready to surrender your whole being and dedicate all time effort and loyalty to that baby. Because thatscwhats expected of a mother complete devotion to the upbringing of that new life.. Its hard to say I give up all my wants my plans in your 20s things you'll see your friends doing that you no longer get to because they have no responsibility to another life as you do. The term " Yolo" no longer applied in the same definition "young wild and free" is no longer in your vocabulary cause your not now you are a grown woman with true responsibility and 1 tiny mistake can and Wil not just impact your life but that child's as well. Good luck to you. In whatever you decide. I cannot say don't do it because baby fever set in all I can do is tell you from experience being a single parent any way you look at it is difficult to say the least best wishes.

Would you intend the baby be birthed vaginally or C-section?
What if you needed an emergency C?
Baby does have effects on mommies body.
Have a support system if you need post-partum assistance?
Just saying some things you should consider if they've not already been mentioned.

...Just think about it it's not just the magical daydream in your head it's hard with 2 parents with one it's moreso your lifestyle changes even before the arrival.



The average child as a baby costs a minimum 1k a month. Not including what needs to be added to savings in case of a emergency. That's a big lifestyle change at 22 with 2 parents not to mention you have to second think every and I mean every decision you make. From diapers they wear to foods they eat. Wipes none are equal and all children are different plus if your doing this and raising a child alone everyday is a risk. 1 small slip up can make a report filed as to your negligence and endangerment to the child. Even something as small as a speeding ticket you forgot to pay could cause a night in jail which leads daycare or babysitter or family to turn up a nose and file a report. Plus you can't go out till midnight your work schedule will have to modify to for the babies needs and well being. I had mine at 19 so I missed a lot of things I'm sure your doing as we speak. Traveling shoping sprees parties nightclubs friends it's hard you will gain a whole new life you solely are responsible for it becomes the reason you get up in the morning the reason you work pay everything on time because it depends on you... Not saying you don't already know that.. But look back on yourself as a child all the needs wants expectations you yourself had to and for your parents to love support shelter protect. Daydreaming is good fantisyzing is great. But before you decide to have one of your own and in the end it's just that tense the expression " mothers baby daddies maybe"" ( it's not a DNA joke ) it means in the end solely you are the main parent dads can walk out on a feeling. But that baby came from you.. Make sure your 100% ready to surrender your whole being and dedicate all time effort and loyalty to that baby. Because thatscwhats expected of a mother complete devotion to the upbringing of that new life.. Its hard to say I give up all my wants my plans in your 20s things you'll see your friends doing that you no longer get to because they have no responsibility to another life as you do. The term " Yolo" no longer applied in the same definition "young wild and free" is no longer in your vocabulary cause your not now you are a grown woman with true responsibility and 1 tiny mistake can and Wil not just impact your life but that child's as well. Good luck to you. In whatever you decide. I cannot say don't do it because baby fever set in all I can do is tell you from experience being a single parent any way you look at it is difficult to say the least best wishes. Originally Posted by Lovelyxxxo

I have a kid but I don't have custody of her. I was 19 when I had her. I was involved in an abusive relationship, my family got involved, & after I had her I lost custody of her at 6 months. She's 4 now & I still havent went back to court for her. Ive been trying to get better on a soul level.

Elisabeth speaks with great wisdom and insight on this issue. I applaud her for taking the time and and making effort to do so--a very nice thing to do indeed. Originally Posted by Dfwgent

I agree!

I just read this thread. Wow. This was not a train wreck but the Exon Valdez I have done this type deal with a few people over the years. It almost never goes as planed. The office manager nurse at my doctors office asked me to give her a sample cup full 24 years ago. She was married and her husband was not getting the job done ( found out years latter he had a secret vasectomy) . I ask her if she wanted that that I would the old fashion way. She dropped her scrubs and jumped up in the studios and said hurry up. Took 4 months. The laws has fine points about how the conception happened. If it's out of a jar it's still iffy. You stick a dick in her and you bought the results. This deal keep together for 15 years Then I spent a good amount of money on lawyers. An am paying for collage and a new car. There is a great site for this it's called. coParents.com
My gay girl that I race with. The one I wrote a review about her interactions with, has ask for a frozen sample for her future. She has a pair of butt ugly skinny gay girls that are married. They want 4 kids, each 6 months apart. They are prepared to pay good money , but the paperwork is comprensives. Don't think that you can't be fount. With so many ways to prove beyond a doubt it yours beware. I will always be glade for my child. Buy. ......, Originally Posted by RACE4GIRLS

Glade? Doesn't that mean an open space in a forest?

