Have you ever fallen for a Provider?

Hey Jac01, I'm going to talk to you directly. Because I'm going through the exact same thing myself at this very moment. Everything you said in your first post is exactly what I did. (Seeing another provider)
I wonder if we fell for the same one???Anyway I'm shooting you a P.M so we can continue our bitch fest out of the sight of these harden eccie folks

I think we can get through this, let's come up with a plan to shake these fluttery feelings, shall we?

We (providers) are not any different than civvie women except for the fact that we are more open minded. Originally Posted by Dannie

And give better head.

of course I have but in the end it didn't work because we were at two different stages in our lives...I meet her children and everything but I guess it wasn't to be... we don't even see each other anymore sadly but we didn't/don't have bad blood between us we just kind of moved on...

First let me say I have never posted much but I was on ASPD since Jan 06 and then came over here. Anyway I do believe it is happening to me right now. I have always liked this girl a lot but it is changing now and the neatest thing just happened. We just went grocery shopping together and as I am typing she is in my kitchen cooking dinner. I have not been shopping with a female in like over 12 years so yes it was kind of cool and I guess it's the little things that make me feel like the connection is getting stronger. And on a final note I know how most say a relationship from this world is a train wreck waiting to happen but I look at it that if it happens and you don't try you will never know if the relationship could work so I say go with it and let the chips fall where they may.

This is the main reason I avoid kissing as much as my will power allows. It only accentuates the magnetic pull of emotional attachment we want to feel for them. For the most part, I am successful. For a couple of them, and they know who they are, the bittersweet feelings are unavoidable. But fall for them, no. Originally Posted by esteve

Wise words for sure.

First let me say I have never posted much but I was on ASPD since Jan 06 and then came over here. Anyway I do believe it is happening to me right now. I have always liked this girl a lot but it is changing now and the neatest thing just happened. We just went grocery shopping together and as I am typing she is in my kitchen cooking dinner. I have not been shopping with a female in like over 12 years so yes it was kind of cool and I guess it's the little things that make me feel like the connection is getting stronger. And on a final note I know how most say a relationship from this world is a train wreck waiting to happen but I look at it that if it happens and you don't try you will never know if the relationship could work so I say go with it and let the chips fall where they may. Originally Posted by tjs8488

Thee BIG question is did you pay for grocery shopping time??? Keep your emotions in check with logic... easy to say hard to do.

I went this route 2 times - am currently in one and glad to say the first experience keeps the second in proper perspective. We talk some days 5 or 6 times then 2 or 3 nothing.

First lady was real - off the clock sex after 2 dates. 2nd girl NO off the clock anything and though I click like never before - I realize it is a one way street - I do believe she values 'us' or she wouldn't call so often.

Off the clock time the most important clue as to if it is real for her.

Worse things could happen.

Jac01 and pete'smills,

Not all of us here at ECCIE are "tough as nails". As I posted earlier, I've fallen for a provider myself. She was actually the first to say the 4 letter word, but I knew when she did that I was following closely in that direction.

I would urge you to let the lady know. Unless you take the risk, you will always wonder? Did she feel anything for you? If you don't risk your feelings, you'll never know the truth.

I suggest that you tell her that you have fallen for her, and that if she sees something in you, you'd like to continue the relationship, off the clock, in a normal dating relationship. If she does not have feelings for you, let her know that she is excellent at her job, and you won't be back, as the relationship cannot be what you are looking for from her.

Since when is human emotion a sign of weakness? Be grateful you can feel and have met someone who touches you so. Feel blessed that you are capable of such emotions. Originally Posted by M A X

I say that I was weak because I thought I could participate in the hobby for pure physical pleasure to provide me with what I do not receive enough of at home while not getting emotionally attached. It was working until I met this lady last summer and I failed to prevent myself from falling for her. And yet, I've never fallen out of love with the one I am committed to. Those that can remain emotionally and physically with the same person are the strong ones. In my mind, I can separate emotional attachment from the physical act. She broke through that separation without even trying.

@69er, good advice I appreciate your positive comments. Unfortunately I am afraid that if I reveal my feelings I am vulnerable to a bigger wicked plot. What if she say's I L***E you 2, but her intentions are to juice me more? I.E Well I need this and I need that. How am I suppose to pay my bills? In the end I can come off of more money than the hourly fee. Not to say I'm a cheapskate it's just the fact that I am being played for a bigger fool if she has intentions to just juice my ass. A conundrum if I ever have seen one indeed....

Jac01 and pete'smills,

Not all of us here at ECCIE are "tough as nails". As I posted earlier, I've fallen for a provider myself. She was actually the first to say the 4 letter word, but I knew when she did that I was following closely in that direction.

I would urge you to let the lady know. Unless you take the risk, you will always wonder? Did she feel anything for you? If you don't risk your feelings, you'll never know the truth.

