Jealousy - Why we feel the need to be #1?

Well there's no conceit in WTF's family, he got it all. Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius

And there's no pussy cats in your family!

Why would they point me? For telling you to be quite? I don't think so.

. Originally Posted by Ansley

Someone may think you just told me to STFU and think that they can use that kinda language just on any ole body. Someone else uses is on some thinskinner and they report them to the Mod Squad.

Just looking out for you dear, bless your heart~

I don't want to sound nit picky like WTF. But I don't believe NB was talking about a client. I could be wrong. Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius

Now Now MA nit picky is where the brilliant minds in the legal field make the big bucks. It is where the wishy washy have trouble defending certain beliefs. The nit picky questions are the most important. Without you being a bit nit picky Ms Ans might have continued to think incorrectly.

You are absolutely correct Marcus. I thought NB meant 'our group' as being the hobby world. Then she does say she doesn't get that way with clients. Boy I screwed that one up!

Off to take that class in reading comprehension.... Originally Posted by Ansley

Now Dear Ans, STFU until you pass that class!

...and he's got the Cease and Desist Orders to prove it!

Originally Posted by TexasGator

I got a shot of penicillin and cleared that up!

Love and jealousy can evolved regardless of how two people meet. Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

AGREED. YEa! All I was trying to say was that, as humans those emotions are part of our being. It is hard to talk about one without including the other and a host of other emotions. When ya'll were trying to limit the conversation to just that emotion , I merely pointed out how difficult that would be in relationship to the subject. Be like talking about REESE'S Peanut Butter Cups and limiting the discission to chocolate.

Suddenly WTF's posts make sense. Originally Posted by pjorourke

I'm William Shakespeare of the Animal Kingdom.......To be jealous or not to be jealous, That is the question!



A young pet monkey had an accident and needed a brain transplant. The veterinarian told the monkey's human family, "Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the cost yourselves."

"Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the family.

"For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000," replied the vet.

All the men in the family nodded because they thought they understood. But the mother was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male and female brains?"

"Standard pricing practice," said the vet. "The female brains have to be marked down because they’ve actually been used!".

Based on my understanding of "jealousy", it signifies an internal boundary failure. If we value ourselves appropriately, then it matters little how others value us. But if we derive our value from others (other-esteem vs genuine self-esteem) then we are much more vulnerable to feeling a loss if someone's attention is focused on someone/something besides us.

That being said, I have (on occasion) had such a boundary failure. It sucks. But luckily it is quickly righted when I remember the value I hold in myself and that no one else can give me the peace/contentment/love I need and that I am responsible for my own state of mind. It is not always easy, but we can create our own feeling reality.... be it insecurity/jealousy or peace/love. Personally, I choose peace and love. ;-)

It is not always easy, but we can create our own feeling reality.... be it insecurity/jealousy or peace/love. Personally, I choose peace and love. ;-) Originally Posted by Edrienne Cole

I was having a discussion with a lady friend of mine about happiness just the other day. She was trying to convince me how it was a choice.

How does one choose happiness or jealousy? I think you can be educated enough to understand the feeling and from where it comes but I convinced her that I did not choose for my pet to die and the unhappiness that followed.

It's like choosing to be healthy or choosing a religion....you can choose to eat and exercise but fate plays a huge hand in just how healthy one is, just as what religion you 'choose' greatly depends on the religion of your parents.


I think realizing that these emotions are part of the human spirit makes one..........................h uman.

I am not trying to discount a good attitude or doing all one can do to acheive a state of mind but it is not so simple as 'choice'. To think that discounts other people's feelings.......as just a choice.

That punk, Iago, said it best:

O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on; that cuckold lives in bliss
Who, certain of his fate, loves not his wronger;
But, O, what damned minutes tells he o'er
Who dotes, yet doubts, suspects, yet strongly loves!



What it boils down to is the delicate balance between affection and anxiety. Sadly, this nurtured in us at a very young age. As we move from concrete thinkers to abstract thinkers it becomes dangerous, yet we still nurture it int he school systems. Remember all those gold stars and honor rolls? That actually eroded our souls to the point that the "gold stars" in life are fleeting. We barely take time to enjoy them before yet another achievement or affection drifts into our sight and the happiness is dissolved in the bile of anxiety over the next achievement or possession.

Great, deep topic. There are so many responses and everyone has their own definition or reason why they feel jealousy from time to time. I agree with almost everyone. It stems from our own humanity, insecurity, feelings of self-worth.
When I was younger, I was more apt to feel jealousy because I think I looked to others for my own sense of happiness and value. As I have aged and matured, I think I feel that emotion less and less because I am happier with who I am and more accepting of myself. I do not look to others for my esteem, at least not as intensely as I did before.
I have felt it recently, however. And what I concluded was that I had a differing point of view of what my relationship was with this other person. When I finally came to the correct conclusion, I was disappointed but no longer jealous that our feelings for each other were not mutual. At this point in my life, I was able to say "her loss" as I walked away. And I meant it. Not in a cruel or arrogant way, but in a self reliant way.

I was able to say "her loss" as I walked away. . Originally Posted by barneyrubble

If your loss was her loss and her loss was your loss....was there really any loss?

[ Remember all those gold stars and honor rolls? . Originally Posted by ANONONE

Ahhh the ole feedback loop.

So a thread about what the group thinks about a web-site or pictures is childhood programing rearing its ugly head?

You think I could sell bumperstickers that read:

''My escort is a Honor student at Hooker High"