This is probably not precise enough, or controllable, so that a lady could use it as input to improve the quality of the experience she offers her clients. But it's a welcome distraction from a problem I'm dealing with at work.
Minimum standards for (but not a guarantee of) a return- Attractive.
- The sex was good.
- She gave me the impression that she enjoyed her work -- at least as much as I enjoy my work, i.e., "I wouldn't do it for free, but if I gotta work, this is an OK way to earn a living."
- Positive outlook, happy; a good smile is a great asset.
- Professionalism at TCB. (I understand that the ladies have a real life and may have other commitments, so it's not a demerit if she can't respond to an email for a couple of days.)
"Wow, I really want to see her again!" a/k/a, move to the front of the line, potential ATF material
(Although the apparent purpose of the thread is "what can the ladies do better," these are not really something that can be controlled or actions to take -- it's about who the lady
is, not what she
does. Not to mention that WALDT/CASG, and a potential ATF for me may leave other clients cold.)
- Intelligent, articulate, witty, great (and compatible?) sense of humor.
- Compatible personalities, and we seem to think alike, with room for some healthy disagreements. This is relatively rare, which probably says something negative about me.
- Feels comfortable with me and almost instantly makes me feel like I've found a new friend. This is not easy either, because I'm an extreme introvert.
- Usually this means someone who isn't too much younger than I am. A lady who is 25 or 30 years younger may not have enough in common with me, whether life experiences or worldview, that we can relate as well. Occasional exceptions, though.
- Comfortable enough with me to tell me when I'm wrong -- the way she would with a friend rather than a client.
- Values personal characteristics that I happen to possess (and I'm not talking about physical).
- Confident; "subservient and spineless" need not apply.
- Seems able to escape the "provider mindset" ("I value and appreciate him as a client and take pride in my work, so I am going to do X because that is what he likes/expects, and I'll probably enjoy it myself"); instead, she interacts with me more like she might with a civilian NSA encounter, with everything flowing naturally (although, yes, she wouldn't be there in the first place if not for the $$$). Although I've described several ladies this way in the past, that was probably an exaggeration while my head was still spinning. When I stop to think about it, in my experience this is not at all common; maybe three or four of the ladies I've met, at most, and I'm not sure about them. I don't expect it and I've had regulars/favorites that didn't achieve it. But when it happens, damn!!
- It's not necessary that I feel like I'm on her personal "top 5 favorite clients" list, and in most cases I imagine I'm not. But she's still enthusiastic/happy to hear from me.
Not many ladies have made it to this level. These are also things that it takes time, maybe several visits, to fully realize and appreciate.
Shout-out to Violet Star (ATF, now retired), Carrie Hillcrest (ATF, when is she coming back from hiatus??), and Ashley Apple (retired?). Ashley Ash (retired) and Jenna/Spikebaby (retired for several years until recently) were also contenders. [Does anyone see a theme developing here?]
A couple of other ladies might have qualified until . . . well, see my last category below. But it's best not to name names in that category.
Things I *never* expect and *rarely* encounter (they're clearly outside the boundaries of a paid encounter, so I don't think less of a lady who doesn't do these, but a lady who does may attract my attention)- Voluntarily extends our time together -- not for more sweaty time together (I'm usually not able) but just because she's enjoying talking with me, etc. (Don't worry, I'm relatively good at noticing hints that it's time to go, and if I don't, I'm not offended when the lady has to be more direct. )
- Not only feels comfortable with me but trusts me (e.g., sharing her real name or other information she might not share with other clients).
- An occasional email or PM just to chat, totally unrelated to an appointment (as opposed to a subtle suggestion that I come see her; those can be nice too, but they're only a small plus factor). But stop short of stalking.
These make me feel valued as a person, not just valued the same as all of her other clients. Or, to put it another way, these make me feel special, even if I'm really not. Conveying that is difficult to do, particularly since I am incapable of flirting and don't handle compliments well, not to mention being a tad skeptical (or even cynical) at times.
What makes me reconsider a "favorite" lady and possibly move her further down the list - Serious time unreliability, to the point that I can't depend on her.
- Distancing herself. For example, failing to respond to emails or PMs, and when I do hear from her later, no mention of it or explanation. (And before you say/think it, no, other than specifically to schedule an appointment, I rarely initiate contact with ladies. I'm always glad to hear from them if they email or PM, and will respond, but I'm extremely cautious about contacting them first.) Or not acknowledging something that went less well than intended; an apology or "compensation" usually isn't appropriate/necessary, but acknowledgement is nice.
- She disappears or stops responding to me for a long period of time, and then gets back in touch -- and it's for a favor or because she needs an appointment.
I may like these ladies a lot, and an occasional instance is no big deal. Shit happens, and this is a business for the ladies, first and foremost. I understand that. But after enough of this sort of thing, I usually come to the conclusion that she doesn't really respect me. I don't expect to be real life buddies, let alone a romantic interest, but I don't enjoy feeling quite so obviously like an impersonal ATM either. I may (or may not) still see a lady who does these things, maybe even on a regular basis. I can reduce P4P to the level of just a service from someone who is very good at providing that service; I still like the ladies I see who are like that. But I'll probably stop thinking of her as a "favorite," let alone "potential ATF."
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You didn't
really make it all the way through that, did you?