At 25, my wife injured her back, two slipped discs and some nerve damage. The nerve injury caused her body to stop producing estrogen, her cervix began atrophying, and she lost all interest in sex.
Her mother died of cervical cancer when she was 12. So she has a huge fear of cervical cancer. HRT [estrogen therapy] might help her, but she is convinced that it would kill her.
Her genitals at completely atrophied. Any touching is painful. Digital manipulation of labia will cause them to rash, the skin cracks easily and bleeds.
She is light-skinned and allergic to just about everything [most lubricants and some soaps].
She hid that her nature was to be 'asexual' during our courtship, and the first 3 years of marriage. She never liked sex, and she has never experienced an orgasm. But she was willing to be playful, for my sake when we were newlyweds.
After her spinal injury, she let herself embrace her natural dis-interest in sex.
She knows that I have a sexual need, but she does not want to know about it in any manner. She wants me to take care of my own needs in a manner where she would never be reminded that my needs exist.
Originally Posted by RetiredSubmariner
"The broad definition of demisexual is that
you only experience sexual attraction in the context of a close, emotional bond." That is nonsense. Regardless of our emotional bond, men still have their prostate fill up, and that means we need some relief. Remember the term: "get your rocks off"?
Good for you. I too have a wife that I love, and care for. When I need sex; the hobby is there.
But when I meet a lady, it is expected that she be a lady and treat me as a gentleman. Too many of the girls just behave badly, talk poorly and treat a guy like he has no value beyond just giving her money. That is an insult!
The successful ladies in this hobby soon find that they can retire. The ugly ignorant ones, who hang on for years, do so because they can't even be a successful companion.
I find few women I would take to the symphony, and my wife can not do that with me any longer. I appreciate the company of women and used to take my granddaughters, but now they are grown and married with young children to lol after.
I work and take care of my wife because we still have a close emotional bond: she is my best friend. By the time she passes I will probably not need sex anymore. But meanwhile, where are the ladies with which we can just have a little fun? Sex is enjoyable. My marriage is a dedication.