amazing what happens when one's not in eccie land for a few days.
someone passes away and someone feels pretty low about life and all the stuff that happens.
there are so many wonderful inspiring thoughts in this thread that it should become a sticky as is Nitwitboy's eulogies and rememberances. they should both be required readings for anyone who joins this sub-culture of ours [remember, it was amber who started this all and she too passed on to the next world].
the good news is that you have the emotions and memories of a human to experience all you've been through and have come out the other side with some strong feelings about it all. many other animals, fishes, insects will never be able to experience things like we humans do. i remember my next oldest brother saying the month before he died "why does it have to hurt so much to love another?" this might be what you were experiencing.
and what i've learned from many spiritual teachers and teachings is that how each of us reacts to life's events [the feelings we have] is something that we can choose [most of the time if our brains and minds are "normal"] - it is not automatic nor the same for all of us. we can laugh it off, rail at it, be saddened, be angry, be happy, be frustrated, be joyous, be awed by it, be accepting.
so, feel your emotions, however deep or shallow they may be, however inspiring or depressing they may be, however transient or timeless they may be. then move on, for while those emotions may imprint a lesson or a memory, they are just your emotions and are not you.
from my perspective, the energy that is each of us somehow coalesced from the energy of our planet which somehow coalesced from our solar system which somehow coalesced from our galaxy which somehow coalesced from our universe. why it all coalesced the exact way it did and who or what might have helped it - those are philosophicals questions that hominids and now homo sapiens have been pondering for millenia!! welcome to the party.
and each of us comes into this life w/out having chosen how, when, where or why. and very few of us will leave this life w/out having chosen how, when, where or why. in the worlds of commandante uno "each of us must die. but how? that is important!!" i would say "each of us must LIVE. but how? that is important!!"
a bit of my story - father died due to diabetes in his late 30s before i was born; one brother died in his late 30s due to immune disease; another died in his late 50s due to liver disease; mother died in her late 80s due to brain degeneration. all my aunts and uncles on both sides - gone. a few cousins and second cousins - gone. a few close friends - gone. some young, some old, some in-between.
what i learned from each and every one of those passings/losses/deaths is that there was absolutely NOTHING i could have done to slow it down, speed it up, or stop it. the universal and the physical forces that were part of their birth and their death (and part of my life) exert a force so powerful that no one can withstand it or control it. so, best to just be there as they go thru their path, share with them the happy and sad times, hold their hand when they cry from fear and from pain. and just be with them!!! it's not fair, but then again, there arent any rules saying what is and isnt fair in this life.
and i learned that when they are gone, you can choose to keep on living, remembering their lives and sharing those memories with others. or you can choose to stop living and put a finality on yours and their memories. i choose the former - to live as best i can, to help as best i can, and to love as best i can. i remember what my next oldest brother's friend [who became a minister] said at his memorial service as he quoted from the bible ...
He will answer them, 'I can guarantee this truth: Whatever you failed to do for one of my brothers or sisters, no matter how unimportant [they seemed], you failed to do for me..... http://bible.cc/matthew/25-45.htm
so, tell yourself, your family, your friends, your acquaintances that you love their beings, enjoy their company, am honored to help and assist them, and that you cherish the memories you have formed and have shared.
but, please, live as best you can and dont give up on the peace, energy and love that surrounds you.
peace be with you.
pmdelites
