Newbies Start Here

Tagging on a bit to Spanky's last post. Much of what you need to know can often be found in a lady's showcase. READ IT, don't just drool over the pics. Also, if a lady has a website, there is often an etiquette section. READ IT. It is there for a reason - following a lady's preferences helps make her more comfortable seeing you the first time. And the more comfortable she is, the better time both of you are going to have.

On another subject - if you have a functioning brain, you are going to be nervous the first time you play. It's perfectly normal and I sure was the first time I played. There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting a lady know that. Trust me, it won't be the first time she's seen a nervous guy. Telling her lets her address that issue instead of wondering if you are some sort of weirdo. These ladies are very talented at making that nervousness go away.

Again tagging on to Spanky - a lot of ladies prefer hotels where you are going to have to walk through a lobby. Look like you belong. Carry a computer bag or briefcase or something like that (but don't be surprised if she wants to make sure there is nothing harmful in it when you get in the room). Act like you own the place and have been there many times. It will help if you know where the elevators are so you are not wandering around lost so ask the lady. Remember that hotel staff don't work 24/7. They can't ID every guest at a point in time. Act like a guest. If they make eye contact or say "good morning/afternoon/evening", give them a big smile as you look them in the eye and return the greeting.

Hey, one of the newbies here. This thread has definitely helped a lot. I've got a question about the reviews here. I got my first experience with the hobby last night but she was not on this site. She advertised her phone number in her ad but that's all I have as far as contact info goes for a possible review. All that to ask this, are reviews on this site only for women who are registered on this site or is it open to other independents as well?

Hey, one of the newbies here. This thread has definitely helped a lot. I've got a question about the reviews here. I got my first experience with the hobby last night but she was not on this site. She advertised her phone number in her ad but that's all I have as far as contact info goes for a possible review. All that to ask this, are reviews on this site only for women who are registered on this site or is it open to other independents as well? Originally Posted by Hedonist218

Other ladies outside eccie are often reviewed. I believe these reviews are most appropriate for the "Other Reviews" forum but you'll frequently see them in the "Independent Provider Reviews" forum as well.

In fact, if I recall correctly, I believe a lady wanting to be a Verified Provider needs a review from an eccie member. Not 100% sure though. So of course in that situation, non-eccie reviews would have to be permitted.

Hey, one of the newbies here. This thread has definitely helped a lot. I've got a question about the reviews here. I got my first experience with the hobby last night but she was not on this site. She advertised her phone number in her ad but that's all I have as far as contact info goes for a possible review. All that to ask this, are reviews on this site only for women who are registered on this site or is it open to other independents as well? Originally Posted by Hedonist218

When Posting the review, list both the link for the Ad where you found her and the Phone number in the review.

Other ladies outside eccie are often reviewed. I believe these reviews are most appropriate for the "Other Reviews" forum but you'll frequently see them in the "Independent Provider Reviews" forum as well.

In fact, if I recall correctly, I believe a lady wanting to be a Verified Provider needs a review from an eccie member. Not 100% sure though. So of course in that situation, non-eccie reviews would have to be permitted. Originally Posted by SpankyJ

While it is preferred that a review be from an Eccie member, it is not a requirement.

The Verified Provider Process notes that the Ads/Reviews can be from any web site.

Additionally, there is no requirement to place the review in the "Other Reviews".

Generally, the "Other Reviews" Forum is used for those daring Hobbyists who live for the thrill of trolling the Streets looking for the "Ladies on the Corner".

That forum has also been utilized to review the TS Providers in other locations.


Biomed1

When Posting the review, list both the link for the Ad where you found her and the Phone number in the review.


While it is preferred that a review be from an Eccie member, it is not a requirement.

The Verified Provider Process notes that the Ads/Reviews can be from any web site.

Additionally, there is no requirement to place the review in the "Other Reviews".

Generally, the "Other Reviews" Forum is used for those daring Hobbyists who live for the thrill of trolling the Streets looking for the "Ladies on the Corner".

That forum has also been utilized to review the TS Providers in other locations.


Biomed1 Originally Posted by biomed1

Aha, thanks for the clarification.

As a newbie, one of your priorities needs to be collecting some references so that non-newbie friendly providers will see you - perhaps unless you have P411, in which case your Okays will often serve as your reference. Even then, it's good to have some references handy in case you don't yet have the number of Okays a provider requires or wish to see someone not on P411.

Some providers will offer to be a reference for you after you've seen them. If not, it's okay to ask if they will.

A note about reference etiquette: References don't last forever. Many ladies don't want to be a reference beyond a certain period of time after the last time you've seen them. Six months is the number I've most frequently heard, but there are ladies that have both longer and shorter reference horizons. If in doubt, ask.