In life, there are always legal issues.

With that being said, I had noticed this topic a few months ago but everyone was being (well, somewhat) civil and I'm just getting caught back up.

This is my two cents ... and take it for what it's worth.

When I was in my 20's, the urge to procreate was strong. Not sure why. I certainly wasn't that maternal when I was younger, but there you have it.

I dated a lot. Lived with a few guys. And I would always think about how it would be to become a parent.

Then, I had a heart to heart talk with my godmother, who I admired very much. And I'll share with you what she told me. She said that having a child with a committed partner was difficult enough. But the odds of the child growing up, and remaining sane (alright ... this talk was over 30 years ago and so bear with me!) and healthy, was just better in a 2 parent household.

With that being said, I was also thinking (in my turbulent 20's) of having a child much like you are. Imagining what I would do. How I would dress him/her. Rules that I may or may not have. Ways I would educate this child. And other ways that I could make things work, financially. Activities ... the whole thing that most females consider when having a child. I cannot list them all.

And that was just that. Fantasy.

Fast forward 25 (+/-) years. I had a child as a single parent. I was older. Not that much wiser. And I've done the best that I can.

However, I can share with you that being a single parent isn't that easy, even as an older mom. Also, even though the father hasn't been in the picture, it was always in the back of my head that he could return and cause havoc.

In a way, with hindsight being 20/20 and all, it would have been nice if he had shown up a time or two. Helped out, etc. Even if a financial obligation wasn't in the cards, the emotional support would have been nice.

As it was, I HAD/have family support. So it was better for me than for some others.

But keep daydreaming about children. It's part of our inner need (Jung and that collective consciousness thing is working, if you believe in that theory) to want to fuck and create others. But since you're on birth control, I would suggest having a few more birthdays before making such a big commitment.

If you think that finding a life partner, while doing the work that we do, is difficult in your 20's, try being in your 40's as a single parent. It's really not possible. Or rarely.

So again, this is some cheap advice. Keep thinking of your options. I consider daydreaming about children along the same lines as daydreaming about your dream wedding, if that's your thing (never was mine).

But I'm an old sex worker. I've seen a lot. Frankly, the comment of "get a puppy" is a good one, although it was meant to be snarky.

I don't believe that having animals is a good precursor, or good practice (I've read some people do), for having a child. But if you cannot keep an animal healthy, with vaccinations, or vet upkeep with registration, etc. Then, take your time having a child.

And one last bit of advice: Having a child is more expensive than you could fathom at this time. And it NEVER gets cheaper. You think after diapers, it'll be less expensive to cloth your child. It's not.

Then, you think grade school will be less expensive because you won't have daycare. It isn't. Then you have other expenses.

And don't get me started about college. I'm still working (working full time) because of college. Well, and a few other reasons.

I liked your topic. It was certainly interesting. I've had several friends who have considered what you're considering over the years, including myself on some level.

But the total commitment, of having just one baby, is something that you'll never realize until after the fact. And sometimes, being a single mom with a baby really can suck, even when it's (mostly) wonderful.

Trust me on that one.

Take care,
Elisabeth Originally Posted by ElisabethWhispers

The court ruled my full custodial rights over to my mom when my baby was just 6 months. My mom had served me papers bc I was being neglectful. I would leave my daughter at my moms house & go to be with her dad even though he was abusive.
Fast forward 3 years & 6 months I'm still getting support from my moms & now my grandpa living a few blocks from my kid. About to start college to get a degree. I def cant handle another kid rn & am glad Ive taken the precautions to prevent that from happening

Um....if you don't then perhaps a child isn't for you at the moment

Best of luck to you! Originally Posted by Eva Damita

True blue

nothing could go wrong, don draper had a provider mama and look where he ended up. children don't need a two parent, stable family and can practically raise themselves into well adjusted, productive human beings. Originally Posted by darkwader

Idk who Don Draper is

Yeah. Find a man (father for the child) that will stick around. Originally Posted by 2dogs

I had a bad experience. Mines in prison rn.

