An intriguing question for mature providers

It takes them about six months to see that the "Crazy/Hot" scale is not balanced lmao!

Ok so I have a client. He's 54 years old. He got married at 21. She took his virginity and he married her 3 weeks later. According to him everything was perfect at first. She was putting out, sucking his dick, letting him do her booty .. the whole nine. Today he's miserable. If he buys her lingerie, by the time he gets home from work there's a lingerie bonfire in the backyard. If he sends her a text saying "I miss you" she'll say "I can't wait till God takes you away". He's in the hobby trying to find love because his wife treats him like SHIT. Who's fault is this? I say it's his fault for not taking the time to get to know her before marrying!

Believe it or not I am hearing this story a lot more often. So you mean to tell me that noone is telling this men "Wait untl you're ready", "Test the waters", "Go and have fun, you're too young to settle down"? Geez! Originally Posted by Naomi4u

I made the mistake of marrying too young and i'm still sucked into a vortex of unhappiness. :/

I need to study your pics then just to make sure if I move to LA one day I don't get roped in by you by mistake not knowing who you are.... lol

I made the mistake of marrying too young and i'm still sucked into a vortex of unhappiness. :/ Originally Posted by holdfast

Sorry to hear that. I hope things get better for you.

MAX- I know what you're saying.... What I meant by people not changing was that normally when you are courting and then get married (especially if married quick), when you start to see a change in the other person it's usually just the part of them that they have kept hidden and didn't let you see that side of them for fear of not having you. It wasn't really a change as much as it was just hidden. Originally Posted by Eccie Addict

I assumed that's what ya meant. Just puttin' my .02 in. :-)

I think people should actually cohabitate for a while before considering marriage. It really is the only way to actually make an informed decision on whether you might be able to live with each others quirks and living habits for life. It also gives you time to have the newness of all the pheromones flying around when ya first get together kinda slow down, so you can evaluate other traits a little more clear headed. LOL

In my experience, it's also easier to get out of a situation like that than it is to divorce. Divorce is way tougher, no matter who the deciding party is. I chose to leave my marriage and it was one of the hardest things I ever went through, but no way was I gonna be unhappy for the rest of my life. It may have been selfish to leave, but I'm only going to get one life, and didn't feel like I had done anything to deserve how unhappy I truly was. After many attempts at trying to change or get things to change, I was still unhappy and he knew what the options were. Anyway, I certainly wouldn't want anyone to stay with me if they were unhappy. I haven't dealt with that yet, but think I would let go gracefully, or at least hope I would.

@CB

Whatever you say, but methinks you doth protest too much.

@BL

See, she verbalized her hate one more time (at least). I think you were wrong.

I always felt that you can still see all you need to see about a person within a good amount of time with them and their family. You should have access to their family and close friends. Having that access you can learn a lot about a person that they may not tell you. I've found red flags about someone I was interested in simply by being around family. Turns out I made the right choice. I think that living together without getting married gives you an out that I don't think should come with that kind of commitment. I understand divorce when physical or mental abuse occurs but otherwise I think everything else can be worked on.... Granted they have to be willing to work on it. I also realize those vows are spoken by two people not just one.

If and when I get married again, I will totally be all that I can be(haha). I have learned so much in the past few years, through personal experience and through the hobby. When in a session with a guy we talk and they tell me what they want from women. It has made me a better lover when in a relationship and much more open minded. I still truly believe that if you want love you have to show it. We women love affection and attention. Maybe for whatever reason some refrain from sex or affection. Many men who tell me this is happening I always ask them if her doctor has checked the hormones. Those things can be a bitch and totally change a person. Then at times, a flame just goes out, people grow apart, have different interests and no longer consider each other. We get carried away with life, and forget the ones who are supposed to be #1 in our lives. Whatever it may be, if you truly love that person you try to find out and then try to work it out. If I were with someone that I loved, and he had issues, Id stand by him. Would I stray? probably not. But Im not geared for that type of lifestyle. Id feel too guilty. But you do what you gotta do, to each his own.

@CB

Whatever you say, but methinks you doth protest too much.

@BL

See, she verbalized her hate one more time (at least). I think you were wrong. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Charles, I will be the first to admit that I am the world's worst judge of character, particularly when it comes to women. I am notoriously prone to placing them on pedastals . . . at least until such time as they clearly demonstrate that they are unworthy of that level of respect. With regard to Chellablaine, I can only say that, in the very, very limited correspondence I have had with her, she has always been very cordial, respectful and, dare I say, sincere. Yes, she is highly opinionated but that makes for spirited conversation and, personally, I find intelligent women to be very sexy.

@CB

Whatever you say, but methinks you doth protest too much.

@BL

See, she verbalized her hate one more time (at least). I think you were wrong. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Charles, I will be the first to admit that I am the world's worst judge of character, particularly when it comes to women. I am notoriously prone to placing them on pedastals . . . at least until such time as they clearly demonstrate that they are unworthy of that level of respect. With regard to Chellablaine, I can only say that, in the very, very limited correspondence I have had with her, she has always been very cordial, respectful and, dare I say, sincere. Yes, she is highly opinionated but that makes for spirited conversation and, personally, I find intelligent women to be very sexy.

Marry me Breastluvr!! I have 36dd's lol!

Marry me Breastluvr!! I have 36dd's lol! Originally Posted by Chellablaine

Chellablaine, I know that you are teasing but thank you very, very much for stroking my ego just right. Yes, as a breast connoisseur, I noticed that yours are most impressive. Now what are your specific criteria for marriage? Purely for the sake of assessing compatability, of course, what specific traits do you value most highly in a man?

"Honesty"

the rest will fall into place.

:t hrob::thr ob:
Now what are your specific criteria for marriage? Purely for the sake of assessing compatability, of course, what specific traits do you value most highly in a man? [/quote]

"Honesty"

the rest will fall into place.

:t hrob::thr ob:
Now what are your specific criteria for marriage? Purely for the sake of assessing compatability, of course, what specific traits do you value most highly in a man? Originally Posted by Chellablaine

[/quote]

Excellent choice, Chellablaine. Manifested consistantly, honesty will eventually earn trust, which, as you know, is a very fragile commodity, one that is difficult to earn but easy to lose. And once lost, it is very difficult to ever achieve the same level of trust again. Without a deep, abiding sense of trust, two people will never achieve the level of respect that is the bedrock for the kind of love that we all seek, one that will last a lifetime.

One should be able to take for granted that people will say what they mean, mean what they say and do what they say they will do. Finding someone who consistantly lives up to this code, however, is not an easy task.

Folks, we have eclipsed 100 posts and are still going strong. The many permutations which this thread has assumed are intriguing in their own right, but please allow me to throw out the following observations regarding its primary focus, which was the effect of hormonal status on libido (particularly for pre-, peri- and postmenopausal women) and see what your opinions are.

For a woman who is still in love with her partner and knows that she is deeply loved by him, I can see no reason that their sexual expressions of affection should suddenly decline simply because of menopause. On the other hand, there is more than anecdotal evidence that it does impact the libido of many women. I have one close personal friend who finally decided to file for divorce because of a sexual drought with his wife that had persisted for years. Putting the time line together, it almost certainly bracketed the years during which she went through menopause. I don't know if the interplay between hormonal status and libido should be interpreted most accurately as a "cause-and-effect" relationship or more of a correlation. Perhaps it should be construed ultimately as both a contributing factor and a barometer of the overall health of the relationship, just as ED should be considered an early warning signal of future cardiovascular disease. Your thoughts?