On those few occasions when I've needed to send anyone references (because they were not yet on P411), here is what I've sent:

eccie handle (if contacting by email or P411)
Reference provider name and email
Link to reference provider's showcase

I do not send the reference provider's phone number because some providers do not want it shared, even with other providers. They have ways to contact each other, so it is not necessary or desirable to send phone number in my opinion.

The most common amount of references requested is two. Once you have a few, I'd send more if you have them. Why, if she only requires two? Because if she's having trouble getting in touch with one of your references, it may speed things up if she has other options to try.

If you're curious about what your references will say about you, it's generally not much more than telling the other provider you are safe to see. Not critiquing your performance or anything like that - although if you did something in a prior appointment that annoyed your reference provider or violated her etiquette guidelines in some way, she may mention that even if she says you're safe to see. In general though, there's really not much to it. Just verification that she's seen you and you're safe.

There are a few downsides to references:

• As already noted, they don't generally last forever, so you need to stay on top of keeping them fresh, which can be a challenge if you don't hobby very often.
• Most providers are reference friendly, but not all. Some may not be willing to give a reference.
• Even for providers who are reference friendly, there may be certain providers they won't give a reference to due to prior personal conflict with them. Also, some providers may not accept a reference from certain other providers.
• References may not travel well - providers from your local area may be less likely to give references to providers they don't know in other locales, and providers in other cities may not accept references from providers they don't know in your home city.
• I would not say this is common, and I very much hope it isn't, but it's not unheard of for a provider to give a "no" reference (or just not respond) and reach out to the prospective client to try to poach the appointment from the provider that asked for the reference. You don't want to be in the middle of that. I am positive that the reputable ladies I've seen would never dream of doing anything like this, but I've heard of it happening on occasion so it's worth being aware of.

Once again, I think P411 largely solves all of this. P411 Okays never expire. P411 requires providers to give them as long as the session happened and there were no conditions (abusive behavior, etc) that would justify refusal to give an okay. In my experience they are accepted just fine by providers outside your home territory.

I've had to use references only a couple of times because of being a P411 member and having a good amount of okays there. I find P411 superior system to using references and it certainly makes things easier, but if you choose to do without it, the above guidelines should help you get and keep your references in order.

Providers, since I use P411 I would not say I'm an expert in references, this is just what I've learned from talking to many of you. It would be most welcome if I've misstated anything for you to correct or clarify, as well as add any of your own thoughts about proper reference procedures.

Again touching on one of Spanky's points - until you are well established here, it is generally always best to contact a lady via a PM here or on P411 rather than through a text. Anybody can claim to be anybody in a text. On two different occasions I have had ladies I know contact me to see if my number had changed because someone texted them claiming to be me. PMing her gives her something to tie to you. As a newbie, you are gonna need that with a reputable lady - and those are the ones you want to see. Remember - her being ultra careful does not only protect her - it very well might help to protect you.

No. Congratulations, you're the target demographic!

I don't see this type of question posted publicly on eccie much but I get PMs about it on occasion, and also I see it pretty frequently on hobby-related subreddits, so I know it's on some newbies' minds.

The reality is that for the most part none of this matters much as long as you're clean, respectful, and discreet. Larger gentlemen are advised to pay particular heed to the hygiene section of this guide, because it can be harder for them to get thoroughly clean, and they also may tend to perspire more: https://www.eccie.net/showpost.php?p...5&postcount=13

As far as age goes, you may actually have a harder time as a younger gent - I've seen where more providers have stated minimum age thresholds than anything else. From what I've been told it's because many younger clients are perceived as being rude, entitled, and cheap, as opposed to older men who are regarded as easier, more polite, and more generous. Of course this is a stereotype and I'm not saying it's always correct either from the younger or older perspective, but if you're on the young side you may have to try a little harder to make sure you don't come across as having those characteristics.

As far as your endowment, it's fine. I can't imagine a provider making an issue of it.

Of course this is speaking in general and it's possible you might encounter a provider who does have an issue with some of these characteristics. Just move on in that case - there are plenty that don't.

As far as Backpage, there is nothing inherently wrong with another venue to advertise - and no guarantees with ECCIE. But until a newbie learns what he is doing and what to look for, BP is much more dangerous than here. Originally Posted by watchoutthegameisrigged

I think the main problem with Backpage is the lack of feedback loops (and I certainly agree that it is much more dangerous than here). Here, if serious problems arise they will generally be known pretty quickly, either in the form of an alert in the Alerts forum or posts in the private mens' and ladies' forums. Since nothing like that exists on Backpage - or even the ability to comment on anyone's ads - it is much easier for scams to be perpetrated repeatedly. And of course even if there aren't out-and-out scams like cash and dash, fake pictures seem to be about as common as real ones so bait and switch is a prevalent issue. Add in the high propensity of LE to conduct their stings there and it's no wonder so many avoid it. It's why there are so many requests for information about Backpage ladies here - it's using eccie as a substitute feedback loop in the absence of that functionality there.

