Her Greatest Fear

Ok now That's a bit dramatic. Originally Posted by Zabrina Sarafina

Oh, he's just getting warmed up.

Oh come now.

Dramatic, yes, but true nonetheless.

. . . It has happened to very close friends and I am not talking about weak men, but very tough Marines who were strong enough to survive war, but yet could not handle their wives or girlfriends leaving them and ended the unbearable pain by putting a gun to their own head and shattered the lives of their family.

Ok now That's a bit dramatic. But yes co-dependency can turn into a serious psychological problem Originally Posted by Zabrina Sarafina

Can't. Breathe. Tears. Tears streaming down my face.

Oh my.

1. Rape

2. Arrest

3. Being killed

4. Being roofied or drugged.

5. Getting an STD

6. Getting a stalker

7. Becoming jaded

9. Losing hope in relationships and civilian men in general.

10. Losing my kids

Although losing my kids is my top worst fear.

Losing your kids is your worst fear?

. . . Then why did you write it last on your list?

When puberty hits the kids everyone wants them to go away. The problem is no one will take them.

Losing your kids is your worst fear?

. . . Then why did you write it last on your list?


Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

Putting the most important thing last is a common stylistic choice; the last thing written is also the last thing read, and will stick with the reader longest.

In any case, when interpreting a text, it's fairly common practice to take that which is stated *outright* over that which you can read into style or semantics.

Well, I suppose that losing her kids can be a valid concern for some providers.

I used to see this knockout provider who was involved in a protracted custody battle trying to win her kids back.

Apparently, when her mother found out she was an escort, she used that against her and won custody of her kids. I didn't think mothers would do such a thing to their own daughters, but I can see how she would justify it in her own mind.

. . . Things can really get ugly when your own family takes you to court and claims custody of your children, but I didn't think this was a very common problem. Is it? What can be done about it?

Feart: a fear of farts. Originally Posted by cabletex7

i had that happen

1. Rape

2. Arrest

3. Being killed

4. Being roofied or drugged.

5. Getting an STD

6. Getting a stalker

7. Becoming jaded

9. Losing hope in relationships and civilian men in general.

10. Losing my kids

Although losing my kids is my top worst fear. Originally Posted by Malaya

I FEEL U ON THST ONE

Losing hope is a common problem in today's world.

. . . That is a mental condition brought on by hanging out with the wrong people and thinking along the same lines.

Losing hope is a common problem in today's world.

. . . That is a mental condition brought on by hanging out with the wrong people and thinking along the same lines.
Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

Losing hope is a common problem in today's world.

. . . That is a mental condition brought on by hanging out with the wrong people and thinking along the same lines.
Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

I'm really trying to figure you out on this thread. It is as if you want to play shrink, but in many cases you don't really have much of a clue what you are talking about.

Yes, losing hope IS a common problem in today's world. But to dismiss it with a trivial wave of the hand and tell a person, "It's your own fault for your choice of friends" is far too simplistic. Why not just come out and say it, "Mental illness is all in a person's head, it isn't a real problem. If they don't want to be mentally ill, all they have to do is change their attitude and approach to life."

It might be nice if the world was that way, and it is likely true in SOME cases, but for you to generalize that way is as ignorant a statement as many of your others on this thread. For example, your unwillingness to differentiate between a statement like, "Reall falling really in love" with a newbie unable to distinguish among "really in love", "falling in lust", or simple infatuation that clouds the mind. To you they seem all the same thing. And your unwillingness to actually see providers as people (as in post #44)--you say some very valid points but somehow you think they only apply to escorts. Everything you say is a real issue between men & women, and the fact that the lady is an escort changes essentially nothing in the chemistry of emotions. Why do you think a man should protect his heart from an escort any more than from the hot neighbor across the hall or the young intern at his place of business who thinks she can sleep wih the boss as a way to get ahead?

And while referring to your suicide comments in #44 (which I agree are valid for the thread you started), why are they different from my suicide reference earlier in the thread that you claimed was inappropriate?

Your comments about child custody is another area you are relatively clueless. It happens far more that you seem to think, often by irate ex-husbands, ex-BFs, or parents who often don't really care one bit about the kids they just see it as a weapon of revenge against the lady. What can be done to change that? Decriminalize or legalize it. That is what gives the (usually) men the leverage to go after custody in most cases.


You started what I believe is a very good thread--now you can make it even better by not feeling compelled to pass a value judgement on whether you believe everyone else's fears are justified. Fear is often very personal and individual, and based upon thie specific past experiences--which in general you do not know. The woman--escort or not--who was raped by three men in elephant suits is likely to have a very real fear of elephants, and you telling that it's irrational does very little good if any.

I got off the phone earlier today with a very close friend, a lady I've know well more than ten years. She is successful enough in this business, well liked, was exceptionally highly reviewd a couple years ago--before she went UTR and semi-retired. She lights up the room whem she walks it the room. She's had a couple serious mariage proposals from clients.

I spent two hours on the phone with her. If I could have found a flight this evening I would be on my way there now. I tried to convince her to call the suicide prevention line for herself, but I don't know if I was successful. For the past four hours her phone rings with no answer. Nor does anyone answer her daughter's phone. She is so scared that she is seriously contemplating taking her life tonight.

What is this beautiful, young, energetic woman afraid of? She is afraid of being alone and unloved. Afraid that the only way she knows how to earn enough to take care of her kids makes her an outcast to society and unloved. Unlovable.

Some people are so absorbed in the fantasy they never see the person.

I can think of few things that would scare me more than feeling I was unloveable. Unless it's hearing the cries and screams of a friend too far away to touch. Originally Posted by Old-T

Best post that I have seen on ECCIE in quite a while. I did not read through the entire thread, but I sincerely hope your friend made it through the night and is on the road to getting better. With fiends like you she certainly has a chance to turn things around. Wishing you and your friend all the best that life has to offer......