A Polite Reminder to the Ladies of Things That Should Be Perfectly Obvious

I'm working on it now.. Originally Posted by Valerie

I would like to help.

"You may have spent too much time warning me to not to come here, here, here, here, here, here, here or here...

Either way, you fucked up and for the sake of the next guy, fix yourself.

Bonus Lesson: No, I won't lend you money. Either offer to fuck my brains out or don't ask. End of discussion.

-- OMG I can't deal. Lmao!! Yup it's official I'm so going to love Houston.

Lmao.... I fuckin love it!!

Please dont put so much lube that it feels like am sliding in and out of a hole with no sensation at all. It makes it seem like #1 you are not excited and cant generate your own lube even after foreplay, and #2 you dont enjoy sex which affects my performance too. I absolutely love this thread..

CLEAN YOUR VAGINA, DAMN IT!!

All this sounds good

I am seriously pissed that I don't control who receives the Nobel Prize for non-fiction, because this post DESERVES it. Fucking brilliant sir.

Kinda harsh, but if you have to tell a woman how to clean her place and her body before you get there thats a shame.

sooo agree

Put your phone on SILENT. Not turn the sound down or on vibrate. I can still hear it. If it's dark in the room, turn it over. I don't need it lighting up like 911 on a bad night.
If you have an animal (dog cat or yes even a bird) put it far enough away. It's annoying when it's making more sounds than you.I didn't pay for the freak show. Especialy when rover is cold nosing my privates.
Your girlfriend should all ready be gone, not just wait in the bathroom untill were finished.
Learn what the hell GFE is. If you don't want to discuss details over the phone than at least answer the GFE question before I drive over and waste my time.

Damn great thread. This should be required reading before getting verified provider status. IJS

My main wish is that more providers had current, non-glamour shots in their showcases. If it looks professionally done, airbrushed, or if I have seen the same pictures for months or years I'll skip it. I want to see what you actually look like. Originally Posted by linux

Totally.
These pictures are beautiful, but I think the real ones are so much sexier.

I think most of the gentlemen's complaints have been covered. However, I'd like to add something. It's not up to the lady to get me erect. If she is attractive enough and doing the right things it will occur naturally. Those who think it is her job are mistaken. I will say that ladies who act like they don't want to be there shouldn't be. I realize that most of the time the ladies don't know what their client looks like. If he tells you he is in his 50s or 60s and you are 21 and you still make the appointment don't act like he is a monster that came out of your closet! There is a certain amount of info any gentlemen will provide. Last I heard the choice of who plays the golf course and which holes is still up to the lady. Having hobbied for many years, I have never appreciated a lady who takes me to the restroom just after I walk in the door and tells me to shower and rinse my mouth. In my case, all that has been done not long before I arrived. A woman who asks me to do it again is telling me that she doesn't think I'm clean enough or she thinks all the men who visit her are dirty. Very few ladies have their used condoms still on the floor. I like the way I have been treated in most cases. In any case, those things which make it seem like a business transaction and less like how I wanted my wife to treat me, are the items that a provider should take in to account. When the man finishes don't say " I hope you enjoyed it because I didn't!" I've had that said to me. Needless to say, I never went back. You can't please all of the people all of the time. However, I've had enough experiences where both of us have had a pleasant time.

I agree with you on this. If I don't get comfortable with the guy then our time isn't going to go well. If a guy didn't say shit and was rude to me then I'd ask him to leave because I'd just feel awkward. But then there are certain times where the guy just talks and talks and talks and I just want to gag him LOL! I think talking is fine to get to know someone, but not to the point where it drives the other person crazy. I guess it all depends on the situation really. Originally Posted by Jemma Martin

Yeah. This is coming from the girl that just lays there. Seems you still have t made yourself comfortable yet.