OneStar, yes, you are overthinking everything. When providers get a reference check most just say either yes or no on if you're a decent. They could care less who you're going after next. Also, most times they'll go thru your reviews and contact a few od those providers about you and you'll never know.
Originally Posted by mrredcat43
Indeed. A Dallas provider I saw recently did call and speak with at least one of my local providers about what I was like. She also went back and read the activities of my earlier reviews. She almost didn't see me because that glowing review mentioned an activity she doesn't like to do. Fortunately her conversation with the reference provider convinced her we'd be a good match and I'd walk away happy.
I was pleasantly surprised when she told me all this because TCB quite often it is the opposite.
Now, if there was any jealousy it was professional jealousy. My local provider and I get along quite well and we've overnighted several times. But she knows it would be worse for her business to try and keep me on a leash by giving me a bad reference.
Way back when I first started hobbying I did have some jealousy though. I wrote a thread on it a while back but she was just the right provider at just the right time for me emotionally. Anyway, I'd always walk out of sessions on cloud 9, only to have those 'pangs' later when seeing her other reviews.
Knowing that my head wasn't properly in the game I stopped hobbying for awhile and she retired. Any other choice would have lead to drama and hurt feelings. Don't confuse IOP with love, but if you do once you start you need to walk away and reset.