ASK THE FUCKING PROPHET! (Free Beta Version)

Damn autospell. STRIPPED = STRIPPER

Dear Dearhunter,

Why didn't you tell LondonRayne that sending the ex a video of her fucking his brother would only result in them giving eachother high fives and saying shit like "bros before hos"

I think you could do much better than a covert snowball and screw sending a sex tape to his mother. What you do is seduce either his mother or father and tape that shit, he'll be scarred for life.

I don't mean to laugh, but that was funny.

Mr. Fucking DearHunter Prophet:

My ex-SO found some explicit emails between myself and my ATF. She promptly vacated the marital domicile. She took MY FUKKING DOGS, and left HER FUKKING CATS. The dogs were AKC registered and the cats were strays found in the dumpsters of various restaurants in the area.

My question is in two parts:

A. Do you Houston boys need any of these cats for Avatars, and

B. Since the SO is gone, should I install a chrome stripped pole (which matches the kitchen fixtures) or a brass stripped pole (which is classic)? Originally Posted by MrSmith8691

Dear Dearhunter,

Why didn't you tell LondonRayne that sending the ex a video of her fucking his brother would only result in them giving eachother high fives and saying shit like "bros before hos"

I think you could do much better than a covert snowball and screw sending a sex tape to his mother. What you do is seduce either his mother or father and tape that shit, he'll be scarred for life. Originally Posted by RebeccaRothko

Hopefully DH won't tell you what I really did he he. It was classic!

OMG the mother ...good one !!!

Or the son lmao!

I don't mean to laugh, but that was funny. Originally Posted by lisa.lisa0302

What's really funny is that other than the finish on the kitchen fixtures, that post is 99.9% pure.

And I already installed the stripper pole....just looking for some validation.

Dear DeerHunter,

How is a fucktard to respond to a lady's comment that I am such a better lover than Wakeup and Wayward? Originally Posted by pyramider

Again, a minefield is placed before me...... we all know the hooktard is lying.

It all depends on what "is" is.....the vague nature of the question screams "caution" to the Fucking prophet.....the fact that I am the Fucking prophet does give me some insight into the 3 fucktards in question.....it doesn't hurt that we break bread together on ocassion.

I must first analyse the 3 dick monkeys:

Wakeup-This one is easy....what you see is what you get....no fucking around.....no sweet talk to get something extra....the pussy gives it up or she is out the door.

Wayward-This one is more complex....although fraught with danger zones this one can be predictable on Mondays and Thursdays (the rest of the week you are on your own).....unless the pussy is into a little whip and chain action, it is easy to see how almost any fucktard is a better "lover" when faced with those options.

pyramider-would seem to be the unknown quantity in the mix.....but, you need only look at the handle to know what you get....what do you get when you turn a pyramid on its side......a pyramid......consistancy will usually win the day, and considering your competition it is little wonder that you were considered the better "lover".

Besides, Wakeup has a gay lover, it has been said wakeup/wayward are in fact the same person.....and there is a rumor of a missing body in a cage somewhere in Wayward's past....but, those is just rumors......and the Fucking prophet doesn't participate in rumor mongoring.

Dear Dearhunter,

Why didn't you tell LondonRayne that sending the ex a video of her fucking his brother would only result in them giving eachother high fives and saying shit like "bros before hos"

I think you could do much better than a covert snowball and screw sending a sex tape to his mother. What you do is seduce either his mother or father and tape that shit, he'll be scarred for life. Originally Posted by RebeccaRothko

Sigh.....since I am not gay, I have no interest in anyone seducing the ex's father......and the Fucking prophet doesn't talk about hobbyists or providers mothers......but, on the brite side, I enjoyed your meatloaf recipe.

Dear DeerHunter,

How is a fucktard to respond to a lady's comment that I am such a better lover than Wakeup and Wayward? Originally Posted by pyramider

Wow...really 3-sides? You had to go there?

Carkido's going to drop me like a bad habit when he finds out you can sodomize him better than I can...

Why does the ex have to be a hobbyist, and how is it gay to have interest in a good hetero (albeit slightly demented) revenge fucking? Then again if it were guy on guy that would really make for some hilariously awkward family gatherings.

Regarding the meatloaf, did you try oven roasted veggies of any sort since you already had the oven going?

Dear Prophet,
I'm having a bit if trouble with geometry right now. Can you explain the Pythagorean Theorem in terms of a woman's body so I can understand it please?
Ans

Mr. Fucking DearHunter Prophet:

My ex-SO found some explicit emails between myself and my ATF. She promptly vacated the marital domicile. She took MY FUKKING DOGS, and left HER FUKKING CATS. The dogs were AKC registered and the cats were strays found in the dumpsters of various restaurants in the area.

My question is in two parts:

A. Do you Houston boys need any of these cats for Avatars, and

B. Since the SO is gone, should I install a chrome stripped pole (which matches the kitchen fixtures) or a brass stripped pole (which is classic)? Originally Posted by MrSmith8691

Fuck the dogs....... if they awere worth anything, they committed suicide they day she took them anyway.

Good riddance on the dogs......all they want to do is fuck with the cats.....the cats are a blessing in disguise.....but, more about that after I answer your question.

The easy one first.....WHAT A STUPID QUESTION......the answer is you get both stripper poles.....as to the cats.......put them in the kitchen with your stripper poles.....that way you always have plenty of pussy around.

In your spare time practice herding those cats.......when you thinck you are good enough, bring your cat herding skills to the Houston board and we will see what you got.

Dear Prophet,
I'm having a bit if trouble with geometry right now. Can you explain the Pythagorean Theorem in terms of a woman's body so I can understand it please?
Ans Originally Posted by Ansley

Simply put:

Wakeup(squared) + Wayward (squared) = pyramider (squared)

Simply put:

Wakeup(squared) + Wayward (squared) = pyramider (squared) Originally Posted by dearhunter

Oh now I'm more confused. Wakeup+Wayward=1 + pyramider =4 Am I coming close? maybe a little bit?