Question Of Etiquette (and post #1000!)

Since this post is about etiquette I would like to bring this into light. It is very very very poor etiquette to ever ask someone for a straight-up freebie and then tell them you are sorry you didn't realize they didn't date "john's". It is horrible horrible etiquette to ever be so assuming and arrogant to say that to someone. It would be like a provider telling you that they would like you to come over and give them money but not have bcd with you. WRONG WRONG WRONG!!

Hello? Am I too late? Is this the right number?

Some of the objections brought out from a thread like this have always puzzled me.

Ladies, help me to understand; why you wouldn't want to be even discreetly approached by a private offer that is outside your posted goals? Be it from a regular or not. It seems to me to defeat your own self-interest.

Please hear me out.

Assuming that contact is made with appropriate tact, you at minimum have the option to bring in income that would otherwise be absent, or to respectfully decline and go on about your business. How is this opportunity to decide not advantageous? Suppose its been a slow week? You're in the mood for luv? Baby needs a new pair of shoes?

For example, say some gal's norm is $$$$/hr or $$$/hr or $$5/hr or $$/hr $5/hr or whatever amount, no posted halfs.

And lets say that workin' man John Doe has $$ or $50 or $ or whatever amount that he can comfortably part with on a regular basis and would love to meet said lady, but doesn't want to start a friendship that is going to quickly fall outside his means. Therefore, since he has been conditioned that he must look elsewhere as proper etiquette, that amount is never made available to you as an option.

So as it sits...

You would rather not hear of a request for an exception of a half hour of your time that he can financially accommodate?

You would rather not hear of a request of an off the clock drinks or dinner before your normal BCD rate that he can afford?

Basically you would rather not hear of any offer that falls considerably outside your published norm?

Is an outside the norm inquiry clearly an insult to a provider's self-esteem? Is there not even a sense of flattery to being desired by someone not so well-heeled, even if you can choose to pass?

I understand the Slippery Slope argument clear enough. And if you're as busy as you want to be, I understand that as well.

It just seems to me that for some, having a second tier hobbyist on the line is better than not, assuming it stays UTR. I don't see why an offer like that should instantly make you persona non grata...

Yet it does.



Respectfully submitted.

Since this post is about etiquette I would like to bring this into light. It is very very very poor etiquette to ever ask someone for a straight-up freebie and then tell them you are sorry you didn't realize they didn't date "john's". It is horrible horrible etiquette to ever be so assuming and arrogant to say that to someone. It would be like a provider telling you that they would like you to come over and give them money but not have bcd with you. WRONG WRONG WRONG!! Originally Posted by Devynn von Tease

Since we apparently were typing at the at the same time, let me be the first to respond.

Yes, that would definitely be bad.

Since this post is about etiquette I would like to bring this into light. It is very very very poor etiquette to ever ask someone for a straight-up freebie and then tell them you are sorry you didn't realize they didn't date "john's". It is horrible horrible etiquette to ever be so assuming and arrogant to say that to someone. It would be like a provider telling you that they would like you to come over and give them money but not have bcd with you. WRONG WRONG WRONG!! Originally Posted by Devynn von Tease

That's weird, and wrong. Hopefully whoever did that is a newbie and is just unaware.

I wish I could say they were a newbie =( And, I wish I could say that after they asked for a free session they would have stopped there when I explained how absolutely insulting that was and not gone on to add insult to injury by saying they didn't realize I had a policy against dating clients. I think it is presumptuous, rude and completely inappropriate. It is no one's business who I date, and it is very insulting to ask someone for a free session. It shows that you have absolutely no respect for professionalism or for them. A good provider respects her clients time, money and discretion. A good "client" should do the same.

I wish I could say they were a newbie =( And, I wish I could say that after they asked for a free session they would have stopped there when I explained how absolutely insulting that was and not gone on to add insult to injury by saying they didn't realize I had a policy against dating clients. I think it is presumptuous, rude and completely inappropriate. It is no one's business who I date, and it is very insulting to ask someone for a free session. It shows that you have absolutely no respect for professionalism or for them. A good provider respects her clients time, money and discretion. A good "client" should do the same. Originally Posted by Devynn von Tease

I don't know how recently this was, but you should put them on ignore. Again, sorry this is happening to you.

Hello? Am I too late? Is this the right number?

Some of the objections brought out from a thread like this have always puzzled me.

Ladies, help me to understand; why you wouldn't want to be even discreetly approached by a private offer that is outside your posted goals? Be it from a regular or not. It seems to me to defeat your own self-interest.

Please hear me out.

Assuming that contact is made with appropriate tact, you at minimum have the option to bring in income that would otherwise be absent, or to respectfully decline and go on about your business. How is this opportunity to decide not advantageous? Suppose its been a slow week? You're in the mood for luv? Baby needs a new pair of shoes?

For example, say some gal's norm is $$$$/hr or $$$/hr or $$5/hr or $$/hr $5/hr or whatever amount, no posted halfs.

And lets say that workin' man John Doe has $$ or $50 or $ or whatever amount that he can comfortably part with on a regular basis and would love to meet said lady, but doesn't want to start a friendship that is going to quickly fall outside his means. Therefore, since he has been conditioned that he must look elsewhere as proper etiquette, that amount is never made available to you as an option.

So as it sits...

You would rather not hear of a request for an exception of a half hour of your time that he can financially accommodate?

