When Clients Change

When I started Leah Ireland a few years ago I met with a client who for a long time was just the loveliest man. European, charming, we always went to the best places and had the best times. I thought for a while he was a friend, then I thought not.

A year or so ago he was very badly behaved and I started speaking to him. He sent me a pretty simple sorry note and that was it. A couple of months ago he called me and was more profusely apologetic, we met up a few more times and had a wonderful time. Then last time, after we'd had a wonderful time at great restaurants then I took him to more personal hangouts of mine that I never take clients to (and he absolutely adored), he was unpleasant again. So that is finally it.

To get to my question - I think the deterioration in his character has been catalyzed by his financial pressures. That's no excuse, but I think that's it.

Have other ladies been finding as part of their work they've had to be dealing with the effects of financial pressures on their clients? Above and beyond what was going on before?

Personally in addition to this I've been finding that clients have become a lot more unreliable because of pressures on their time. Originally Posted by Leah Ireland

I can relate to this, i do think when people are under pressure it tends to affect their character. This also happens in friendships, no matter the financial status. We all - since no one of us is perfect (except me of course ...hahahahahahahhaah a ) - have character shades that tend to bring out variety of personalities. Unless the treatment is so out of line and disrespectful, its not such a big deal.

Another aspect might be the one i have been preaching on this board constantly since signing up and is talked about in"the aging escort" so i won`t bother boring you guys again with going into the details - its the "providers have lower standards generally since years and the rise of the internet and pretentious behaviour instead of the real deal seems to be on the normative standards AND sell" - rant.

if guys - generally speaking - get a way with a lot worse behaviour and still get GFs / appointments /whatnot then they will continue to lower the standards, because - YES THEY CAN.

I have witnessed several clients changing their behaviour due to various personal issues, some of them recovered , some didn`t and its pretty normal. When i worked in europe women used to work closer together and we observed clients together so it might be easier to realize changes than its here, where you mostly don`t know about other women`s experiences with the same clients, since we don`t have a client review board and in my experience in the US (don`t kill me) the "tell tales about how much money women make and how clients treat them like princesses" - when the reality is beyond that is - worse than in europe - where you see with your own eyes how a client treats other women same like you. So i would not rely on stories from women about clients , since it mostly is the same with women posting reviews about themselves on their pages - as braggadacious as possible - with absolute no grain of truth ever possible simply serving to boost some "superiourity complex" some women or people generally have.

The human condition.

Fascinating.

leopards don't change their spots and a man won't hurt a woman he cares for because he fucked up money.. Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius

what if things and care priorities change? If what you say is true then relationships would never end and you would have never been divorced either (same like me )

I'm beginning to think that what really happened was you just pissed the guy off. Originally Posted by Doove

Well, I don't think that happened, but this board is a pretty good place to get a sense of a lady or a gent.

Consider the following statements:

1. Ladies should never, ever pay for anything on a date
2. First few dates are best, after that guys want more, more, more (as opposed to Olivia's point of view)
3. Always picks the restaurant.

Nothing wrong with wanting or thinking any of those things but it does give a sense of personality.

To answer the OP’s question, I don’t think he is suffering from external financial pressures so much as pressuring you to accept less because personal feelings are / have developed for you by him. It’s the demimonde world’s chicken and the egg quandary.



Actually I find the opposite to be true. After we’ve been seeing one-an-other a while, hell yes! we certainly begin to explore our sexuality together. There are a few things that I’m just not into and no amount of pushing is going to get me to do it. I actually like it a little rough though……………… Originally Posted by OliviaHoward

Olivia, to each their own. These were just my experiences, not the rule. I do not like to be pressured into doing things or rough sex because I had a boyfriend who was quite abusive to me for years, and he did just that: push my limits and was rough. I lived in that situation for too long. So I'd rather not go there again. I'm not looking for symphathy, I'm just explaining what happened and why I may be ultra sensitive to clients who change and begin to push my limits. I do not like that type of behaviour and it stems from the abusive relationship I was in. Olivia, your past may have been different than mine. But for whatever reason, I'm happy that it works out for you.

but this board is a pretty good place to get a sense of a lady or a gent.
Originally Posted by discreetgent

Is it really?

Is it really? Originally Posted by WTF

It can be, it is not always the case.

It can be, it is not always the case. Originally Posted by discreetgent

Agreed.

ans lest we forget , we are not as poetic as MA.

Both Famous! And ....Infamous!

Both Famous! And ....Infamous! Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius

90% one and 10% the other!

I have noticed that clients do change over time. I have not had the exact experiences you have, but I have experienced clients who change. The main thing I've noticed is that they get rougher sexually. Some continue to push your limits. One jerk even ADMITTED blunt face to me, that he deliberately pushes me more and more to try and get more activities out of me. I mean how stupid can you be? Maybe he was seeking reassurance that it was OK for him to do that. I noticed what he was doing, but for him to admit it? That was a wake up moment. I refused to see him after that. I clean house often. The more I stay in this business the less and less lenient I become with ALL bullshit, in ALL aspects of my life. So I have noticed clients do change, the more comfortable they become with you, the more they just try to take from you. Take free OTC time, pressure you for Off The Menu activities like anal or BBFS, rougher sex, clinginess, discounts. In my experience, the first few appointments are the best. The client is still on his best "visitors" behavior. But after those few appointments, once they get comfortable thats when they start to feel entitled to MORE, much more. Just my experience, not the rule. In some situations for me, I just prefer to meet new clients then deal with the growing greed and pressures from current regulars. Originally Posted by incognito isis

Major 2 way street here! I've experienced a decline in attitude/ performance on repeat visits, past 4, with a number of women.

