The Unsuccessful Long-Term Hobby Relationship

+1 but i have YET to meet you...shall hopefully change in the near future. Originally Posted by Alana kay

I hope it does change There is a meet in greet the 29th I will be attending in Temple. Maybe you can make it as well I believe there is a thread about it in the Killeen Waco Coed section.

Z, your heart will find peace if you focus on intention rather than outcome. The outcome is betrayal. But to hurt you was never her intention. I never met her and I always wanted to. She was my idol for a time. And I truly feel that she loves you very much. You are special and her heart is breaking too. She has been mourning just as you are. She wanted to give you what you wanted. An illusion of passion. That's why you got into the hobby. She provided more than that. The passion was real. The love is real. But just as you didnt tell your wife about her, she didn't tell you about her SO. She didn't want you to feel less than one of the great love of her life. And we only get a few great lives in a lifetime.

Don't be angry at her. She is hurting too. She is just as devastated as you. She misses you. I know how she feels. I've been here before. The relationship I was in ended years ago and still I miss him and I love him. And I'm so terribly sorry for the pain I caused him.

You can heal your heart by focusing on intention. Know that she was authentic. Her feelings for you were/are real.

We have relationships for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Meditate on that and you will be right as rain in no time.

Z, your heart will find peace if you focus on intention rather than outcome. The outcome is betrayal. But to hurt you was never her intention. I never met her and I always wanted to. She was my idol for a time. And I truly feel that she loves you very much. You are special and her heart is breaking too. She has been mourning just as you are. She wanted to give you what you wanted. An illusion of passion. That's why you got into the hobby. She provided more than that. The passion was real. The love is real. But just as you didnt tell your wife about her, she didn't tell you about her SO. She didn't want you to feel less than one of the great love of her life. And we only get a few great lives in a lifetime.

Don't be angry at her. She is hurting too. She is just as devastated as you. She misses you. I know how she feels. I've been here before. The relationship I was in ended years ago and still I miss him and I love him. And I'm so terribly sorry for the pain I caused him.

You can heal your heart by focusing on intention. Know that she was authentic. Her feelings for you were/are real.

We have relationships for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Meditate on that and you will be right as rain in no time. Originally Posted by HunterGrace

Pretty sure that post was more about self serving than sympathy.

Kinda seems mo' laik an oldt Daily Show Moment o' Zen.

Ztonk, yours is a hard story to tell and a hard story to hear, particularly since I know both the players. You did us all – and yourself – a favor by sharing this. Thanks. As for Ms. Sweetcheeks, I’ll dismiss her with a simple “пизда!”

I have spent time with her and reviewed her a couple times back on ASPD. One of those times she gave me her lipstick and asked me to write my name on her ass. (I had done that with several girls and used their photos as my avatar. She wanted to be an avatar too.) So here’s a little trip down memory lane.



Here’s a another one that shows her Dimples of Venus. I would put my thumbs on those dimples and my hands around her waist as I rocked her hips back and forth, her wet пизда slipping down the length of my cock, her cheeks slap-slap-slapping against me. Nice. But you know that.



Maybe she could be my avatar again.

Monk

Ztonk, yours is a hard story to tell and a hard story to hear, particularly since I know both the players. You did us all – and yourself – a favor by sharing this. Thanks. As for Ms. Sweetcheeks, I’ll dismiss her with a simple “пизда!”

I have spent time with her and reviewed her a couple times back on ASPD. One of those times she gave me her lipstick and asked me to write my name on her ass. (I had done that with several girls and used their photos as my avatar. She wanted to be an avatar too.) So here’s a little trip down memory lane.



Here’s a another one that shows her Dimples of Venus. I would put my thumbs on those dimples and my hands around her waist as I rocked her hips back and forth, her wet пизда slipping down the length of my cock, her cheeks slap-slap-slapping against me. Nice. But you know that.



Maybe she could be my avatar again.

Monk

Originally Posted by Monk Rasputin

WOW... hard to believe. Hey MONK don't bother sending me a PM asking what I mean. This seems like an inappropriate time to mention "your" dealings with this young lady.

