your "devils advocate" means he still has "something to lose"..i clearly said "if a hobbyiest has been outted and has nothing to lose" at that point he could lash back at the person outting him..if he is trying to make amends..then he clearly still has something to lose..and should avoid the person..
I get shit happens..I get info falls into what you thought was trusted hands.. my point is that unless you think the girl you are going to see would be comfortable giving just as much info as she is asking from you..why see her? is it worth it? if she will be armed with enough info to cause you harm and you are trying to spend money..shouldn't you be armed with just as much info and reverse screen her since she is trying to make the money you are spending? who needs who worse..and I mean that honestly.. without willing hobbyiest that conform to extreme screening..there wouldn't be a chance for those ladies to make money..they would either change their practices or find a different job.. they wouldn't however..have enough info to hurt people..
I want to play devil's advocate on that statement.
If the person was outed to a spouse, what if they are still in repair mode and all is not yet lost? Naming the perpetrator of the cowardly act would further incite said perpetrator to try and inflict more damage. Sometimes just the mere fact of posting would show a continued involvement in the hobby and probably the first promise in reconciliation is to quit the hobby.
No drama makes mama happy. I guess mama isn't happy.
If the idiot who mailed the school of a provider's child was publicly named, would that be enough reason for the idiot to do it again at the next school or to her friends and neighbors? He may become more aggressive in hurting her. I use the term idiot to describe the outing party to avoid points for vulgar profanity.
And in this community, sharing the information via private areas will work until a friend, posse member, or white knight is given the info. Then it gets back to the original asshat and the possibility of further aggressive outing starts.
TTH wrote on another thread of people trying to investigate the cause of a dirty deed and the habit of turning it back on the victim. (Brilliantly written IMHO) Is that what is happening on this thread as well? It is easy to say that the personal information should never have been available. It doesn't make it right to use the information to create havoc in someone's life.
There is no real easy answer that would pertain to each individual. My gut feeling right now is that if I was outed that I would go into attack mode and seek revenge. Put their picture with their handle or latest ad on a billboard close to their house or something. If you feel as though you can't be hurt anymore than you already have been, then by all means name the person. If there is still hope of minimizing the damage and reconciling with a loved one, then take care of yourself first. Originally Posted by cheatercheater
In fact.. it did MORE to make me believe it didn't. The person has balls enough to post "OMG THIS HAPPENED" but nothing else? Really???
... The boards are no different than a courtroom. Both sides need to plea their case and let the jury decide.