The biggest issue for me is trust. The lady acts for a lving, faking orgasms, faking liking the man she is with at the time. Most providers are nice to me because I am a repeat client and I book longer sessions. So, how do I know if she really likes me or if she is just after my money?
Originally Posted by Outdoorsman
You would know if she's after your money or not. With my boyfriend (and again
he was never a client - we just became friends on a hobby board and our relationship grew from there), I always offer to split/pay for things. If she never offers and she's all take, take, take, only contacts you when she want something done, needs money... then it's safe to say that she's only interested in your wallet.
I typically tend to think she is only after my money. That being said, I have known some provders for years now and after that time frame you tend to know how she really feels, it is displayed in her actions. The key is giving love enough time to bloom when it starts off in this environment.
Actions speak louder than words. If she's telling you, how much she "loves" you, "likes you" but yet only comes around when she wants something - again red flag. I have found a lot of guys in this hobby are delusional. Ask her to pay for something and see how that goes. She is an escort. No way she can be "broke".
I know I did not involved with this hobby to find love, actually I was just getting divorced and wanted sleazy sex, not a relationship. But we are all human and we never know when it will happen, we fall for a person.
Agreed!
There aer success stories in this biz of couples making it. The prbolem is the statistics are very, very low. A mountain of prbolems exist in any normal relationship, a relationship found here has two mountains of problems.
Relationships work because TWO people want it to work. A lot of guys here can't see when a lady is clearly using them for money. That is the problem. She makes you THINK you're in a relationship but you're really not. Most of the stories I have heard of falling are clearly NOT relationships. The guy was tricked into thinking he was in a relationship not knowing he was messing with a gold digger.
The jealousy issue is a big one, I cannot have my SO having sex with other men. I know she is not in love with the men she sees, I also know she would rather not be there but needs the income. Some things are just sacred for me, my SO is one of them. I do not sleep with women when in a relationship and I have to have the same in return. i am not in the least bit a jealous person. But getting into a relationship with a provider for me means I have to step up to the plate and support her if we are to be a couple. It is that simple.
Yes. However,One must be mentally secure and strong if he's dating an active provider. Yes she sleeps with other men but let's be honest here - she doesn't have feelings for them. So you read her reviews and now you're mad because you think she liked that particular guy a bit too much - well a big chuck of this business is acting. A lot of guys tend to forget that then start to fall in love with the provider. If you really want to know if she INTO you, call her just to chat, ask her out to dinner (for free),,,etc. Another one of my girlfriends met her husband on a hobby board, he stays home and she works. SHE asked HIM to quit his job and stay at home and screen her calls for her. A lot of people may scream "PIMP" but he's not. Those were her wishes. It wouldn't work for me but it works for them. I've seen them together on several occasions and I've never seen a happier couple. Different strokes for different folks I guess....
I would be willing to invest in a business in her name only to provide her adequate income. It would have to be in her name so she understood I have no desire for her to lose her independence, hell that is part of what attracts me to a lady. But for me to put that kind of money into a venture I do not own, I would have to have the most ultimate of trust and know at the deepest level that she is not using me for my money. Not an easy obstacle to overcome for me.
You are a sweetheart
.
I can certainly deal with the past, not an issue for me, hell I am hobbyest, wann know how many women I fucked? A lot!!!! I chose not to live in the past but in the present and build together for a future.
Again you are a sweetheart
My recommendation is to leave it at a business relationship, but if it happens I understand the only person I have control over is me. I cannot force her to stop working, I cannot make her honest, I cannot force to stop faking orgasms, I cannot expect her to change anything about her. If I can accept that and she is willing to work at "Us" than we have a shot, but she has to make an effort as well. That is what i need to see for me give my trust, an honest effort to be with me.
Well said. As with my bf, I asked him if I should stop providing and he said no that I didn't have to do that. I know he wants me to lol and things would probably be much better if I did (I don't know if it can get any better than this) but this is what it is for now.
Just some honesty from me this afternoon.
xoxoxo,
Zarah