Getting turned down for a session.

I would like know, but havent came across a no I will not see you before so.I do not know how I would rea t.. sad and need of some sweet soft spot to land

Hotchick, nice civil conversation you've got going here.

I'd like to know.

However you do not owe me anything more than a gentle 'no thanks' to let me down easy. You ptobably don't really owe me the gentle part, but it would be the gentlewomanly thing to do.

I assume that if you are open to considering a future session, you'll let me know by your choice of words.

Happened to me once, thru YM. She asked what my fantasies were, so I told her. Trust me, it wasn't anything weird or sadistic, and I explained to her that some fantasies are meant to be just that, Fantasies, and not experienced. Her reply was, I was not her type, and good luck with my search. A buddy of mine that had seen her a few times, told me that I needed to hit her up again, that he talked to her and vouched for me. So this time I texted her. She called me within a few minutes, and I can still hear her voice. Never in my life had I heard such a extremely sexual voice like that. She asked me what my fantasies were (again). The whole time I was talking to her on the phone, I kept wondering if she knew we had talked before, and had turned me down. I was real careful to not lead her on, as though if one door is locked, to not try another. Nevertheless, that seductive voice of hers had all of my attention. Even just being on the phone with her for just a few minutes, I was for sure enjoying the moment.

Anyway, we made an appt for the next day. Within 5 minutes of arriving, she called me. She asked me if we had talked before. Trying to remain innocent, I told her we did the day before. That was not what she meant. She went on to accuse me of trying to see her when she had previously turned me down. I put the blame on my buddy for telling me to call her, but she obviously had a different view of their little talk about me than what he had, at my own humiliating expense. Needless to say, I was about to pull into her apartment complex when she hung up the phone, meaning my appt was officially cancelled. I thought long and hard, trying to figure out what was it that I said on the phone to her that may have set off a few neurons in her head. I wasn't trying to disguise anything about me. Just trying to play it neutral and respectful. Even tried to see her a few more times over the months and years, only to get the same answer. I still think about, or try to remember, what was it about my fantasies she didn't like? Even when I read reviews on her, the things that were said in the Activities were not less extreme or less weird or less sadistic or less disrespectful, than what I had said. I've tried to write it off, and I have, until I read a thread like this, and the wonder thoughts come back as though it had happened just yesterday.

Do I want to know? Not anymore than a Provider wants to know.

After reading some posts from one guy requesting to see me, I simply told him that I didn't think we would be a good match.
If I'm just not taking appts that day, I'll say so.

If it happened during screening it would bother me more than a cancellation and you can only hope it's not due to a powder room conversation.

I would want to know exactly what the issue is. A corny adage that was once told to me: feedback is the breakfast of champions.

How is one to know of a need to change behavior without feedback?

Interesting thread! I am not that active and relatively new to eccie to have been exposed to many cancellations or rejections yet, but I did not have any, even as a newbie, which frankly surprised me. When asking, I was told I communicated well in the prescreening process.
As far as cancellations , the last lady I met, was a joy to communicate with: we clearly connected and clarified a tentative date, and agreed to confirm again that day. I liked how she mentioned Mother Nature as a possible factor for postponing, and I know everybody has a life and things happen, me included.
All in all the cancellations one or two hours before are the ones that would bother me or the no shows. I expect to be told about it ASAP so I can work out plan B...but did not happened to me yet, so my statement is hypothetical.

I would not be hurt by cancellation or rejection ( of course if reason is given, it would be nice to understand if I am to blame). In the context of the Hobby World and potentially less well behaved costumers it it is advisable to avoid details. Not everybody can take blows affecting their ego and could cause acrimony on the review boards, spreading nasty info etc. If rejected at screening , I would attempt, without insisting though, to see if if I am the cause, or not , without details... But not expecting to always get an answer.

Communication, I feel, goes a long way in this circle of "friends". Most ladies know that being discrete is part of being professional .

I learned some new things from this thread! Cool.

BigJohnny, you told a gal your fantasies and got rejected. Then you tell her again and somehow you're surprised she turns you down again? Do you not see the common element? There can be TMI, even here.

I welcome any private pm's from ladies if I have a bad rep...I can certainly be a self centered pig on here but I feel like I behave myself in session....

No I don't care or need to know. If I get turned down it's probably for the best in the long run. I think a lot of guys want explanations so they can convince the lady otherwise just like fantasy dude a couple up from me.

My thought is any iop that would have been there is gone at that point so a session is going to be less then what I want and uncomfortable for both parties.

Many of the dudes on this board can't function in the real world. I've hung out with many at different functions, strip clubs etc.... and the social skills or reasoning skills just aren't always there. There is no point to telling them anything other then no and then moving on. Some will badger you regardless and bitch in different places on here anyways whether you tell them or not so why stir the pot anymore or throw another lady under the bus because they will badger then too.

When I get turned down I am filled with deep and terrible grief and sorrow, for I want every provider that I long for to want to see me. When I'm shot down, I have to go into this spell of self assessment and evaluation, and worth. I ponder for long stretches where I went wrong, wondering what makes me 'unseeable', and even at times considering if I should quit hobbying or not.

It's a tougher blow than I may have admitted to earlier. Even with NBA chicks that I know there's a 99% chance they'll say no anyway. That little piece of me hopes for a breakthrough, and when I'm rejected, the grief and sorrow is still just as disappointing. Usually when it happens, I kinda shut it down for that day and ponder about continuing.

RC, I wish I had a virtual Kleenex to hand you to wipe those theatrical tears, LOL..

LOL...somehow, I don't believe you on this R.C. :-D

Well, it is what it is.

The rejections cut deep.

Every time a provider rejects me, God kills a puppy.