Misty
I think you have asked an interesting question and received many well thought out answers. They all trend the same, so I would take the advice you were seeking and use it, mull it over, and wait a bit, sometimes in life timing needs to be right, for the best things to happen. Until then enjoy pleasing men and building a great reputation. Originally Posted by houston_switch

Will do

First of all in past life... This bring up a lot issues and mixed feelings... Your talking about a child a being that would need a stable home and environment.... And just by posting such an ad on this site makes me have some questions on several levels. And another thing is you being curious about this? This isn't contemplating a one night stand or buying a car... And "no offense men" but really? They just want to have fun and go home... Do you have any idea what it is to love a child, protect a child and care for one? It's a life commitment an obligation one that a man doesn't just knock you up or whatever term you want to use on here... At one point they'll want to know their dad... What are you going to tell them? Could you emagin being the child... Could you imagine one day your mom saying it was an idea and telling the story like this ones going to you? It would be heart breaking... This isn't a game.. So you really need to evaluate this situation!!! Things haunt and effect children.. And I agree get a puppy... The one guy wanting to be involved if he did is a good man.. But get to know a man and have a family and not just raise a child single its a lot hard work and struggle and you being single should know life's not easy.. Please consider all aspects.. I'm sorry for highly offending you but in this subject I could write a book on from several different points... Don't just get an idea and role with it because children do suffer from the sins of the parent... Whether they did drugs etc.. Everything goes around full circle and you just getting preg. By some dude he could make life look so colorful but 9 months from now your the one living with the choices you made. Behind every action there's a reaction!!! Originally Posted by Velvetangeltouch

I believe that cause it happened to me with my only child. Dad to her is grandpa. & he's 76 years old! He was also my dad growing up as well, still is. Her genetic dad is in prison.

There are always folks who feel a need to bully others or respond in mean spirited ways. Its a sport for them. But pay no mind to them. I think you asked and got lots of answers with a consistent theme of "heck no" and "think about this carefully". That's one of the things that makes this place interesting...there are folks who will give you genuine and thoughtful responses. Originally Posted by okiegirllover

I appreciate each & every one of them.

Yes, and she didn't go off on anyone either even though they were being rude and disrespectful to her. It seems like her reason for being here and for wanting a child is she just wants love and want to be loved. Children are the best and purest form of love that you can have, but you have to be mentally stable enough in order to love them back the way that they need you to love them back. That's the kicker. Misty I hope that you really think about your decision, decide whether or not you're going to be able to care for a child regardless of any situation regardless of what happens, put the child first before your own selfish needs. You will regret it for the rest of your life if you don't. Originally Posted by Hot to Trot Daphne

I thought about it & Im not ready for another child. I want to get thru college first

I once had a very attractive provider pretend to be interested in me as a boyfriend. I fell for it, and was told by a mutual friend that her plan was for me to get her pregnant and then get government aid and child support from me. She had done this several times before with success. After a few months and no pregnancy, she left. I never had the heart to tell her I'd had a vasectomy. Lol! Originally Posted by CuteOldGuy

Wow lol

Lady... Look inside yourself and try to figure out why you want a child.

Is it because you're lonely and you think that a child will be your friend and always by your side?

I'm just shooting in the dark here, so let's try to figure out your motives. Originally Posted by Simon Riley

Depression.

You might not think of all the scenarios, I had a FWB who had a boyfriend and I was married amazingly I still am. She suddenly had to move back to her home town and we ended the relationship right there no harm no foul, or so I though. 12 months go by and one of her friends who was actually my new FWB said I think I have a picture you need to see, staring back at me was the blue eyes me and damn near everyone in my family has. I fought for the next 3 months to see her and then for the next 3-1/2years for custody the parent child bond is strong and will even make a guy tell his wife he has been laying pipe in a different drill site. Don't think the bond will break that easy. I would knock you up but I would want the child. It would have to be all sister wife to work and I have blown that opportunity all to hell already. Originally Posted by 69lovr

Im with the whole sister wife thing

Now the question many guys who use a cover with her is "Did she poke a hole in the condom when I saw her?" Originally Posted by Guest112916

Def not

Selfish girl. All about you and what you want. You need to think about this. I hope this is only a "look at me" threAD Originally Posted by Smiling Jackie boy

I was raised an only child what u expect

You can't make this shit up lol

Very entertaining.

A hooker at 22 years old asks a question like this.

Let me call my attorney now while i still have money.

Just reading this post will get me part liability Originally Posted by Gotyour6

Thanks for not telling on me lol