First, sorry you found yourself in such a situation.
This is not an issue of race. It is an issue of deceit and inappropriate behavior.
Your screening failed to catch his deceit. That is problematic. You should address that.
The client overtly lied by claiming he was something he was not. He sought to purposely circumvent your conditions upon seeing him. His intent on being deceitful should cause you not to open the door. And you should not communicate with him beyond the one time stating why you wouldn't see him and that should only be done by text or a phone call.
His behavior at your door, in the parking lot and through text was inappropriate and troubling enough to cause you some concern about your safety. If you were truly concerned about your safety, you should have called the police to make sure he understood that harassment or intimidation is criminal and carries consequences.
You should let the other providers know his handle in the ladies-only area. His deceit and behavior could be an indicator of larger issues, exhibited when he doesn't get what he wants.
I agree with others, you should not escalate matters telling him you are armed with a gun or mace. If you are that fearful in the moment, call the police. You were safe in your dwelling, not need to boast what you are going to do. But you do have a right to protect yourself. If you have the proper weapons training and permits, you can arm yourself with the weapon of your choice and use it if you feel you are going to be seriously harmed.
Finally, to those who would make this about race. It's not. This is about preference and ultimately deceit. The client could have lied about his age, weight, height, hair color, eye color, etc. If the provider deems she wants to see a select group, it is her right. Just as it is the right of the client to determine the type of provider that appeals to him.
In this case the provider appealed to the client, but the client was not appealing to his provider, because it didn't meet her preference and he overtly lied about it.
Personally, I am not offended by providers stating their preference in their ads. These are advertisements. They are meant to appeal to the market the ladies are trying to attract. A provider is free to make her money in the manner and with whom she feels is best for her. Maybe the term NBA (No Blacks Allowed, No Blacks Accepted) is a bit insensitive, but damn grow some thicker skin. The ads are helpful for nothing else than letting you know you don't have to waste your time getting screened. Imagine if the no AA or NBA were removed because of political correctness, and then black men seeking to appointment were repeatedly turned down after going through screening, with no explanation.
This hobby is built on choice. I am free to spend my money on providers that appeal to me. I don't want someone dictating to me that I have to spend my money on a provider that does not appeal to me.
Originally Posted by Ted E. Bear
Good solid advice.
To the OP, since your current condition puts you in physical limitations, for your safety you should screen thoroughly. Probably, the best response would have been to text or say to the hobbiest in question that you are going to call the cops. That would have made him leave. If you really needed to call the cops, you could have said that there is someone trying to break into your home.
For your safety, install deadbolts on your door. If you are comfortable and willing to use force (firearm/taser/mace etc) acquire one and practice. Do not brandish or announce their presence, but if the door gets kicked down, use it.
Stay safe.
Mark