This seems like an inappropriate time to mention "your" dealings with this young lady. Originally Posted by Still Looking

Monk and I are old friends and he asked before sharing these pictures.

Those of you who have been to my house may recognize that ass from the artwork that used to hang on my wall.


z

Monk and I are old friends and he asked before sharing these pictures.

Those of you who have been to my house may recognize that ass from the artwork that used to hang on my wall.


z Originally Posted by ztonk

I have a couple of BBW'S with Monks picture on their ass. Should I post those?

Failed? You sure? On the whole?

In the course of 10 years it sounds like...

You started and maintained a successful mutually beneficial Provider/ATF relationship that you enjoyed for years. Not everyone can do that.

Then you successfully transitioned to a mutually beneficial pretty standard sounding "Sugar Daddy" relationship, that you enjoyed for years. Not everyone can do that.

Then you looked to evolve this into an actual relationship and found that this option was not on the table.

Considering that the first two forms of relationships leave lots of wiggle room for less than complete honesty (you are paying for the fantasy to be maintained for you), getting too upset about being deceived seems self defeating.

So on the whole, 10 years of goodness that just ended up being "only" 10 years. Maybe once you get out of the immediate disappointment of things ending without going all the way to where you hoped for a while, you'll feel that it was maybe a pretty good ride.

Actually, that's a nice way of looking at the situation Irishlad. I think time will bring a different perspective for Z. In the near term it's probably still pretty upsetting, though.

Hang in there Z.

I have a couple of BBWs with Monks picture on their ass. Should I post those? Originally Posted by Still Looking

I did not realize you had BBWs.

@OP: Thanks for the reality check and learning that can be applied to any relationship. Did you always think of her as a whore?

I did not realize you had BBWs.

@OP: Thanks for the reality check and learning that can be applied to any relationship. Did you always think of her as a whore? Originally Posted by saustin

Less we forget I do photo shoots

WOW... hard to believe. Hey MONK don't bother sending me a PM asking what I mean. This seems like an inappropriate time to mention "your" dealings with this young lady. Originally Posted by Still Looking

Dude, I understand your first response, I had it too. But then after about 10 seconds (before I posted myself), I realized he was doing Z a favor, Z needs to let go emotionally (BIG TIME!). Monk is reminding him of the realities of this situation. She's a ... whore... hard stuff, but Z needs the reminder... obviously..

Dude, I understand your first response, I had it too. But then after about 10 seconds (before I posted myself), I realized he was doing Z a favor, Z needs to let go emotionally (BIG TIME!). Monk is reminding him of the realities of this situation. She's a ... whore... hard stuff, but Z needs the reminder... obviously.. Originally Posted by Bobave

Point well taken.

This has been an interesting thread. Z's original comment about "once a whore, they always think like a whore" made me stop and think, as well as the comment a few down that women are always looking for a better provider.

I had a long on-line friendship with a woman a few years ago. The conversation lasted about two months, and we were pretty deep into describing our lives. She was on her 2nd marriage, and had 4 kids. Still, she was stepping out on her husband regularly and he was aware of some of it, and pissed. She complained that she should have stayed with her first husband, because he was "rich" and she was up to her eyeballs in credit card debt. (To her, "rich" was $80K per year.)

Eventually in one of our chats, she admitted that in her 20s she had had sex for money many times. She also went to NSA sex parties. When I asked how many partners she had had, all she would say is way more than 50. I wasn't judgmental (how can a hobbyist be judgmental, anyway?)

The thing was, here she was in her mid-40s, in a stable situation with a husband and four kids, and all she wanted was to find somebody who would be a better provider, even to the point of leaving her kids. I never told her a thing about my financial situation, but she still told me she would leave with me in a minute. I told her I had tried being a rescuing white knight before, and it didn't work out, and wouldn't work out now (even if I had wanted to, which I didn't, for fairly obvious reasons). She said she cried for two days when I popped that balloon.

That's what the line about thinking like a whore brought to mind. I hadn't realized it before, but that's exactly what it was. Thank heavens I never told her my real name.

Also reminded me of the advice given to them by their mothers I've heard from two different gf's: "Men are to be captured then manipulated."