Should I stay married or get divorced

dearhunter's Avatar
I thinck Nick should show her who is boss..........he should see escorts twice a week....ijs.
texag's Avatar
  • texag
  • 12-15-2011, 12:03 PM
Hey, while you are at it why don't you get some legal advice on how to follow through with divorce proceedings and custody issues!!! Sheesh!!!! Originally Posted by Abigail (Source of JOY)
I can help you with that part.
I think OP should stay married, be faithful to his wife and devote himself to raising his children. That's right, OP, no happy ending for you. This is what you signed up for, now live it. People survive all sorts of depravation, you'll survive the life you agreed to live.
Bumpy_Deek's Avatar
This is a SHMB and you ask that, I will depart now
Hi. I'm married, 6 years, 2 kids. Contemplated on divorce because of my desires and she drives me fucking apeshit. New to the hobby but I have a special friend in times of need over the years. I kept going back and forth. Yes there are memories to be made and tons to remember. But I would like to share a lot of my memories and look back at fun tines with someone later on in life. Providers come and go. They provide you with memories and happiness but more part of an illusion. Your wife provides you with something real and lasting. Just shitty sex. Take her to a titty bar. Open up her min about wild shit. And tell her what you want. Mine is hopeless. But cheaper to keep em. Lol
binger's Avatar
Hobbying does put distance between you and the wife: 1. you lie; 2. sexually, your unavailable for short periods of time; 3. your energy and resources are focus on "new pussy"

On the other hand, when the wife is the cause of stress or just pisses you off...then you feel "justified" in hobbying.

However, one thing is for sure: It is cheaper to keep her!

Besides, don't under estimate the value of a friend and lover. If the marriage hasn't screwed up the friendship why fuck it up. If you feel guilty about hobbying, you are REALLY going to feel guilty about jacking up her life!
Yea. Binger is right. Just don't get caught. It will traumatize her pretty badly.
All right, I will make this my first "official" post since the question here has direct relevance to my life experience.

I was formerly married for 15 years, and when I started hobbying in my 14th year, realized that the very fact I was hobbying indicated something was very wrong with my former marriage. Having several kids, I was hesitant to go the divorce route, but finally decided to do it because I realized that doing otherwise, even for the sake of my children, was to live my life as a lie (and at one level, children feel it when we live our lives as a lie). Having said this, there are a few things to think about:

1) Since you are already wondering about whether or not to be married so early in a marriage, it is evident that this marriage is not going to make it in the long run unless you have some form of religious conversion, major shakeup in your worldview, or something along those lines. You would actually do less damage to your child at this point then you would later on if you were to divorce now ...

2) Having said that, no matter what you are told you will probably underestimate the amount of pain going through a divorce will cause. Moreover, courts will look at you very poorly in this situation ...

3) No matter what you choose, you have a hard road ahead of you. Be prepared for that ... But whatever you decide, realize that at some level you are not thinking with your dick brain - regardless of the lack of "interesting" sex, you would not be asking this question if you were fully satisfied with your relationship. Think it through.

4) My final advice - one good way to make a decision would be to think the following ... suppose that you make a decision, and it ends up going very badly. Which way would you regret less ... a marriage where you end up very unhappy, or a divorce where you have a lot of "What if's?" down the road. Honestly, what would be less painful for you?

In my own life, I decided to go the divorce route, and it sucked worse than I had thought it would, especially involving my children. BUT ... I am 100% sure that this was the better outcome than the alternative of staying unhappily married.

Just my $0.02, but hope this helps ...
Sarunga's Avatar
This is becoming a very informative thread.
1.) Marriage counseling.
2.) Don't ever admitt to cheating (she will use it against you in court, if y'all go. And it will also make her feel bad and if you really love her then you do not want that on your conscience.)
3.) Talk about what's going on. (Being open about how you feel is the key to any marriage. To keep your marriage alive then talk to her about what you want out of your marriage. If she really loves you then she will take it to heart and try to make changes that will make both of y'all happy.)
4.) NEVER jump on the divorce train yet. (You can have it as a back-up plan or whatever, but you will need to think of your child(ren) before acting it out. You need to do everything you can before coming to divorce. If you cant do it for yourself or for her then you will need to for that child.)
5.) Try doing something nice for her. (Maybe y'all's sex life isn't like it was because either or y'all are too busy or stressed with the baby. Take a day off or a day both of y'all have time and go do something fun and have a relaxing day together. That might help those good emotions resurface.)
6.) It never hurts to try. Any effort is good effort.
7.) Buy her roses for no reason. Tell her you love her for no reason. You don't need a special day to do all of that. Just surprise her. Woman like it when you sweep them off their feet. I think a spontanious action will get her happy.

I wish you luck and I hope some of this will help you or any man that feels the need to divorce their wife. The woman you married is still inside somewhere. You just need to make her feel like she hasn't changed. That's the key!

Good luck!!! I hope it works out!
Eccie Addict's Avatar
Damn I'm impressed.... Jemma that was really great advice and I agree with every bit of it 100%
Thank you. I just know from personal experience and I watched a lot of Oprah haha
Eccie Addict's Avatar
Lol.... It was an impressive post
Sarunga's Avatar
I agree completely....that is damn good advice.
TexasGator's Avatar
Sorry Nick! I swear I didn't know she was your wife.

Don't you worry, though. I'll cut her back to once a week - for the sake of the marriage.