I suggest that you tell her that you have fallen for her, and that if she sees something in you, you'd like to continue the relationship, off the clock, in a normal dating relationship. If she does not have feelings for you, let her know that she is excellent at her job, and you won't be back, as the relationship cannot be what you are looking for from her. Originally Posted by 69er

+1

@69er, good advice I appreciate your positive comments. Unfortunately I am afraid that if I reveal my feelings I am vulnerable to a bigger wicked plot. What if she say's I L***E you 2, but her intentions are to juice me more? I.E Well I need this and I need that. How am I suppose to pay my bills? In the end I can come off of more money than the hourly fee. Not to say I'm a cheapskate it's just the fact that I am being played for a bigger fool if she has intentions to just juice my ass. A conundrum if I ever have seen one indeed.... Originally Posted by pete'smills

Being this hobby is a very intimate one, there are risks involved, knowing that you have to act with caution. But on the other hand, when you get to this point with some one you met in a differrent way, how different is the risk. So I say the best way to proceed is with lots of communication which applies to both ways of meeting.

@69er, good advice I appreciate your positive comments. Unfortunately I am afraid that if I reveal my feelings I am vulnerable to a bigger wicked plot. What if she say's I L***E you 2, but her intentions are to juice me more? I.E Well I need this and I need that. How am I suppose to pay my bills? In the end I can come off of more money than the hourly fee. Not to say I'm a cheapskate it's just the fact that I am being played for a bigger fool if she has intentions to just juice my ass. A conundrum if I ever have seen one indeed.... Originally Posted by pete'smills

If ya don't have trust, can you really have love? We all take a chance when we give our heart to another. You may get hosed or it may turn out to be your "happily ever after". We don't get guarantees or a warranty with relationships no matter what walk of life we come from or meet in, whether it be friendships or lovers.

Let me ask you guys this....how do you know the "ladies in question" are not gonna think that you are just a smooth operator looking to get some free "time"? Keep in mind that the ladies might also have reservations about your motives. I'm just sayin'.

Best of luck to all those who find themselves, smitten, infatuated, or just downright in love.

there it is...Good facts... Max...

If ya don't have trust, can you really have love? We all take a chance when we give our heart to another. You may get hosed or it may turn out to be your "happily ever after". We don't get guarantees or a warranty with relationships no matter what walk of life we come from or meet in, whether it be friendships or lovers.

Let me ask you guys this....how do you know the "ladies in question" are not gonna think that you are just a smooth operator looking to get some free "time"? Keep in mind that the ladies might also have reservations about your motives. I'm just sayin'.

Best of luck to all those who find themselves, smitten, infatuated, or just downright in love. Originally Posted by M A X

Well said, Max. In my case, I've been in "infatuated" with two ladies in the hobby and been in "GF/BF" relationship for a period of time. With the first lady, the relationship lasted more than two years. The second one was a lot shorter...about 8 months. In both cases, we uttered the L-word with each other, and we meant it. But I believe, at least from my perspective, we knew that we wont be in a "forever" relationship. In my mind, I considered the relationship as more like sugardaddy/sugarbaby type of situation since I helped them financially and they accepted it as a part of being in an exclusive relationship (as far as I know).

However, in my current situation, she and I clicked right away from the moment we met BCD. Immediately after our initial session, she said that she wants to pursue a more of BF/GF relationship and that she doesn't want to take my money. To this date, she hasn't asked for any financial support from me nor have I offered it. Recently, we both uttered the L-word and discussed how we can get into a "forever" situation. But the sticking part is that she is one of the popular providers on this board, and she's still taking appointments. She constantly reminds me that she is doing this to pay her bills, but I do get jealous (she also told me to stop reading her reviews because most of what men write are much exaggerated). I try to accept the fact that this is how I met her, and I know that she's going to do this until she reaches the point where she no longer wants to be a provider on her own will. But, as I have my moments of jealousy and insecurities, I am doing the best I can to make this relationship work for both of us.

Well said, Max. In my case, I've been in "infatuated" with two ladies in the hobby and been in "GF/BF" relationship for a period of time. With the first lady, the relationship lasted more than two years. The second one was a lot shorter...about 8 months. In both cases, we uttered the L-word with each other, and we meant it. But I believe, at least from my perspective, we knew that we wont be in a "forever" relationship. In my mind, I considered the relationship as more like sugardaddy/sugarbaby type of situation since I helped them financially and they accepted it as a part of being in an exclusive relationship (as far as I know).

However, in my current situation, she and I clicked right away from the moment we met BCD. Immediately after our initial session, she said that she wants to pursue a more of BF/GF relationship and that she doesn't want to take my money. To this date, she hasn't asked for any financial support from me nor have I offered it. Recently, we both uttered the L-word and discussed how we can get into a "forever" situation. But the sticking part is that she is one of the popular providers on this board, and she's still taking appointments. She constantly reminds me that she is doing this to pay her bills, but I do get jealous (she also told me to stop reading her reviews because most of what men write are much exaggerated). I try to accept the fact that this is how I met her, and I know that she's going to do this until she reaches the point where she no longer wants to be a provider on her own will. But, as I have my moments of jealousy and insecurities, I am doing the best I can to make this relationship work for both of us. Originally Posted by LAin78255

In my experience, jealousy is one of the most destructive things a love relationship can endure. That and lying are the two things that make me BOLT! I'm sure you understand jealousy is a sign of insecurity, but don't feel alone as most would show some signs of this in your situation. I hope you find a way to deal with it. If you want the relationship to last or to even go further, just remember that she needs you to be strong and confidant about her feelings for you, despite what she does for a living. I know this is easier said than done and I wish you all the best with it.