Is having a relationship hard as a provider?

Okay if you are truly and honestly looking for advice about having a REAL/normal relationship get the fuck out the biz........No man will ever respect you doing this. That is just the truth. Now im not talking about married couples spicing it up keeping shit interesting while married, going to swingers clubs and all.
Men like to feel special. If a man knows you have fucked a large quanity of men its hard for them to set that aside and really consontrate on the person you really are.
If you are truthful you are a hoe. If you lie well, all things you do in the dark will be brought to
light eventually, then you will be a lying ass hoe. Its a no win situation.
If you want a real man then you have to choose. Do you want to be wifey material or a provider?
In a perfect world you can be both.

All good points.


Well, IF we get into a relationship looking for happiness....and there are elements that make it just OK...or make us unhappy....then, that relationship may not last for long. Originally Posted by Sarunga

No relationship is perfect - I believe every long lasting relationship where there's equality between the parties has compromise involved in it. There are always going to be elements in every relationship that aren't 100% perfect and that's where people have to make a decision if it's a dealbreaker or not and how far they're willing to compromise for it.

While I would agree that this will be a dealbreaker for most guys, I'm sure there are some guys out there who are ok with it or even find it a positive.

Okay if you are truly and honestly looking for advice about having a REAL/normal relationship get the fuck out the biz........No man will ever respect you doing this. That is just the truth. Now im not talking about married couples spicing it up keeping shit interesting while married, going to swingers clubs and all.
Men like to feel special. If a man knows you have fucked a large quanity of men its hard for them to set that aside and really consontrate on the person you really are.
If you are truthful you are a hoe. If you lie well, all things you do in the dark will be brought to
light eventually, then you will be a lying ass hoe. Its a no win situation.
If you want a real man then you have to choose. Do you want to be wifey material or a provider?
In a perfect world you can be both. Originally Posted by SexyCassandra

See, that's where I disagree. I brought up the swingers example because that's a similar relationship where people are allowed to have sex outside their marriage and their partner is ok (even happy) about it. A provider is just getting paid for it too. Another real life example of this is people who are in a relationship with porn stars and other types of sex workers. Granted, as I said above, the guy who is ok with that or finds it a positive or just doesn't care is going to be a rare find, but they're out there.

Just suck his dick that first time like he is paying you a thousand dollars.........when he says "damn, that is the best blowjob I have ever had", you say "I hope so. It is what i do for a living".....then, proceed to give him a second blowjob......if it is going to work, that is when you will know.

What you are looking for is possible but just very rare. Let's face it at the age of guys you are looking for most men are married or looking for much younger women. You are looking for a unicorn. A guy old enough to want to be with you for you. A guy not looking for a relationship who is ok with you having MANY sex partners.

I am not saying its impossible but just hard to find. You are just going to have to do a lot of looking. You are going to have a ton of first dates.

The big problem as I see it is the back end of this deal when feelings DO enter this relationship you want. Let's face it after you see someone the way you want to see them for six months to two years FEELINGS will enter into the relationship. This may be why again you are looking for a unicorn.

Good Luck!

No relationship is perfect - I believe every long lasting relationship where there's equality between the parties has compromise involved in it. There are always going to be elements in every relationship that aren't 100% perfect and that's where people have to make a decision if it's a dealbreaker or not and how far they're willing to compromise for it. Originally Posted by jbravo_123

Very true. However, whom our partner chooses to share her body (and sometimes her soul) with, is a dominant element of the relationship, IMHO.

While I would agree that this will be a dealbreaker for most guys, I'm sure there are some guys out there who are ok with it or even find it a positive. Originally Posted by jbravo_123

It's definitely a deal-breaker for me. And, I personally don't know any guy who would be OK with it. Do you?

It has been great reading all the responses. And a few entertaining Pm's too.

It has become evident that You can not be a "provider" and have your cake too. Sad but true. Yes what I am looking for is very rare, a unicorn indeed. As we all know unicorns don't exists in reality.


So I will stay single and continue to do what I do. It was just a mystery, that I can see a NSA companionship is impossible for me

SS I believe it depends on the person.....good luck.

