As often as this complaint is aired, I'm surprised it continues to happen frequently. Most of us figured out a long time ago that even if she values and appreciates us as a client, and even if there's some degree of connection (it's still a job, but not just a job), we don't intrude further without a clear invitation. I really like some of the ladies I've seen, and some may even really like me, but nothing happens outside the appointment (maybe an infrequent email to say hi but even that's rare) unless she initiates it. Anyone who doesn't understand all this probably : (a) has emotional problems; or (b) is a manipulator, interested in free sex more than he's interested in you. If he doesn't take a hint, go ahead and be brutal; you may lose a client, but do you really want those guys as clients??
Originally Posted by Chevalier
I appreciate your wisdom Chevalier.
Thank you emails are something that I feel a lady should initiate, just because. But to get a positive response from a guy after a date should be viewed as a good thing. I don't think that guys should be afraid to say they enjoyed a person. The total person. It's a rarity to do so in any arena. That's the thing that keeps them coming back. That's what the majority of us ladies (and ALL businesses) look forward to. We should respond to these affections in the way that our customers feel welcome. The butcher who puts choice cuts of meats to the side just for you, and throws in bones for your dog doesn't respond, 'don't thank me for the meat. You pay for it.' when you tell him how you appreciate his thoughtfulness. The checkout girl at Whole Foods doesn't say 'don't be so hasty. They pay me to be nice to you' when you thank her for bagging your groceries. Of course, these things are implied.
There is a very clear line between having a friendship with your clients and having someone communicating in a stalker/manipulative way. I mean, extreme polar opposites. This requires a delicate balance. Communication with clients I think is necessary before and after meeting. Some ladies don't communicate until the day of the appointment for directions, and nothing after. I have clients that communicate with me very frequently because they're the kind of people I would communicate with in my daily life. And we don't talk about personal drama or communicate out of neediness. It just happened that way because we saw the humanity in each other despite the transaction. The transactions are better because of the humanity. Then there are others that I communicate with on a rare basis just to keep in touch. I have found that things are just better when you take the time to know who you're dealing with. Emotionally unstable people show tell-tale signs almost immediately. But I frankly don't get many of these kind. But when I do I find their communications end the way they begin. If they sound needy and manipulative from the beginning, and you see them anyway, they have no choice but to continue in the same pattern. I chose not to see or communicate with these men for that very reason. A lady should always look at what her personality says to a potential client.