How has this helped you?

I cant think of many wives that would approve/ok going to a strip club, maybe here where we are more open but not in average usa land

Might see how many points I can rack up tonight and catch up with you. Originally Posted by Chellablaine

Not a good idea Chella!

What about taking the wife or SO along with you to the strip club. Wouldn't that be a sign of a healthy relationship?

hell yes if she was into it Rabbit , but i doubt many could handle it . Most would think oh you must not be happy with me and want "her", but like i said thats in average middle america usa

She would be the one that can answer that....lol. I would think that she might be thinking "why aren't I enough, why doesn't he just want to be with me instead of around all these women". Wouldn't surprise me if 9 out of 10 wives were saying that on the inside.

Problem is most men are too selfish to realize they are hurting their wives by doing that. They shit themselves into believing that no way, my wife is all for it. Most women are only doing it to go with the flow all the while it's eating them up inside.

I have a cousin that liked the SC scene and had his wife's blessing. He completely stopped going cause even though she said it was ok he felt he was doing wrong by her.... That is what it's all about gentlemen, sacrificing your wants for her.

Thats exactly spot on EA !

Still new to the hobby, but it sure as hell beats a relationship revolving around abstinence. Why is it that no matter what a guy says (in all honesty, no less), if a woman is uncomfortable with her body appearance, WE pay the price sexually? *sigh*

It ain't always because she is uncomfortable with her body/appearance. It could be something deeper than that.

To give an example: woman grows up hearing how things got slow because of having kids. Remembers how her father wasn't around when they were kids. How mom was sad everyday because of this. 10 years or so down the road she is married and newborns and notices the husband increasingly busy. No time for her. He feels so overwhelmed when he gets off he just wants to relax, doing whatever he wants. Golf, hang with buddies, go out, whatever. She feels like he is pulling away. Then she remembers her father not around and mom sad everyday. Next thing you know she doesn't have the will to be intimate anymore.

Now instead of talking or having the will to listen and find out what the root of the problem is the man feels cheated cause he isn't getting any. So instead of taking the hard road and sacrificing his wants and desires he takes the easy road and sees providers citing it's saving the marriage cause it allows her to take all the time she needs without him pressuring her. All the while she is slipping deeper and deeper into depression and slowly pulling further and further away till there is nothing left.

This is a pretty typical scenario BTW. I'm not saying that ladies don't contribute to marital problems cause they do just as much as men. Just in different ways.

I dont think it would be possible in one night. Besides Im really not as creative.

Not a good idea Chella! Originally Posted by Chica Chaser

It ain't always because she is uncomfortable with her body/appearance. It could be something deeper than that.

To give an example: woman grows up hearing how things got slow because of having kids. Remembers how her father wasn't around when they were kids. How mom was sad everyday because of this. 10 years or so down the road she is married and newborns and notices the husband increasingly busy. No time for her. He feels so overwhelmed when he gets off he just wants to relax, doing whatever he wants. Golf, hang with buddies, go out, whatever. She feels like he is pulling away. Then she remembers her father not around and mom sad everyday. Next thing you know she doesn't have the will to be intimate anymore.

Now instead of talking or having the will to listen and find out what the root of the problem is the man feels cheated cause he isn't getting any. So instead of taking the hard road and sacrificing his wants and desires he takes the easy road and sees providers citing it's saving the marriage cause it allows her to take all the time she needs without him pressuring her. All the while she is slipping deeper and deeper into depression and slowly pulling further and further away till there is nothing left.

This is a pretty typical scenario BTW. I'm not saying that ladies don't contribute to marital problems cause they do just as much as men. Just in different ways. Originally Posted by Eccie Addict

I must be PMSing because this just brought me to tears...lol.

This was exactly my situation except the ex liked certain substances vs. other women. I sat slowly sinking as he grew more distant. I wasn't perfect but I never thought I would be another statistic when I grew up. I do credit this profession with helping me understand Men much better than I used to. We, as girls, get bombarded with fairy tale images and then don't understand why reality isn't like the movies. These fairy tales only serve as a way to keep Men and Women from really communicating and learning about one another. It sets the scene for the ever popular head games that get played.

I never judge a client, married or not. I have gained so much insight in this life I definitely wouldn't change it, but I also know I don't "save" marriages. Through all the problems I faced in a marriage I never even thought once about going outside the union. I've always told BFs and my once SO that if they felt the love was lost that all they had to do was come talk to me a be on their merry way. I left the door open for that type of communication because I wanted the same respect back that I would've given out. This is also another reason that I will never be in a relationship while I offer companionship. It's not fair to me or the other person to have to split my heart between two egos just to make money. There are many more decent Men in the world than we realize. EA has just made that point with almost every post in this thread. (And, if I'm lucky, I'll have the chance to raise at least one more.)

Thanks everyone! Thought provoking correspondence on a SHMB.

I'll say it again gentlemen... I believe that marriage is and will be probably the hardest thing you will ever do. Neither person will ever give more of themselves than they will in a marriage. That is if it is real.

This profession is probably one of the hardest professions a woman will ever do. No othe job will you give as much to another person than they do in this. They put themselves in a position to be judged in a way that can eat away at them for years to come. Granted they make that choice or some do it cause they feel they have no other choice and a piece of them is poked at each and every day. Most men see it as just sex and in a way once a price is put on it then it is.... in a way.... but I feel a woman deserves a little (call it what you want) compassion. Men are easy to please, women are a bit more complicated but not so complicated that they can't be understood.

Not saying that anyone deserves any excuse for doing someone wrong here.... I just feel that all women deserve a little compassion.

I think it's possible to over-analyze just about anything . . .

Sometimes it's best just not to think too much about something and go with your gut . . . and never look back.

Everybody has to choose what they think is best for themselves and be prepared to accept the consequences and reap the rewards of their decisions....

Darn skippy! It's one thing if we all of a sudden gain 100 pounds, stop shaving our legs, stop cooking and cleaning, and cut off the sex, but Ummm if he is getting action on demand, meals cooked, house cleaned, and no drama, he better save that bs excuse for someone dumb enough to buy it. Originally Posted by London Rayne

Wait, you mean the wives are the ones who are supposed to be shaving their legs ?

Okay, so I'll be serious for once.

When I got married the second time, everything was wonderful for the first 11 years. My wife and I went at it 5 times a week and everything was offered willingly. Then she went through eary menopause at 41, and our sex life went downhill dramatically. Now sex ( if I'm lucky ) is twice per month, oral sex is more of a chore to her than foreplay, and greek went out the window completely.

Being a guy who desired these activities more than food, I started looking elsewhere. Providers did just that....they provided what I needed. Since retirement I get out less and less, but once I have been able to meet these needs with a provider, I am much happier at home. I still love my wife. That will never change. But until I get too old to get excited, these little "vacations" keep me going.