Can one really love their spouse and hobby?

Dammit, Doug, don't you know that we're a CHRISTIAN nation, and those other countries are just a bunch of heathens?!?

Why do any of you care about the OP's question? Only the hobbyist knows how he REALLY feels about his wife/SO. Everyone hobbies for their own reasons. Feelings aren't the same across the board. People around here need to worry more about themselves and way less about why others are here. This place is supposed to be for FUN! It's a complete "libido" killer lately.

Why do any of you care about the OP's question? Only the hobbyist knows how he REALLY feels about his wife/SO. Everyone hobbies for their own reasons. Feelings aren't the same across the board. People around here need to worry more about themselves and way less about why others are here. This place is supposed to be for FUN! It's a complete "libido" killer lately. Originally Posted by Kendall4U

A big HELL YES to this ^^^^^^
Take the "Holier Than Thou" shit someplace else...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
DITTO!!

I adore my SO . . .
She adores me . . .

When we hobby, we hobby together!

We are both over 50 and it took that long to realize that "its only sex".

Luckily we didn't have to deal with lies and deceit, and THAT seems to be a far bigger problem than the sex.

Heck, if a guy or gal in a sexless marriage whack off in the bathroom every night to porn does that mean they don't "love" their SO?

Dammit, Doug, don't you know that we're a CHRISTIAN nation, and those other countries are just a bunch of heathens?!? Originally Posted by TinMan

TM, if that was tongue in cheek, got it!

If not, using "are", you are living in the 19th century and very early 20th. WW1 started the disintegration of the Christian society in this great nation. The 60's accelerated that trend.

We have a mess today. You might also say the illegal immigration has compounded that as well.

The simple answer is yes. For example, I love steak, but I sometimes eat pork or chicken and even a fish now and then, but I still love steak.

There might be a lot of excuses, explanations or metaphors but this is a real hard question to answer ...
We will always try to explain our own behavior ...

Not an universal answer ...

The simple answer is yes. For example, I love steak, but I sometimes eat a porker or a chicken-legged Bitch, and even a fishy-smelling pussy now and then, but I still love steak. Originally Posted by golforfish

fixed it for you!

I doubt my reply will be very popular,but here goes...

This depends on whether you define marriage by today's society, or by the true concept of marriage. By today's standards, where couples have the standard marriage vows changed to suit their own beliefs, yes, you can love your wife, and still hobby.

However, if you go by the original concept of marriage, yes you can love your wife and still hobby, but you are not loving her *as* your wife. Just read the standard vows of marriage. If you are hobbying, you are breaking nearly all of them.

I hobbied many years ago, but when I married the love of my life, I stopped and didn't look back. To do otherwise, would have been dishonoring my wife. The only reason you see me here today is that she passed away two years ago.

Marriage. Love. Religion. Sex. Those are words that have different meanings to different people. And I believe that it all should be a personal choice in how you approach those four words and a lot of other things in your life. The bottom line: Don’t do anything illegal and don’t hurt anybody if what you’re doing is “legal.”
This is all personal. Why do the providers provide? Why do the hobbyists hobby? I don’t know and I don’t care. I only know why I hobby. I also know why I continue to spend lots of time (and some money) on porn that helps me jack off when I have “me” time. That’s my business. I’m Captain Ahab and continue to search for the written and visual porn (stories, scenes, situations) that help my solo journeys. Everybody else, do what you can and what you want to keep your horns trimmed. I won’t judge.
I’ve been in a sexless marriage for the last 20 years. My wife is my best friend. She knows I jack off, she doesn’t know how often or what kind of porn helps get me off. And she doesn’t know I hobby so I continue to be selective and careful.

Men have this urge to roam. I don't think it's in their blueprint to be faithful. But I think he loves her. He just might not get what he's needing at home sexually or he likes to sample different honey pots.
I believe a man or woman can love more than one person at a time too. Originally Posted by SamanthaFoxx

Well said!

Yeah
Right

I have been married over 20 years.
As marriages, people Change and what was before is not now.
I have a wife that loves her kids and aging parents, but not too much time for me.
I am the sole provider and am sick of it.
People grow apart.

No, sorry for a dose of unvarnished truth here, but if you hobby and truly think you love your wife, you don't know what love is. I was married for 30 years and kept every vow I made. If she had done the same I wouldn't be here. I am absolutely sure I will never marry again, but if I ever fall in love again, no more hobby. Love is a lot of things and part of it is sacrifice. I could feel like an idiot for turning down room keys at conventions or declining obvious invitations to cheat during my marriage after my wife fucked every guy at her gym over the last 3 years of the marriage, but I am proud I kept up my end of the promises I made.

I have married friends who are/have been unfaithful and, for the most part, would prefer not to be. We don't commit to go without, folks. Sadly, that happens often.