A good portion of the high emotions associated with this post seems to come from the label attached to what happened: "no show." But I would hope most would agree that if we dial the rhetoric back a bit, knowing that a lady stopped responding after an appointment was set (even if the precise location is not shared yet) is still frustrating. You don't have to spend the time driving there to be disappointed but you still may have been inconvenienced. If you shift to Plan B too soon, and the first lady then confirms, you'll be in trouble with someone. If you wait too long, just in case the first lady does finally respond and is available, by the time you give up on her your window of opportunity may have closed. Even if it hasn't closed, it may be harder to find a good "substitute" at that point; even if you have a Plan B in mind, she may have made other plans while you were waiting on the first lady.
If nothing more, recounting the facts, calmly and objectively, without using a hot-button label like "no show" might avoid some of the arguments about the exact meaning of "appointment" and "no show."
P.S. I have no direct knowledge of what took place and am not taking sides.