Dirty nasty freakiest thing you ever did?

But did she shoot baby poo across the room, spit up in your mouth, drop baby poo in your hand, or even hurl not so fresh fish in your mouth?

Amateur!

Laughed when this thought entered my mind, and once again, I realize I mostly amuse myself, but wanted to share. Going against my impulse controls cause my "my pretty little head" is all mucked up and the crowd that hates needs more ammo..... so just know.....I kid, I kid.....LOL. Raining on parades ain't my thing, or who knows, maybe it is.....

Maybe about 10 years ago we had my SO cousin come down for the summer. She was about 21-22 at the time and was always game to play jokes on people. Well on did they started off with water balloons throwing they at each other and whoever got in the way. Well I played for and but and stopped I started watch tv and ended up dozing off on the couch. Well while I'm asleep she takes a big cup of water and pour it over my face!! I jump up like what the fuck!! And she runs off laughing. I told her I'll get her back. I few hours pass and my SO leaves to go to work. This is when I planned my revenge

I search the house for the biggest cup I could find. Filled it up and looked for her since she thought it was all over with. Well she is sitting in my room watching tv I walk in and immediately she knows something is up and starts screaming "NO" and jump under the bed spread. I grab the spread trying to pull it back so not to spill and this water on it and not her. Well she is laughing her ass off she tries and make an escape thur the other side of the bed and released the covers. This was my shot. Well we had a very high bed from the floor. And one side of it was only about a foot and a half from the wall. Well she slides off the bed head first on that side and gets stuck as I grab for her shirt to pour the water. When I did that I could hear her shirt tearing so I released it and grabbed at the back of her shorts. In an attempt to pull her up some.

Well her shorts started coming off!! And down she screamed again while still laugh, so I pulled some more and said now I got you and poured some of the water up her back and on her ass. She didn't do any except keep laughing and kicking saying I'm going to get you for this one. So I said ok well I'm going to make this one count. I grabbed her shorts and pulled to her knees and said damn then I pulled her up off the side of the bed. She didn't even reach for the shorts and I went face first between her legs and started eating her. She ask me to stop and then asked what time would my SO be back I replied at least 5 hours she said lock the door and we started fucking. This sneaking around fucking her went on for the reminder of that summer I often think back to that summer and just smile. She is married now with kids but that girl had some of the best pussy I ever had

Please stop posting your Penthouse Forums rejects. (and you left out the part where you say "I came quarts and quarts.")

Please stop posting your Penthouse Forums rejects. (and you left out the part where you say "I came quarts and quarts.") Originally Posted by JohnnyYanks

I like that

I've got some kid stories, but I'll pass on sharing them.

Just read about a fetish in Japan: licking doorknobs. Probably sounds pretty tame, but think about it.