Let me help you

When will TBE provide guidance as to the proper method for shaving one's kitty?

[SIZE=2"] Here is a contribution from one of our subscribers at theboardmanexperience.com

My sister-in law is from Oklahoma and has a slight accent. She has cats and when she lived in the south she would take them to the groomers and have what is called a Line Cut. To her a line cut is when all of the fur hanging down below the cat's tummy is taken off (because it gets matted or snarled).

When she moved to Chicago with my brother, one of the cats fur got all tangled up during the move so she took it in for a line cut. She was quite surprised when she heard the price as it was twice as much as it was down south. She confirmed with the groomer that he understood what a line cut was and he said "yes, I know what a LION cut is." It seems her accent came out sounding like LION not LINE and this is how her cat was returned to her.

She cried for a week . . . but not as much as the cat. It was November in Chicago and the cat needed all the fur it had.

• Gas in car to go to groomers - $4.50
• Cat car carrier - $32.99
• Grooming fee - $80.00
• Getting the look from one seriously pissed off cat - Priceless!

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How to Bath the Cat

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.

lmmfao - boardman, the visual of that exercise is funny.

they will beg for it..



after boardman teaches you anyone can do it!

How to shave your pussy






@ NaN..boardman potty training fail..








There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a CAT in the depths of a CATNIP binge.

Hooked on catnip...

Hunter S Thompson came back as a cat?

Keep in mind that at some point we all come back as cats.

Keep in mind that at some point we all come back as cats. Originally Posted by boardman

Hmmmm. Maybe I already have? A guy called me a pussy the other day........

See...

Cardboard boxes

Empty cardboard boxes are great for kitties. You can attach some of their toys to it, use them as kitty toy boxes, cut doors in them for a Hideout, or put multiple boxes together and build a BIG Kitty Condo.

any advice on ads you can run to attract wayward and lost kitties?

any advice on ads you can run to attract wayward and lost kitties? Originally Posted by notanewbie

LMAO...I was hoping you could post, as a special guest, an op-ed on that very topic . Maybe even give some pointers on BP ads that really work! Like "Do you need a new cat daddy"

Which one of you fucktards took a star off of my five star threAD? Originally Posted by boardman

I gave you 5 stars but the awesomometer did not change.

I gave you 5 stars but the awesomometer did not change. Originally Posted by Luxury Daphne

Thancks for subscribing LD

I thinck the mods set the max at three...They don't want the awesomeness going to my head.

Check out the # of views though. LMMFAO
I'm guessing it has something to do with having the linck in my sig line.

Be sure to read my next installment "how to give a cat a pill".