Is having a relationship hard as a provider?

Just curious, but do you feel the same way about say swingers couples then? If the husband is ok with the wife having sex with other dudes (and vice versa), does that mean they're liers/losers? Originally Posted by jbravo_123

LOL no...Swinger are in a different catagory. Its not cheating if both parties are involved and are in agreement. ( my way of thinking)

That's the problem jbravo most are because they don't tell their so's that they are seeing others.

Swingers have an agreement with each other which makes them honest with each other. Being honest and understanding of the other's needs, desires, and wants are part of relationships.

Also anyone who thinks sex is a need is just shitting themselves and use that line of bs to make what they do more accepting. Originally Posted by Eccie Addict

LOL no...Swinger are in a different catagory. Its not cheating if both parties are involved and are in agreement. ( my way f thinking) Originally Posted by SexyCassandra

I know, that's what I'm saying. To me, as long as you're open with your relationship and honest with each other, then fuck what other people thing.

If a sex worker and their SO are open with each other about what she does and the SO says he's ok with it, there's no reason to think he's not telling the truth unless something proves otherwise.

I was actually in a similar situation. I was casually seeing a provider. We had alot of fun hanging out and the sex was great. Actually the sex was pretty freaking awesome lol! Anyway we started to have feelings for eachother and I felt like it was time for her to quit the biz. I got her a decent job at this place where my cousin was the manager and since this job wasn't going to pay her what she was used to making I told her I'd help her out with whatever she needed, as long as she kept the job and stopped providing. Well this wench only went to work two days and quit and was basically expecting me to support her. I was disappointed that she didn't even make an effort to work and she ended up going right back to providing. We continued on as fuck buddies for a little while but I was turned off on the whole thing and we stopped seeing each other not long after that.

I still look back on that situation and wonder what I did wrong or how things got so effed up, but oh well.

Monogamy is a weird concept. I think a lot of people define it by sex, but it's really more of an emotional/mental thing.

As for providers/relationships, even if you are just dating and not supporting each other, I think most conversations naturally gravitate towards what peoples day-to-day lives are, and for most people, that is work. I can't imagine having to try to moderate every single anecdote, bitch session, general chit chat I have about work on a regular basis just to censor out my actual profession.

I am in IT though, so hey, easy for me to say.

If a sex worker and their SO are open with each other about what she does and the SO says he's ok with it, there's no reason to think he's not telling the truth unless something proves otherwise. Originally Posted by jbravo_123

That's just it. It's not about being OK with it.....it's about being happy with it.....for a lasting relationship.

I was actually in a similar situation. I was casually seeing a provider. We had alot of fun hanging out and the sex was great. Actually the sex was pretty freaking awesome lol! Anyway we started to have feelings for eachother and I felt like it was time for her to quit the biz. I got her a decent job at this place where my cousin was the manager and since this job wasn't going to pay her what she was used to making I told her I'd help her out with whatever she needed, as long as she kept the job and stopped providing. Well this wench only went to work two days and quit and was basically expecting me to support her. I was disappointed that she didn't even make an effort to work and she ended up going right back to providing. We continued on as fuck buddies for a little while but I was turned off on the whole thing and we stopped seeing each other not long after that.

I still look back on that situation and wonder what I did wrong or how things got so effed up, but oh well. Originally Posted by coolaid

Many women do not want to feel dependent on someone else for their daily and long term futures. Beyond the feeling of insecurity, the worry about feeling like you have no power in the relationship and that you have to 'ask' for things can be a truly negative emotion.

That's just it. It's not about being OK with it.....it's about being happy with it.....for a lasting relationship. Originally Posted by Sarunga

YES sir!

I know, that's what I'm saying. To me, as long as you're open with your relationship and honest with each other, then fuck what other people thing.

If a sex worker and their SO are open with each other about what she does and the SO says he's ok with it, there's no reason to think he's not telling the truth unless something proves otherwise. Originally Posted by jbravo_123

This is a little twist in my first post. This is a completely different scenario. Your talking about an open life style .Provider already has a SO.


I was asking if it is possible to successfully have companionship (not paid) as a Provider. Yes Fast gunn had a good response about labeling myself as.
I was looking for someone to share quality time with..That wouldn't get upset if he found out I was/were a Provider. I am not looking to be a Sugar Momma nor am I looking for a Sugar daddy. I am looking for an open minded older gentleman that can accept me for who I am and what I do. I am not looking for no serious relationship. So I would not depend on this person other than spending time together and laughing. So what i do shouldn't concern him too much . As I can pay my own bills. I have gotten a lot of response to just hook up with a hobbyist. I do not think that would be wise either. I am not looking to be played or play any games. I just hope there is an ordinary man out there that is established like myself has goals and no baby momma drama crazy ex etc. I would like to share with him the truth about everything. I know starting any relation ship friend or romantic is #1 honesty. I read another response " Ask me no questions" I tell you no lies" eventually everything comes out and he might get his feeling hurt. I am really enjoying reading the responses in this thread.

Mi senora, luv your theme song. That's def you! You go girl... Originally Posted by TheDr

SOOOO me. come here so I can give you a lil remider just how bad I am. Not that you need one but it would still be fun

That's just it. It's not about being OK with it.....it's about being happy with it.....for a lasting relationship. Originally Posted by Sarunga

There are plenty of relationships that work without both people being happy about what the other does. Sometimes one party in the relationship has a job that makes them work more hours than the other likes. Sometimes one party works for a company that the other doesn't care for.

Each relationship is different. Some guys can't handle their SO being a provider. That's fair. However, I would posit that there are some guys who accept that and are fine with that and the relationship is ok without them being all hooray happy about it.

