GSO3 Clinical Trial

Professor dh (aka Mr. SoFiaofhouston): Far be it from me to profess knowledge of scientific experiments, but I was wondering if you've given any thought to throwing a gerbil in to the mix to determine if various rodent species have different reactions to the GSO3; or whether Joanie takes up "felching" as a new hobby?

Just thinking out loud. Armageddon! Originally Posted by TexasGator

Ask Richard Gere about gerbils and the science behind them. No pun interned. Chinchillas............ OH never mind.

does anyone have a bootleg copy they could post? Originally Posted by simpleton

simpleton, I thinck the bug has a bootleg photo of the cover. Originally Posted by dearhunter

Sorry for the delay. I was waiting to receive the expressed/written permission from the lab.

Termite,
That's not cool! Never OUT a brother by posting his picture..................Now put carkido down so he can resume scratching his scrotum.

The OASPDBB is a lot cuter than I thought, look at the tiny scrotum it's just precious.

I am not sure how the bug breached my security in order to get that photo of one of my local rodents. I will have to get my muscle to look into that.......RBJ, look into that.

Clinical trial........Day 6

I have skimmed through hours of video. Joanie is pretty boring when he doesn't have a leg to hump.

One interesting note...........I believe he has started a journal. I will sneak a look later when I have him otherwise occupied.

I received my new shipment rodents to assist me with the experiment.........I want to thank each of you who are supporting this Herculien effort to see what makes Joanie tick.........you will be excited to know I have edited the little hump fest from yesterday..........you can find it on EBay as "Joanie does the Texas 2 Step".

I will now place 8 rodents in the cage with Joanie.............4 male and 4 female.

Joanie has had an interesting day.

I have set upa a reward system on the wheel. If a rodent runs at the wheel long enough a wedge of chees will drop down as a reward.

The female rodents quickly learned that they did not need to run in the wheel. the male rodents would run at the wheel and bring them the cheese in exchange for sexual favors................except for Joanie, that is.

Joanie would run at the wheel and get the cheese when it dropped down. He would eat half of it and attenpt to get some sexual favors with his half portion of cheese.

At first the female rodents accepted his offerings. It did not take long for them to figure out that he was short changing them. they began to refuse him their services.

Joanie became very agitated at this point and became very confrontational with the the other rodents.

It is a good thing I have my Ovaltine language translater.

I will now sneak a peek at Joanie's journal.

From Joanie's Journal:

I am in so much pain. I find that I must coat my nads with GSO3 continuosly in order to get my peepee to work........and it has made me a one shot wonder.

I wonder if the GSO3 is addictive.

I don't know why rodents keep appearing and disappearing. It is like they don't like me or something.

I saw the big face looking at me again today. I will continue to tolerate him as long as he keeps bringing me GSO3 and poon.

What is wrong with these bitches. Why do they want more for poon than I am willing to give. I even offer them GSO3 without charge.

The male rodents are neven worse. When I tell them to describe their sexual acts with the poon, they tell me to fuck off.

What is wrong with those sorry fucktards? They have to write a review so I can find out if they are getting more than I am.

Maybe I can get the face with big eyes to install a button for me to push and get more cheese..........that wheel sucks.

My gonads itch..........I'll be back later.

I am very excited today.

My experiment has been going for a week, and Joanie seems impervious to anything I throw at him. His resiliency is amasing.

Day 7 of the Clinical Trial.

I rotated rodents in and out of the cage throughout the day yesterday. The patern was pretty much the same with each new arrival to Joanie's little world.

Joanie would cajole the female mice to try the GSO3, and alternate between harassment and peepee comparisons with the other male rodents.

But, I have an experiment changer in the works this morning...........I have ordered a RAT. Introducing a RAT to the experiment is no small feat. They don't make good experiment participants. Because they have so much power over the rest of the rodents. They can lock threads and issue points like a Pez Dispenser.................but, I must run this risk for the sake of closure to the most excellent clinical trial ever performed on a hooktard board.