"Familiarity breeds contempt"

I can relate to this, i do think when people are under pressure it tends to affect their character. This also happens in friendships, no matter the financial status. We all - since no one of us is perfect (except me of course ...hahahahahahahhaah a ) - have character shades that tend to bring out variety of personalities. Unless the treatment is so out of line and disrespectful, its not such a big deal.

Another aspect might be the one i have been preaching on this board constantly since signing up and is talked about in"the aging escort" so i won`t bother boring you guys again with going into the details - its the "providers have lower standards generally since years and the rise of the internet and pretentious behaviour instead of the real deal seems to be on the normative standards AND sell" - rant.

if guys - generally speaking - get a way with a lot worse behaviour and still get GFs / appointments /whatnot then they will continue to lower the standards, because - YES THEY CAN.

I have witnessed several clients changing their behaviour due to various personal issues, some of them recovered , some didn`t and its pretty normal. When i worked in europe women used to work closer together and we observed clients together so it might be easier to realize changes than its here, where you mostly don`t know about other women`s experiences with the same clients, since we don`t have a client review board and in my experience in the US (don`t kill me) the "tell tales about how much money women make and how clients treat them like princesses" - when the reality is beyond that is - worse than in europe - where you see with your own eyes how a client treats other women same like you. So i would not rely on stories from women about clients , since it mostly is the same with women posting reviews about themselves on their pages - as braggadacious as possible - with absolute no grain of truth ever possible simply serving to boost some "superiourity complex" some women or people generally have. Originally Posted by ninasastri

I very much agree with what Nina said, including about in Europe where we might see the same clients and although there might have been very different behaviours from the same clients, none of it was crap.

And there were also women who did set themselves up for crap very clearly.

Well, I don't think that happened, but this board is a pretty good place to get a sense of a lady or a gent.

Consider the following statements:

1. Ladies should never, ever pay for anything on a date
2. First few dates are best, after that guys want more, more, more (as opposed to Olivia's point of view)
3. Always picks the restaurant.

Nothing wrong with wanting or thinking any of those things but it does give a sense of personality. Originally Posted by discreetgent

I was thinking of this post and when I first read it I thought - of course!

But actually I did see clients for years in England who were never anything but wonderfully charming and kept to time parameters - if there were any. That used to be the norm, from what older ladies told me. I think the fact that clients are acting up these days may be due to the lower standards promulgated by the internet amongst other things.

Re. picking the restaurant - aside from me considering picking the restaurant to be a woman's prerogative, and the fact that men always ask me which restaurant I suggest we go to suggests that's the norm, I take a great deal of pleasure in introducing dates to restaurants they may not know. Even guys who think they're very jet set on South Beach often know very little about great restaurants and places off the island.

Dates who fly in are usually/always delighted with where we go. Even men I know who live in Miami are usually delighted with some of the places I know. Sometimes that's useful for their business too. One client - actually the one that precipitated this thread - was so thrilled with a particular restaurant I took him to on South Beach, he'd tried to get a similar experience for his work force in Fort Lauderdale and had been very unhappy about it. When I took him to a particular restaurant he immediately chose it for his next work force dinner.

It's hard for me to remember a guy choosing the restaurant, I remember it happening once in Fort Lauderdale and I really enjoyed it because of the wine list, but it's hard to remember any other time.

OK that's enough of trying to work off insomnia on this board, I'm going to do crunches now.

Well, we've pretty much decided that people are human and don't behave perfectly at all times. Once or twice I have taken ladies to very nice and moderately expensive restaurants and have been disappointed at their behavior. In each case they over ordered and ate very little. I got the impression that they were conducting a "taste test" of the menu (as well as the wine list)...LOL! I suppose that off center senses of entitlement are common traits to men and women. As in other areas of today's world, respect and consideration of the other has slipped - good manners ain't what they used to be.

And there were also women who did set themselves up for crap very clearly. Originally Posted by Leah Ireland

Oh please, yes.. My god.... I could tell stories :-)....... :-))).....

Well, I don't think that happened, but this board is a pretty good place to get a sense of a lady or a gent.

Consider the following statements:

1. Ladies should never, ever pay for anything on a date
2. First few dates are best, after that guys want more, more, more (as opposed to Olivia's point of view)
3. Always picks the restaurant.

Nothing wrong with wanting or thinking any of those things but it does give a sense of personality. Originally Posted by discreetgent

you are right, i see your point, but still... honesty is better than those secret golddiggers who pretend to be feminists but just "happen" to date wealthy men all the time and use their money or their jobs for their own self esteem.