Great point about the feedback loop here. And to clarify, there are perfectly fine ECCIE and P411 providers that also use BP. But I am ultra cautious of providers that use BP alone, for the reasons Spanky mentioned. There is no built in accountability there.

Many clients wish to keep their hobby and non-hobby lives firewalled from each other, for various reasons. Not using your personal phone (or Zeus forbid, work phone - ask Hugh Freeze) to conduct hobby business is one of the ways to keep the worlds from colliding.

Here are some options:

A dedicated hobby (or "burner" phone), such as a Tracfone or GoPhone

Pros: The phone is physically separate from your normal cell phone, meaning that you will never have the possibility of say, accidentally texting hobby business to an SO or other person outside the hobby (unless you are silly enough to put them in your contacts). There is nothing on your regular phone to give away your activities to any phone snoopers. If you pay for the phone and the minutes in cash, it can't be linked to you via payment methods.

Cons: You have a separate device, which may need to be concealed from others. Even if not, it can be annoying to keep up with two physical devices. Typically you pay as you go and do not have unlimited texts. You may find that the texts run out faster than you think, and in the case of the Tracfone (at least the ones I've used), they do not proactively notify you when you are out of texts. You just stop sending and receiving them, and wonder why no one is getting back to you. One more minor quibble, most if not all of these will be Android phones where the emojis suck!

A virtual phone number, such as Google Voice

Pros: No dedicated hobby phone to keep up with / conceal. Google Voice is free, and it's easy to use. You get a separate phone number and can text and make calls just like with your cell phone, along with voicemail if you want to use it. It can be used from a computer, and using the Google Voice app can be used on your existing cell phone, but any calls or texts will come from the Google Voice number. Texts and domestic calls are unlimited. I believe there may be a charge for international calls.

Cons: Vulnerable to snooping if used as an app on your personal cell phone. Also, per Google it needs to be linked to a real phone number, meaning that it could be tied back to your real world identity unless the real phone number it's linked to is attached to a burner phone purchased with cash. Also, like with all things Google your information is surely being mined for the purposes of targeted marketing. Even if using a secondary Google account, it is almost a certainty that Google has it linked to your primary Google account that may contain personal information.

A burner app (search your app store for 'burner' to get app names)

Pros: No dedicated hobby phone to carry around and keep up with / conceal. Offers basic cell phone functionality - calls and texts. Separate phone number from your real world cell number.

Cons: Free versions exist but may cost money and perhaps a monthly fee for extended usage or features. Vulnerable to snooping if someone has access to your phone. If the app uses the native phone messaging interface, it can look very much like other messages you're sending and you might send to the wrong person. I have heard that certain apps may sometimes experience a lag between times when messages are sent and received, both inbound and outbound.

There is no single right answer here, look at the pros and cons and figure out what phone option fits your lifestyle and security needs best.

Some thoughts about broadening your horizons:

When you first start, you may focus on showcases of providers you perceive to be your 'type'. That is natural and understandable - but I think a thing to keep in mind is that your 'type' may be largely dictated by your prior experience. I was fortunate to spend time with some providers early on that were far different from any ladies I'd been with in the past, and it woke me up to the fact that one of the beautiful things about this hobby is that you can have experiences with people very different than yourself. As you grow in the hobby, I'd encourage you to keep an eye out for those opportunities. Spend time with ladies of different body types and sizes, different ethnicities, perhaps tattoos if you're not used to that. Some of my very favorite ladies now are ones that might not have been on my radar when first starting out. It's OK to have preferences, but try not to be constrained by them. You may miss out on some great providers and great times otherwise.

Don't want to encounter the long arm of the law? Take ShysterJon's advice:

https://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=2157018

By the way, I hope this isn't coming off as me thinking I'm some kind of all-knowing hobby whiz. I promise I don't think of myself that way. There are guys here - some of whom have posted in this thread - that have way more experience than I do. I was just a newbie a short enough time ago that I still remember what it's like, but have had a reasonable amount of experience and learning since then so wanted to give something back, because people (both other hobbyists and providers) certainly helped me when I was starting out.

I don't think you are "know it all Spanky". I do think your thoughts are well organized. So I'm just coming in around the edges, scatter shooting to add to your points and adding
points on top of yours, perhaps a few points you haven't addressed in my view. We could damn near write a book on this subject. It's nice to see a few newbies saying this is helpful. Ladies have not chimed in but I suspect they are happy we are at least trying to make their lives a tad bit easier.