Ray and jojo you guys have head on your shoulders and thank you sirs.
OP everyone is looking for money to pay the bills. But humans have emotions and sometimes the emotions and chemistry can build a solid foundation. At times during holidays you tend to get more calm and sentimental as you see the aura and festivities around you. Go visit your extended family and try other options before truly jump in. But you should pursue if that's your heart and mind says.
Your mission is tougher than
A. Bringing the shuttle home with 7 lives in it...
B. landing the jet on an aircraft carrier with 8 ft pitch and 10-15 degree roll in the middle of the night with 15 minutes of fuel left.
But you can do it if expectations are clear and you are confident.
God speed op....merry christmas