The RAT has arrived and I will now place him in the cage with Joanie and an assortment of other rodents.

It sounds like all the local rodents have caught on to Joanies "bitchy" little attitude.

If anyone is planning a trip to Singapore, maybe can you bring back some native rodents. Just make sure there is no ambiguity in the sexual organs............. I thinck it confuses Joanie.

DH, just tryin' to help, Bro.

No problem, boardman...............input is always appreciated.

I have not performed this clinical trial out of any morbid sense of humor (well, maybe a little) or desire to show anyone how they come across (well, maybe just a little.

It is out of a true desire to understand Joanie and determine what has made him the way he is.

I am on a mission.........and you know how it gets when the Fucking prophet is on a mission.

But, I am excited. I believe I am close to the cause and effect that is Joanie.

Back to the experiment..........

The atmosphere in the cage changed drastically when I put the RAT in the cage.

The female rodents immediately started flirting with the RAT.

Most of the male rodents gave the RAT a lot of room.....with a few attempting to show respect............interesting ly, a couple of the male rodents demonstrated agitation at the RATs presence.

But Joanie..............WTF. I was tempted to stop the experiment and write Joanie off as a loss.

He immeditely started groveling to the RAT and worshiping him like he was a Saint or something. He tried rubbing the RATs scrotum with GSO3 and offered his ass as a sacrifice to a higher authority.

The RAT placated him for a few moments and allowed Joanie to rub his balls.........then pretty much ignored him. The RAT was more interested in the interactions of the male and female rodents (they did seem to be fucking like rabits). He would seperate the rodents when they squabbled. He even sent one rodent to the pit for a few minutes.........when this happened, Joanie immediately ran over, got the hose and offered it to the RAT. The RAT just ignored him.

I noticed that Joanie started mirroring the RATs actions.........like he wanted to be a RAT of something. Of course, this made him the butt of the local rodent jokes...............alas, it is something he will have to live with.

All of this has given me a new incite into why Joanie is the way he is.

I believe I have enough information to conclude this clinical trial in short order.

I will now retire to analyze the data and publish my conclussions with an antidote..........if there is one.

Professor Fucking Prophet we all await your conclusions, this has been a very interesting experment. While you have no true peers, the other investigators have learned a great deal from your work!

I have completed my analysis of the clinical trial to determine the cause and effect of GSO3.

I have taken tissue cultures from Joanie to assess the DNA structures that may have metabolized into mutant DNA strains due to the contact with GSO3.

I have been able to track recess genes in Joanie all the back to the beginning.

Here is the clinical data:
In the beginning there were fish swimming around in water. Then one day a couple of fish came in contact with GSO3 and had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different, so it got to live. So Retard Fish comes in contact with GSO3 and goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day, a retard baby fish crawls out of the ocean with its mutant fish hands and it has butt sex with a squirrel and made this retard frog squirrel. The retard frog squirrel got hold of some GSO3, then had a retard baby which was a monkey-fish-frog. This monkey-fish-frog got hold of some GSO3 and had butt sex with a monkey, and that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed a rodent…………………and that made Joanie.
So there you go! Joanie is the retarded offspring of a rodent having butt sex with 4 monkeys and a fish-frog-squirrel, while high on GSO3.

Cause and Effect:
If those fucking fish had been in blue water, they wouldn’t have even seen the GSO3…..and none of this would have happened.

Solution:
Make sure you have blue water at your incall.

You may now critique my work..............

Bravo Professor, Excellent work.
Without trying to be "master of the obvious" tho, it always comes back to the blue water.

Very clever parody! Swift would be proud of you.

Of course a side note, the problem with blue water is that while it guards against many things it is very bad for your plumbing and may cause you to blow a gasket.

Even if it only results in a slow leak, that is still troublesome. Who want's to wants to jiggle the handle all day?

..................said the offspring of a retarded fish-frog-squirrel as it rubbed GSO3 on its scrotum.

Hmmmm. . .

Personal attack and abusive name calling?

From DH????

I am shocked and dismayed.