You would rather not hear of a request of an off the clock drinks or dinner before your normal BCD rate that he can afford?

Basically you would rather not hear of any offer that falls considerably outside your published norm?

Is an outside the norm inquiry clearly an insult to a provider's self-esteem? Is there not even a sense of flattery to being desired by someone not so well-heeled, even if you can choose to pass?

I understand the Slippery Slope argument clear enough. And if you're as busy as you want to be, I understand that as well.

It just seems to me that for some, having a second tier hobbyist on the line is better than not, assuming it stays UTR. I don't see why an offer like that should instantly make you persona non grata...

Yet it does.



Respectfully submitted. Originally Posted by Joel Goodson

I don't think you have anything to lose by asking. I don't think it's really rude.

It does however make the whole "transaction" kinda awkward. Discussing or negotiating money kinda bursts the GFE bubble.

If I was ever hard up for business I'd put up an ad or send a special directly to my regular clients.

I assume most providers also run specials or send out deals when they are slow. So it seems like the better bargain hunting strategy would be to read the ads and see what's on sale.

All a request for a discount or a half hour session is going to do with me is make me feel awkward about having to say no. It's kinda like when a guy you aren't interested in asks you for a date. You don't want to say yes, but you also don't want to hurt is feelings or make him think you're a stuck up bitch. I don't know... maybe the guys asking for the discounts don't feel weird about it but I always feel a bit uncomfortable having to say no and personally, I would rather not be asked. But again, not gonna bust anyone's balls for trying.

But again, not gonna bust anyone's balls for trying. Originally Posted by Sensual Sophia

Clearly, you shouldn't. Any sort of testicle torture typically constitutes a fetish session and they go for an additional premium, not a discount.

I assume most providers also run specials or send out deals when they are slow. Originally Posted by Sensual Sophia

Thank you for your response Sophia. I can understand your point of view. You are quite lovely by the way. I reckon that is a rare moment for you indeed.

Hello? Am I too late? Is this the right number?

Some of the objections brought out from a thread like this have always puzzled me.

Ladies, help me to understand; why you wouldn't want to be even discreetly approached by a private offer that is outside your posted goals? Be it from a regular or not. It seems to me to defeat your own self-interest.

Please hear me out.

Assuming that contact is made with appropriate tact, you at minimum have the option to bring in income that would otherwise be absent, or to respectfully decline and go on about your business. How is this opportunity to decide not advantageous? Suppose its been a slow week? You're in the mood for luv? Baby needs a new pair of shoes?

For example, say some gal's norm is $$$$/hr or $$$/hr or $$5/hr or $$/hr $5/hr or whatever amount, no posted halfs.

And lets say that workin' man John Doe has $$ or $50 or $ or whatever amount that he can comfortably part with on a regular basis and would love to meet said lady, but doesn't want to start a friendship that is going to quickly fall outside his means. Therefore, since he has been conditioned that he must look elsewhere as proper etiquette, that amount is never made available to you as an option.

So as it sits...

You would rather not hear of a request for an exception of a half hour of your time that he can financially accommodate?

You would rather not hear of a request of an off the clock drinks or dinner before your normal BCD rate that he can afford?

Basically you would rather not hear of any offer that falls considerably outside your published norm?

Is an outside the norm inquiry clearly an insult to a provider's self-esteem? Is there not even a sense of flattery to being desired by someone not so well-heeled, even if you can choose to pass?

I understand the Slippery Slope argument clear enough. And if you're as busy as you want to be, I understand that as well.

It just seems to me that for some, having a second tier hobbyist on the line is better than not, assuming it stays UTR. I don't see why an offer like that should instantly make you persona non grata...

Yet it does.



Respectfully submitted. Originally Posted by Joel Goodson

Joel: I have to agree on some of the many points you made. Personally, I have no problems with sometimes making adjustments to the posted donations in certain cases. All these cases being what they are- are treated as they come and each one fairs in difference. Very often, I will offer a "Regular Friends" discount in my weekly ads as well as "newbie" specials, military, senior rates and even student ones. I know that many people have different situations just like I myself do at times. I am not at all "Charity Pussy" but I find that when I offer a discount in certain, situation I meet some very nice people who I would, otherwise, not have met. I do appreciate gents reading my ad and following my procedures and listed donations. Very much so. On the other hand, I do not completely discourage or ignore a member who may be on tight ends. In some situations it has worked out and he has even offered to see me again and give me a huge tip for doing so the first time. I regularly saw a pre med college student who really valued my student discounts and when he became a doctor he paid way more than my advertised donation for my time. I appreciate and value a friendship like that.

However, I will not ALWAYS turn down everyone. I mean I do have MY personal limits, but all inquires are welcomed and never taken to heart. It is after all a business and one does have to expect, TO A POINT, that there is a certain respect and limitation. And for me (and the record) it is alot about "HOW" you approach me in doing so with regard to a discount. Since this is a touchy subject for many, as well as myself, I dont think outright disrespect is going to get one very far. I would be a bit ticked off if I were offered...say 20 for an hour. That is just pathetic.

To sum it all up, the worst I will say is NO. The best I will say is YES, but I will not sit outright and hold an auction by bargaining with a member who keeps going lower and lower because most of my specials are quite good as is and really do not need any further discounts applied. Just my .02.

Anyway, I may have rambled a bit....or even gone off topic...sorry.

Respectfully,
KKA