This is a little twist in my first post. This is a completely different scenario. Your talking about an open life style .Provider already has a SO.


I was asking if it is possible to successfully have companionship (not paid) as a Provider. Yes Fast gunn had a good response about labeling myself as.
I was looking for someone to share quality time with..That wouldn't get upset if he found out I was/were a Provider. I am not looking to be a Sugar Momma nor am I looking for a Sugar daddy. I am looking for an open minded older gentleman that can accept me for who I am and what I do. I am not looking for no serious relationship. So I would not depend on this person other than spending time together and laughing. So what i do shouldn't concern him too much . As I can pay my own bills. I have gotten a lot of response to just hook up with a hobbyist. I do not think that would be wise either. I am not looking to be played or play any games. I just hope there is an ordinary man out there that is established like myself has goals and no baby momma drama crazy ex etc. I would like to share with him the truth about everything. I know starting any relation ship friend or romantic is #1 honesty. I read another response " Ask me no questions" I tell you no lies" eventually everything comes out and he might get his feeling hurt. I am really enjoying reading the responses in this thread. Originally Posted by SensualSpecialist

I generally feel that honesty is the best policy in a relationship so if you're going to try to start something that may evolve into something more serious (even a strong friendship), I think it'd probably be best to be honest up front especially with something like this that would likely be a dealbreaker for a lot of men.

Again, to each their own though so if you decide that it's better to lie about it up front or not mention it until later, that's fine too. The above is just my opinion on the matter.

You could just say you aren't comfortable talking about work at this time. Go from there....

If you havent cheated yet wellllllll.....You will there is first time for everything. ijs Originally Posted by SexyCassandra

No. Don't see it happening. I guess it could, but it's not really me. But more than that, it's not really anyone in my social circle.

I do understand a lot of people have affairs, but it's not 100%.

Tough one. . . . . .

For what you say you want, I don't see any reason to be forthcoming about your profession. It would freak a lot of people out, and, again, if you mean what you say, if he finds out and freaks, then move on to the next "friend with benefits". Plus if you have a bad breakup, he could cause real trouble for you if he knows much about what you do.

Once real feelings start to come into play, at least on your part, then it's time for full disclosure.

In terms of marriage or an LTR, I think it would be a rare couple who can succeed while the woman continues working as a provider. As others have suggested, I would think that you need to quit if the 2 of you want a monogamous relationship. If both of you are up for swinger relationship/open marriage, then I would imagine that could work. All these would likely be even more difficult to make work than a more conventional relationship, but none are impossible.

I am very happily married, but my wife and I have agreed that discreet play by either of us is OK, as long as it is done in a respectful way (we both travel, so generally that is when play occurs).

I have played for 15 years now and have met one provider who, if I were single, would definitely explore the possibility of an open marriage/LTR with, but expecting her to stop being a paid provider. There are 2 or 3 others for whom it might have been a consideration upon knowing them better. They were all super smart (an absolute requirement for me), and emotionally positive and stable. There are many, many others who were delightful to spend time with, but wouldn't have been a prospective partner for a variety of reasons.

Interesting variation on a topic which pops up now and then.

There are plenty of relationships that work without both people being happy about what the other does. Sometimes one party in the relationship has a job that makes them work more hours than the other likes. Sometimes one party works for a company that the other doesn't care for. Originally Posted by jbravo_123

All good points.

Each relationship is different. Some guys can't handle their SO being a provider. That's fair. However, I would posit that there are some guys who accept that and are fine with that and the relationship is ok without them being all hooray happy about it. Originally Posted by jbravo_123

Well, IF we get into a relationship looking for happiness....and there are elements that make it just OK...or make us unhappy....then, that relationship may not last for long.

I was asking if it is possible to successfully have companionship (not paid) as a Provider.
Yep...happens all the time. Just have to kiss a lot of frogs to find one that will work with you.
I have known several ladies for 6-10 years in a similar relationship as what you are describing.

Yes Fast gunn had a good response about labeling myself as.
I was looking for someone to share quality time with..That wouldn't get upset if he found out I was/were a Provider. I am not looking to be a Sugar Momma nor am I looking for a Sugar daddy. I am looking for an open minded older gentleman that can accept me for who I am and what I do. I am not looking for no serious relationship. So I would not depend on this person other than spending time together and laughing.
But you must understand, the guy is a victim of the culture, just as you are...
If there were no stigma in providing, You would not be concerned about it
And if he knew up front, this was just a friendly connection with a lady that has more than MAD skills in bed... he should not have a problem with that either.
Except for the culture we are struggling under.

So what i do shouldn't concern him too much . As I can pay my own bills. I have gotten a lot of response to just hook up with a hobbyist. I do not think that would be wise either. I am not looking to be played or play any games. I just hope there is an ordinary man out there that is established like myself has goals and no baby momma drama crazy ex etc. I would like to share with him the truth about everything. I know starting any relation ship friend or romantic is #1 honesty.
Also consider your reaction to his occupation...
If he is a garbage collector, or a hitman for hire...how about an IRS agent...what if he was a pastor at a local church or had some other unusual form of income...
Would you wish to be involved with that kind of person...
Again...our culture is blocking our progress.

I read another response " Ask me no questions" I tell you no lies" eventually everything comes out and he might get his feeling hurt. I am really enjoying reading the responses in this thread. Originally Posted by SensualSpecialist

Here is my only advice....be sure you limit the number of times you connect with whoever this is...absence makes the heart grow fonder...
Being around underfoot all the time, kills the fun in what you are trying to do.

Best of luck on that...
L8r
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