dear abby...advice

Something is NOT right. You may end up "accidentally" falling into the ocean never to be seen again and the two ladies are each other's alibi.

It just seems so strange that the third person aspect of vacation seems so weird to everyone. We have done it so many times and we honestly prefer it.
Maybe the benefits are unknown to you guys/gals, here are a few;
1. Shopping, I hate shopping, I want it done and over with. The girls like to browse and take their time chit chat yada yada yada...So on that day it's a girls day and they do that while I do something I enjoy: fish, swim, jet ski, mud buggies, similar.
2. I'm older and always up early so I like to explore culture and art attractions...boring stuff to most. I do that and they sleep in then lounge or spa or do girly stuff.

Basically just imagine it like this, at any point vacation or home have you every be guilted or forced to do something you didn't want to? (that plays both ways)

Vacation with couples is cool too but has draw backs. Everyday is compromise on what to do or split up anyway. Somewhere in this mix I either end up somewhere I would rather not be, and deep down think the opposite is true too)
Maybe we are weird...or maybe I/we are greedy..or maybe you guys are missing out LOL.


I have an update from this weekend but not certain I can/want to share the full details... Cliff notes: no three way, no attraction, no setup, and hopefully no more games/probes

Keep in mind the board your posting on and what we do. The married men here are a bit paranoid and have to be to survive. A group of non hobby guys might give you very different advice.

B@h, is there a substantial age gap between you and the SO? If so, I can kinda see how the third wheel makes sense. Hell, it may make sense in any event if the two of you have a lot of different interests. My SO are similar in age and interests, so maybe that's why it sounded so odd to me.

Keep in mind the board your posting on and what we do. The married men here are a bit paranoid and have to be to survive. A group of non hobby guys might give you very different advice. Originally Posted by OldButStillGoing

Very true and a excellent call out. I mean I share that same paranoia and outside looking in it all makes total sense.

B@h, is there a substantial age gap between you and the SO? If so, I can kinda see how the third wheel makes sense. Hell, it may make sense in any event if the two of you have a lot of different interests. My SO are similar in age and interests, so maybe that's why it sounded so odd to me. Originally Posted by TinMan

The gap is on the border of substantial and not. I got my gray a a few years ago and she just got her first a few months back. The backgrounds, origins, and interest though are polar opposites so we are hallmarks of "opposites attract".

Sup Bored,

Although I hear what he's saying, I don't think I'm coming from hobby paranoia - just a lot of relationship experience. What was weird to me was not the taking of a third wheel for your wife to pal around with, it's the fact that she's new to your lives, and that your wife generates new friends to take periodically on trips.

I think, perhaps, it would be more common if she had a few longstanding friends which always came along, or, really, that you two had other couples you were friends with where the girls and guys all had enough in common to travel together.

If there's an age gap, then that would prolly explain the challenge of finding couples where everyone liked each other, and had enough in common, like Tin said. But does your wife keep her girlfriends well? Or does she cycle thru them? And if she keeps them, then why don't you travel with the established ones instead of the new? And if she doesn't keep them, then why is that?

Just curious? None of my business, and kinda gets the thread off track. Feel free to tell me to fuck off, or not even answer. But your situation was interesting.

Hey, I got an idea!! Maybe you need a buddy! I'll add on to your trip - a cool new friend of yours - and I'll have your back in this situation! And I'll "distract" this chick for ya! 3rd wheels need love, too!! Hahaha!

Have a good one bro!!
LnH

In my mind, this is either paranoid delusion or a blackmail situation waiting to happen. The problem is it is impossible to tell which.

Taking down you pics or profile won't help...if she plans to blackmail you she made sure she had copies before she started hinting. If they surface, deny deny deny.

If I'm you I am starting the "she is flirting with me" talk with your wife immediately. Create a reason for your wife to stop inviting her around or worse case, plant the seed that she is making stuff up because she can't have you in case the shit hits the fan.

In my mind, this is either paranoid delusion or a blackmail situation waiting to happen. The problem is it is impossible to tell which.

Taking down you pics or profile won't help...if she plans to blackmail you she made sure she had copies before she started hinting. If they surface, deny deny deny.

If I'm you I am starting the "she is flirting with me" talk with your wife immediately. Create a reason for your wife to stop inviting her around or worse case, plant the seed that she is making stuff up because she can't have you in case the shit hits the fan. Originally Posted by kingforaday

+1

My SO are similar in age and interests, so maybe that's why it sounded so odd to me. Originally Posted by TinMan

Your SO chases tail online, too?