Knowing better

I agree with Rehke. The women that do this need to be exposed if nothing more then knowing who better to say "No" too. There is always a lady who will give the sad puppy dog eyes and say "Well I'm not like the others. I pay people back". That puts a fella in a difficult place. Originally Posted by Hercules

What difficult place? If a fella asks a provider "Can I get a BnG on credit?", do you think that any provider has a problem saying "Fuck No!"?

Again, these ladies are wonderful people, but the nature of the relationship is based on fair exchange.

Actually, I have gotten sessions on credit. And paid as agreed. I've gone out of my way to meet with a provider when we had such a good time that I left without paying by accident (and I tipped her for the inconvenience as well as I called her as soon as I took out my wallet and noticed that I still had the cash).

You're right, the nature of any relationship is based on an exchange that both parties feel is fair and agree to the value of what is exchanged.

We can quibble about what each of us considers is "fair". We all have different ideas about that. I tend to believe that once both parties state the terms and agree to those, that's fine, and the specifics are their own business.

It is not "fair" to violate the terms of an agreement once reached. If a party determines that an agreement is not working and wants to find a way out of it, that's fine as long as both are willing to comprise to a mutually acceptable closure.

For example, I know another provide that we tried something, it wasn't working for her and so we stopped. We worked out a reasonable compromise and we still do business as is convenient for both of us. No biggie.

I think I take what you're saying is that the nature of the provider/client relationship is best conducted on a pay as you go basis. You can't put a hooker on retainer and if you pre-pay you are just inviting disaster and a violation of the idea of a fair exchange.

That is, IMO, what people should be getting from this. I mean, yeah, we can trash-talk each other all day, but in the end, I rolled the dice on a situation and came up snake-eyes. And, yeah, I'm seasoned enough to know that the probabilities were against me.

Which brings me to Prospect Theory. I've been reading a lot of Kahneman lately and one of the things I find really interesting is how people weight outcomes and probabilities in making choices. It's common to be risk seeking when looking at potential gains and I think I can best say that I overweighted the potential gains of the situation versus the risks.

The obvious lesson for me is to consider how I personally framed the the situation for myself and how I made my decisions and where I ignored obvious signs versus being caught up in how I thought things would turn out.

The original title was "Knowing Better". That's what this is about, me and others knowing better in the future.

What difficult place? If a fella asks a provider "Can I get a BnG on credit?", do you think that any provider has a problem saying "Fuck No!"?

Again, these ladies are wonderful people, but the nature of the relationship is based on fair exchange. Originally Posted by str8.2.bbbj

Yep. Exactly, bro.

... The obvious lesson for me is ... Originally Posted by Rehke

Water finds its level.

Since this thread turned into a teaching tool for the OP. Let me give you some lessons from a staff's perspective

Lesson 1: Always take what is posted here with a grain of salt. Very seldom will you find a hobbyist that lives by the man rule of broes before hoes. This is a make believe stage, and the more gullible you are, the more likely you are to fall for what gets posted here.

Lesson 2: Never worship at the altar of the cults of personality on the board. They are just men and women like every other person in this world. They just like to project themselves as these larger than life fantasies.

Lesson 3: Never bring your off board conflicts to the board. It is an extremely bad idea and very often, it will backfire on you.

Here is the reason why I am posting to this thread. So much drama simply raised suspicion and a quick look at the mod's crystal ball revealed an unauthorized access. That is a direct board issue, while their arrangement is not for us to take sides on. So I started doing what mods do and sent a couple of inquiries. Jillian cooperated with requests for more information. Rehke on the other hand refused to cooperate. In fact he simply wanted to leave the site.

The unauthorized access happened on the first week of January. It showed Jillian accessing ECCIE from his regular spot. When I asked Jillian about it, she gave me her version with credible documentation. When I presented him with the same inquiry, he said he had extended this courtesy to Jillian on one of his guests computers, and that he had done so previously for other providers with no issues. The problem with that answer is that there was no history on any provider accessing their accounts from any such guests computers.

There are lots of other bits of info, but I will save the readers the pain. Most of the evidence that I saw showed that he managed to figure out her password on ECCIE and used it to access her account. What was the purpose for this? This is simply an educated theory. It appears that whatever arrangement that they had for their get together at the beginning of the year included some very controlling conditions. Something about her not doing any work whatsoever. Again, this is not board business, so we make no judgment on what two consenting adults agree on. It became a problem when he apparently decided that to enforce the conditions they had agreed upon, he would hack her account and check her messages to make sure she was keeping her end of the agreement. That nonsense doesn't fly with the staff. For what is worth, he never acknowledged it nor he denied it to me.Instead he questioned why Jillian would have more credibility than him when he had X numbers of OK on P411. This was about unauthorized access to another member's account, a board violation. It had nothing to do with anything else.

We do not endorse the claims made by each party on this thread. It is up to the readers to draw their own conclusions. The way he went about enforcing his conditions is unacceptable to the board. And it is something that needed to see the light of day.

... I think I can best say that I overweighted the potential gains of the situation versus the risks ... Originally Posted by Rehke

Indeed.