It's definitely a deal-breaker for me. And, I personally don't know any guy who would be OK with it. Do you? Originally Posted by Sarunga

The fact that many providers and other sex workers have significant others would implay at least some of them are ok with it, don't you think? Unless you believe that every provider in a relationship is lying to their significant other about their work?

You can just lie to the guys you date and if things get serious with a guy, just quit providing. (or go utr)

Then if it ends up not working out and yall break up, just go back to providing.

Isn't that what all providers do?

Everyone on this this thread has made great points which goes to show that everyone will have a differnt point of view when it comes down to something so diverse..I still stand by what I said.. But yet nothing is impossible. Relationships are hard enough on thier own. I like simplicity. Trying to be in a relationship while providing is way to complicated to me personally.Its black or white no gray area here. If you want to provide and have a relationship then an open one would be best I would think. If you want what society considers to be a"normal" realationship then stop providing. Good luck on your journery.

It has been great reading all the responses. And a few entertaining Pm's too.

It has become evident that You can not be a "provider" and have your cake too. Sad but true. Yes what I am looking for is very rare, a unicorn indeed. As we all know unicorns don't exists in reality.


So I will stay single and continue to do what I do. It was just a mystery, that I can see a NSA companionship is impossible for me Originally Posted by SensualSpecialist

You can have a NSA companion relationship. Why not? Just relax. Do not go looking for it. When the time is right the proper companion will surface. It will be up to you to recognize it for what it is.

The fact that many providers and other sex workers have significant others would implay at least some of them are ok with it, don't you think? Unless you believe that every provider in a relationship is lying to their significant other about their work? Originally Posted by jbravo_123

We did a full-circle with this one.

This is why in my first post in this thread I said I'm going to have to agree with these profound words....

Not many if any will go for you being a hooker. Only a pimp or a loser would stand for it. Originally Posted by trey

I'm going to have to agree with all of the above.

In light of Valerie's differing opinion....perhaps, she could elaborate on how she manages such a unique relationship. Originally Posted by Sarunga

I must say I am a bit taken back at the amount of people on this board who seem to think real & functional relationships do not exist for those of us in this industry. Not quite sure if it's a narrow minded thing or what, but I can assure you that there are plenty of ladies out there with partners who know exactly what they do, are okay with it, and are not pimps. Perhaps not so much in Texas? Most of my girlfriends who are escorts are married or in relationships.

I don't exactly know what there is to explain, I mean, my relationship is probably no different than most. My partner knows what I do, it does not bother him for he knows it is simply work. He and I share the same mentality when it comes to sex, he knows I separate my work from my personal life, which is probably one reason there are no jealousy issues. He is not insecure, at all, he trusts me and I him, and he respects the hell out of me. If I had a funny/weird experience at "work" and I want to share it with him, it doesn't bother him, he will just laugh with me. He is not with me for "the money", as we have separate bank accounts, (though I do hijack his credit card sometimes ), and he is most certainly not a 'loser'. He is a proper professional with a great job and makes great money alone, so he doesn't need mine. We both have similar interests, both love to travel, (and both have to travel for our jobs), we cook together, watch telly, play xbox, have great sex, raise kids...all the things that 'normal' couples do. He is my lover and my best friend, and I could not ask for a better partner, honestly.

So "managing my unique" relationship, as Sarunga put it, is not difficult at all.

The key to a functional relationship in this hobby IMO is finding a partner who is open-minded, and doesn't focus on who you are "at work", but rather focus on building something meaningful between the pair of you. Be who you need to be at work, and when you are with your S/O, just be you...

Hope that helps?

We did a full-circle with this one.

This is why in my first post in this thread I said I'm going to have to agree with these profound words.... Originally Posted by Sarunga

Pretty what much Valerie said.

Essentially, I disagree with the idea that anyone who would be with a provider in a relationship is a loser or pimp.

Hope that helps? Originally Posted by Valerie

It does. Thanks for taking the time to respond.

Well, based on pretty much everything you said, I think, you have found the perfect partner....one that you have eating out of the palm of your hand.

Ya thinck? Originally Posted by oilfieldscum

Essentially, I disagree with the idea that anyone who would be with a provider in a relationship is a loser or pimp. Originally Posted by jbravo_123

Hopefully, we can agree to disagree.