Classic Pre-Planned Excuses

Few options:
Get down on your knees publicly, tell her how much you love her and beg for forgiveness.
These work better than excuses, IJS. Originally Posted by anita

Of course it is exactly what I would do if it comes to that. Again I started this thread to get some jokes. I might be suck at making jokes because some are thinking they would be my real excuses. Some just plainly claiming how hurtful it is what I am doing. So I had to give serious answer.

I started this thread to get some jokes. I might be suck at making jokes because some are thinking they would be my real excuses. Some just plainly claiming how hurtful it is what I am doing. So I had to give serious answer. Originally Posted by futile

Oh. Lol. Reading your thread on that point of view, it is kind of funny.

So you never loved someone enough to ask her to be part of your life, so how can you see the issue in my point of view? I don't think you are qualified to judge here since you never been in my position. Originally Posted by futile

Heh, the fact that you have supposedly "loved someone enough to ask her to be part of your life", and then turn around and pay to have sex with hookers, says that I'm MUCH more qualified to judge things...

I have depths of honest love you'll never understand. I just choose not to delude myself that love is MAKING me enter into lifelong contracts with a woman that I have no intention of honoring...unlike you...

And you are saying that any man who cannot commit himself to be with just one woman for life should never get married? Originally Posted by futile

Yes...that's EXACTLY what I think. Do you even remember your wedding vows? You know, those things you looked into your wife's eyes, held her hand, and said to her, in front of whatever god you believe in, your friends, and your family? "Till death do us part" is pretty concrete in its meaning...

...but I don't think our species would even exist if every man has to follow your view. Do you really believe your ancestor are like you? If they are exactly like you, you would not even exist. It is sad to hear you are deciding not to get married and have family because your natural desire as a man make you unfit to do so. Originally Posted by futile

You're confusing sex with marraige. There is no need for the institution of marraige to propagate the species. It was institutionalized as a product of religion, which I detest. The species would do just fine if there was no such thing as marraige. However, if you choose to enter into a marraige, you better damn well live up to the responsibilities of it.

P.S.-Your argument that evolution is what has turned you into someone who is incapable of honoring his commitments, and has no idea how to treat someone who he has made a lifelong commitment to, is laughable...so I won't bother picking it apart...

Like my lawyer always told me:

Deny, deny, deny even if she catches you in the act. Originally Posted by Slitlikr

What he said +👍

my way of thinking,
real men who love their wives don't make excuses about anything...they have honest conversations with their wives.

and that's it. if those conversations concern relationship issues they'd have conversations about those concerns and work together to correct them if the woman loves the husband also. those conversations wouldn't be about this because a real man who loves his wife in the true sense of the word wouldn't be in the hobby.

Okay, I'll bite.
Any advise, any truths spoken are falling on deaf ears. You are a selfish little child only concerned about getting what you want without getting caught. You sidetracked this thread when you mentioned your "concern" about hurting your SO's feelings. You actually couldn't care less about her feelings our you would change your behavior.
So, back to your "intent" of finding some humor in your silly excuses...
Tell us about this guy you saw at the gym that brought on your homosexual feelings? What was it about him that attracted you to him? A lil penis envy maybe? How long have you been suppressing these desires? What made you think that by screwing hookers would make you less gay? I'm just wondering because I can definitely see the humor in that...

I will never get married, I don't date. I've made these choices because I know exactly what kind of person I am, and I refuse to make a vow to be faithful to a wife for the rest of my life, like you did, knowing that you'd violate that vow anytime you feel like it, and be perfectly happy to lie to your wife about it.
Originally Posted by Wakeup

Dayum WU!
and all this time I thought you were Valerie ' s faithful husband.

So, back to your "intent" of finding some humor in your silly excuses...
Tell us about this guy you saw at the gym that brought on your homosexual feelings? What was it about him that attracted you to him? A lil penis envy maybe? How long have you been suppressing these desires? What made you think that by screwing hookers would make you less gay? I'm just wondering because I can definitely see the humor in that... Originally Posted by H.Hardhat

I guess he thought he could fuck the gay away......

Dayum WU!
and all this time I thought you were Valerie ' s faithful husband. Originally Posted by Slitlikr

I love my wife too much to marry her...

I guess he thought he could fuck the gay away...... Originally Posted by Tony Gambino

See? Now THAT'S some funny ass shit there^^^
However, I think gay is gay and it ain't gonna go away that easy.
I think our friend futile is stuck going to therapy one way or the other. Either to accept his homosexual tendencies, or couples counseling, there's a couple years of couch time in that boy's future.
But let's help out futile come up with an excuse for when he gets caught. Hell have to deal with coming out of the closet at another time. His efforts thus far have been... shall we say "futile". How about the hooker outreach program associated with his church? Wait, he's buddhist, scratch that. The clumsy hooker, fell on his dick, that doesn't explain joining a hooker board... Kid in a candy store, that just makes him look like a selfish asshole, true but it doesn't help explain to the SO.
Damn futile, looks like you're screwed.
I can see the humor in that too...

See? Now THAT'S some funny ass shit there^^^
However, I think gay is gay and it ain't gonna go away that easy.
I think our friend futile is stuck going to therapy one way or the other. Either to accept his homosexual tendencies, or couples counseling, there's a couple years of couch time in that boy's future. Originally Posted by H.Hardhat

agreed ,why in world would that pop into your mind as an excuse unless you're thinking about doing a dude. and if you think about it or act on it you are gay. he is damn lucky he didn't try to see dorthy or he'd need an excuse for the shoe in his ass

3- You are little confused about your sexuality and started questioning yourself if you are gay (after seeing naked man at Gym or whatever). You just have to find out if you still into women
Really? That's where you're going to go when backed into a corner? You're going to play the "Gay Card"? Unless you have a history of homosexual behavior, you'll have a hard time pulling that one off. If you do have a history of homosexual behavior, Why The Hell Would You Post That Here? What the fuck were you thinking?

Leave futile alone, he should go with whatever works for him. The drawback of his #3 is his SO may go out and buy a huge strap-on. Originally Posted by pyramider

The subconscious mind is a wonder, hidden desires come to light at the most inopportune moments. How could he not see this coming?
futile, I'm digging for an excuse you could use to explain your cheating on your SO, but everyone I start, I can't get past the fact that you just admitted to being attracted to the "guy at the gym". So yeah, go with that one... Tell your SO that you're gay and that you're willing to go to therapy, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays... Couples therapy Tuesdays and Thursdays so now you won't have the time or the money to cheat on her again... Best of luck to you.

You fuckers take the fun out of fun....


TLDR....

I love my wife too much to marry her... Originally Posted by Wakeup

Outstanding!

3- You are little confused about your sexuality and started questioning yourself if you are gay (after seeing naked man at Gym or whatever). You just have to find out if you still into women
Really? That's where you're going to go when backed into a corner? You're going to play the "Gay Card"? Unless you have a history of homosexual behavior, you'll have a hard time pulling that one off. If you do have a history of homosexual behavior, Why The Hell Would You Post That Here? What the fuck were you thinking?

The subconscious mind is a wonder, hidden desires come to light at the most inopportune moments. How could he not see this coming?
futile, I'm digging for an excuse you could use to explain your cheating on your SO, but everyone I start, I can't get past the fact that you just admitted to being attracted to the "guy at the gym". So yeah, go with that one... Tell your SO that you're gay and that you're willing to go to therapy, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays... Couples therapy Tuesdays and Thursdays so now you won't have the time or the money to cheat on her again... Best of luck to you. Originally Posted by H.Hardhat

There are some religious organizations that will pray the gay out of them.