Men: I am seeking understanding

... its always when a lady has an insatiable sexual performance when the total donation is tampered with.... Originally Posted by Eva Damita

Well ... not always.

I wish there was an unspoken agreement that business is handled first and not thought about. Originally Posted by Kandy Kelly

There is, well with ME there is.

If all hobbyists would just put themselfs in the providers shoes, just for a min or 2. You know as well as I do, she is thinking about that money, she wants that money, she needs that money, so why prolong that state of mind and make her wait until the end of the session? Don't let your session suffer for that duration.

I know why, because you are eliminating the RISK of cash-n-dash AND you are thinking, if she don't get paid first, she will work harder. Neither side wants to get cheated, shorted, robbed, or cash-n-dash. And don't try to tell me that it is just newbies or BP. I have read about veterans pulling shady chit too. Maybe hobbyists should put the donation in plain sight, AFTER the shower OR she can shower with us. That would eliminate the possibilty of cash-n-dash.

If everyone would just follow the unspoken agreement that business is handled first and not thought about, we would ALL be alot better off.

CG

ooh so Sexy H-sorry bout that, but their are people-losers-that take advantage
of good hearted people-ur lax-comfortable,easy going, laid back let's have fun-
sometimes bredes opportunities 4 this kind of loser-whomever it is-hopefully
he'll come 2 his senses and do the "RIGHT THING"- wishing u well always

I agree with Lacy. Give it a day or so, see what happens. Send him a PM. If he doesn't respond, then out his ass. That's ridiculous and uncalled for. If it was a legit mistake, he'll make it right ASAP, if not then post his username all over this forum

As a general rule, I am not going to start handing over the money before services are rendered. I may make exceptions in certain cases, but I had enough bad experiences early on in my hobby career that you will never see me adopt this "unspoken rule". I believe human decency and the risk of universal condemnation should be enough to prevent me from fucking over a provider.

I also recognize there are very few guys that care about board reps and such, so I'm probably in limited company in that regard.

I always expect that I am to leave the donation immediately upon entering the room where BCD will be taking place. In fact, the last provider I saw gave me specific instructions for how she wanted this to take place (where I was to set it, etc) via PM and also confirmed what the donation amount should be. I was not offended by this at all - it avoided any confusion that could have altered the tone of the session. That part of the session is business, and in my opinion it is best to get the business out of the way before the fun begins.

Very sorry this happened to you and hope it never happens again.

I always leave the envelope up front. If I ever felt like I needed to hang onto the envelope until the end to guarantee good service I'd be more angry at myself for not doing my research on who I was with than anything else.

There is a problem with this however, and I'm not sure how to deal with it sometimes. I don't carry anything into a meeting with me except my car keys and the envelope so if I am inclined to tip afterwards I can't. If I remember maybe I'll bring the tip next time (if there's a next time) but I guess that is the trade off for her not having to worry about a no pay situation.

I really do not feel comfortable pulling cash out of my pocket and handing it over, just seems crass to me.

I'll add another thought to this discussion. Again, this responsibility falls within the domain of the gentleman.

I think building a relationship of trust prior to the appointment is imperative. TCB skills, while important for both the lady and the gentleman, are critical for the gentleman. A gent who inquires--and responds--politely, quickly, and within the lady's requested parameters does both him and her a favor. It builds a sense of trust in the rules (whether spoken or not) and both parties go into the meeting feeling like some fundamental courtesies have been extended. This is particularly critical on a first visit. Perhaps it makes it easier for the lady to understand she's going to receive her donation even if it isn't produced at first glance.

On subsequent visits, I would expect that many of us gents let our guards down a little in some form or fashion. But I would say that the more visits a gentleman makes to a particular lady, the less this whole issue matters.

All the best.

If its my first visit, I place the envelope, card, whatever first. I will also typically ask to use the RR to give her a way to review/count/hide it. While I understand that this opens me up to getting burned, I consider that part of the risk.

Thus far, I have only had one time where I regretted paying first. I had an extended session with a provider that I left early due to inaccuracies of photos, cleanliness of the incall, a pet issue and a personality that really turned me off. If I had not given the donation first, I would have probably given her something for her time and got the fuck out! In hindsight, I look at it as the cost of ignoring my gut and giving in to a sob story.

:/

Thank you all for your insight and encouragement.

I haven't given up hope he will do the right thing. I'll keep you updated.

SH

If he wants to not make the DNS list he will do the right thing. I think people on here are smart enough to probably figure out who it is eventually. Personally, I always try to get the business side of a session completed upfront. That way after a great session, I don't have to worry about any confusing issues coming up over the donation. I guess it comes from my Strip Club experience where you always negotiate upfront or you get screwed. Hope all ends well!!!!!