Pards the solution to your apparent issues won't be found here. As a matter of fact this is probably the last place you should look. There are professionals that can help you.
Originally Posted by TheRealJohnnyRingo
As uncool as it is to quote ones self I'll leave this theater of the absurd the same way I entered it with advice that's worth what you paid for it.
I would make the last time you logged on here the last time you logged on here for a very long time...
Many comments you've made have been quite frankly disturbing and indicate you might be coming a bit unhinged.
If you truly are " better than this" as you've stated please prove it to yourself and us and permanently disappear. It appears to me to be the very best formula for all concerned, especially you.
Best of luck to you